The Lives Of Lily And James Through Our Eyes
by Horse-James-Book-Lily-Worm
Summary: This story is a collection of LilyJames oneshots. Written by me and many other writers on Fanfiction. Rated for different stories.Please submit or request or suggest oneshots. I need permission from the author, but I might like them!
1. Intro

Dear Readers,

This story is a collection Of Lily/James oneshots. Each chapter is one oneshot. I have selected the ones I believe are the best, and will keep updating them as soon as I can. Mine will appear.

The stories have been given with the permission of the writer, and I take no credit for them. I also take no credit for the characters, J.K.Rowling created them.

Please pass on the word about this. I wish to read some more, although they will not always be chosen.

I am also available for a beta reader.

Lovingly,

Tobianne


	2. Oneshot 1: Spontaneousness

Spontaneousness

Oneshot #1

By: rebel.chick008

Their first year had come to an end and James was being led away from his friends at Kings' Cross by his parents. His mother had just grabbed his arm for Side-Along Apparition while he was chatting away about his year when a flash of red caught his eye.

"Mum! Wait!" he cried, turning around to stare at a pretty, petite red head of the same age. Lily Evans. She was a first year muggleborn witch in Gryffindor (like him) and she seemed to find him rather annoying. He on the other hand found her _fascinating_. Not that he'd admit it to anyone but Sirius, who he'd become good friends with over the year. As he watched her hurry out of sight, a thin, horse-like blonde girl not far ahead, he decided he would not leave Kings' Cross without talking to her first. So he yelled out,

"Lily! Lily Evans!"

Lily turned, her elbow-length straight hair whipping behind her, green eyes wide in surprise.

"What, Potter?" she yelled back after she recognized his voice, a small, almost unnoticeable, smile on her face.

"Marry me!" James called back, grinning.

Lily rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him.

"In your dreams Potter."

-

Six years had passed since that incident, and again James was leaving the station, now seventeen, with his mother and Sirius. Lily was leaving too, the same blonde girl in front of her, looking more horse-like than ever. However, some things had changed since then. Over the six years, James' fascination with Lily had led to infatuation and ultimately affection. Lily's annoyance had turned into intense dislike which had worsened, to be replaced by hate that had then changed to fondness. Lily and James were now going out, and very much in love. As he was leaving, ready to apparate, he caught a glimpse of red.

"Hold up, you guys." He stopped Sirius and his mother from leaving. He turned to look at Lily and then cried out,

"Lily! Lily Evans!"

Lily turned to him, her eyes wide with surprise.

"What Potter?" she yelled back, now grinning.

He remembered that day six years ago and replied, "Marry me!"

Lily rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Sure Potter, whatever."

James smiled to himself and apparated back home.

-

He was sitting in his room, not long after, when an owl dropped a scrap of parchment into his hand. On it, in stylish italic handwriting, was written:

_The next time you decide to yell across Kings' Cross to get my attention, remember to call me Lily Potter, would you?_


	3. Oneshot 2: Sadie Hawkins Dance

Sadie Hawkins Dance

Oneshot #2

By: The Luna Complex

After everyone had finished eating his or her share of the welcoming feast, Dumbledore stood to give his start-of-the-year speech. A certain messy-haired seventeen-year-old head boy wasn't listening for the most part, he could recite Dumbledore's speeches by heart. He didn't notice a certain red-haired head girl giving him death glares. One part of Dumbledore's speech, however, caught his full attention.

"This year, Hogwarts will be holding a ball at the start of the year. This will be no ordinary ball, for it will be a Sadie Hawkins Dance."

Murmurs went through the crowd. Muggleborn girls were excitedly explaining to their friends what it was while some of the purebloods looked utterly confused. Dumbledore quickly silenced them, however.

"The idea of the Sadie Hawkins dance is, in fact, adapted from the muggle culture. The rules of this dance are as follows; only fourth year and up may attend," there were several groans from the younger children, "you must bring a date, and the girls must choose which young man they would like to bring, not the other way around."

James' curiosity was certainly peaked. A dance where the girls ask the guys? That would mean the chances of him going with Lily Evans were near impossible, but he would enjoy himself anyway. He had a feeling this was going to be interesting...

-

_All the girls in the bathroom talking, _

_Who they're going to take to the Sadie Hawkins. _

_My ears are burning but I kept on walking, _

_Smile on my face and air-guitar rocking._

-

As James was walking down the hall, he heard his best friend, Sirius Black, call out to him.

"Hey, Prongs! Come here!" he whispered loudly.

"What's up, Padfoot?"

He quickly shushed him.

"Shut up, Prongs, they'll hear us!"

It was then that James realized they were standing outside the girl's bathroom.

"Sirius what are we-" he started, but Sirius cut him off.

"Watch and learn, Prongsie, watch and learn."

He waved his wand, did a quick spell, and suddenly they could hear voices coming from the door.

"So, girls, who do you wanna ask to the Sadie Hawkins?" asked one girl James recognized as Gwenyvere Otero, an erotic girl with black hair like silk that fell down to her waist and mystifying silver eyes.

"I think I might ask that Frank Longbottom," spoke a shy, quiet voice James knew to be Alice Horner, a small brunette who was known for her kind, amicable demeanor.

"It's about time! We all know you've liked him for ages!" came the bubbly voice of a cheerful and hyperactive girl with chestnut hair known as Holly Blue.

"Well, what about you Blue? Have you decided yet?" came Alice's voice. For a strange reason beyond James' knowledge the erratic girl always insisted on being called by her last name.

She didn't hesitate long before she blurted out, "Remus Lupin. Oh my God he's so sexy with all those scars!"

The girls all burst out into giggles before Blue asked, "And what about you, little-miss-tart? Who are you bringing?"

Gwen scoffed.

"Since when do I ever only bring one guy? I have several in mind, that Sirius Black being one of them. And perhaps that Evan Rosier, I love a bad boy."

The girls all burst out into giggles while Sirius smirked from next to him.

The girls then rounded on another girl.

"Why Lily," Gwen drawled, "You've been awful quiet. Who were you planning on taking to the Sadie Hawkins?"

James tensed. This was what he was waiting for. He knew she wouldn't ask him but he couldn't get rid of the feeling in the pit of his stomach telling him he might have a chance.

She mumbled something incoherently.

"What was that, Lils? We didn't hear you."

"I don't know... I was thinking, maybe James would go with me."

James froze. He couldn't believe his hears. He didn't hear the other girls squealing and giggling, nor did he feel Sirius clap him on the back. He felt his ears turning red but he couldn't shake the feeling of pure ecstasy streaming through his body.

He ran down the hallway in a state of bliss, rocking out on his air-guitar. He didn't care that the people he passed in the corridors looked at him and whispered to their friends about how the head boy had finally lost it.

-

_Sitting in the back of my next class napping._

_Got up, gave a speech, then bowed to the clapping._

_Told a funny joke, got the whole class laughing._

_Think I got a tan from the light, which I was basking._

-

James went through the next few days feeling like he was on the top of the world. He had gotten several offers to go to the Sadie Hawkins, but he kept refusing, holding to the knowledge that Lily was planning on asking him to go with her.

He was in Transfiguration now, trying to pay attention to what McGonagall was saying, but found himself staring at the back of Lily's auburn head. He slowly drifted of to sleep and dreamt of her.

"Mr. Potter!" the sharp voice of Professor McGonagall called out, awaking him.

"What's up, Minnie?"

The class sniggered, and even the usually stern professor's lips started to twitch.

"Would you like to go up to the front of the class and explain to our students the sensations of the transformation of an animagus?"

James glances Sirius' way and they both smirked.

"Of course!" he stated cheerfully, and with that he made his way up to the front of the class.

"When transforming to one's animagus form for the first time, it may be a bit painful, but as the body adjusts, the pain dulls until one feels none at all. As one is transforming, a tingling sensation overtakes the body as it changes. The tingling is not painful, but not pleasant, much like when your butt falls asleep listening to the head boy giving a painfully boring speech about animagi."

The class chuckled at his comparison and clapped for him. He took an exaggerated bow and returned to his seat. As he walked back, he caught Lily's eye and rumpled his hair as he grinned at her. She rolled her eyes and gave him a small smile.

-

_Scan the cafeteria for some good seating._

_I found a good spot by the cheerleaders eating._

_The quarterback asked me if I'd like a beating_.

_I said that's one thing I won't be needing._

-

As the Marauders entered the Great Hall for lunch, they searched around for a good place to sit. They chose a spot by Lily, her friends, and Frank Longbottom, who happened to be sitting with his arm around Alice Horner's waist.

"Hello ladies!" grinned Sirius as he sat next to Gwen and threw his arms around her shoulders. She simply rolled her eyes and smiled at her.

James smiled when he caught Lily staring at him and said, "Hey, Lily."

"Hi James," she said, softly.

Blue, who had been looking intensely at her plate, suddenly looked up at Remus and blurted out, "Go to the Sadie Hawkins with me?"

Remus looked taken aback but recovered quickly enough to stutter out, "Yes, of course."

They smiled at each other and Remus took his place next to her.

James squeezed himself between Blue and Lily and smiled down at her while she grinned shyly up at him.

They stayed that way until, "What do you think you're doing, Potter?"

Everyone in the group looked up to face a livid Amos Diggory, captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team and Lily's ex-boyfriend.

"What does it look like Diggory? I'm simply eating my lunch in the company of these lovely young ladies."

The handsome Hufflepuff's mouth was thinned so much it looked like someone could have drawn it on with a pencil.

"Would you like a beating, Potter?"

"I won't be needing that, thanks," he retorted.

-

_And since I'm so smart and cunning,_

_I took off down the next hall running,_

_Only to get stopped by a girl so stunning._

_Only to get stopped by a girl so stunning._

_She said, "You're smooth and good with talking,_

"_You're going with me to the Sadie Hawkins."_

-

When James saw Diggory's face contorting and turning colors he had never heard of before, he sped out the Great Hall as if rabid kneazles were nipping at his heels. He chuckled at this thought, could kneazles even get rabies? He didn't have much time to dwell on that though, as he felt a small tug on his sleeve and he turned around, expecting the worst.

Instead of seeing a murderous Amos Diggory, he found himself face to face with a stunning redhead.

She smiled at him and said, "It's about time someone stood up to that cad."

James couldn't help but grin at her choice of words, so uncharacteristic of little Lily Evans.

She blushed and looked away before staring back into his eyes determinately and saying, "You know, James. You've changed. I would love it if you would go to the Sadie Hawkins with me."

James grin grew even wider and he laughed as he shouted, "Yes!"

He grabbed her in his arms, swung her around, and put her down laughing. Her cheeks were flushed, her hair messed up, and her green eyes sparkling. He had never seen anything so beautiful. It was all he could do to not just kiss her right then and there.

"So," she giggled, "See you tomorrow night, then?"

James grinned.

"Of course!"

-

_The Sadie Hawkins Dance,_

_In my khaki pants,_

_There's nothing better._

_Oh! Oh! Oh!_

_The girls ask the guys,_

_It's always a surprise._

_There's nothing better._

_Baby, do you like my sweater?_

-

At 6:00 the next day, James was waiting impatiently for Lily to come down to meet him. He was wearing simple, yet formal khaki pants and a black sweater underneath his elegant black dress robes decorated with gold clasps.

He noticed several girls crowded around Sirius and a few guys waiting around, probably for Gwen. James shook his head. They had no idea what they were getting into, especially since Sirius and Gwen would also be going with each other.

He saw little Alice come down the stairs first, her brunette hair done in a simple plait and sky blue dress robes to accent her eyes. She linked arms with Frank and they headed out the portrait hole.

Next he saw Blue come down with her chestnut hair carelessly, yet somehow elegantly, thrown on top of her head. She wore a black dress underneath her nearly translucent electric-blue dress robes. She reminded him somewhat of a butterfly, but he kept that comment to himself and she and Remus walked away together.

Gwen was the next to come down, her long, black hair flowing freely around her waist. She was wearing thin, tight-fitting black dress robes and a deep red dress that barely covered her was underneath. He silently sniggered and motioned for Sirius to wipe the drool off his lip.

When Lily finally descended the stairs to the girl's dormitories, he gasped. She was wearing intricately woven off-white dress robes that showed off the sparkling dress she wore underneath that was a pleasant swirl of oranges and pinks. She reminded him of the sunset.

She smiled at him and walked over to him.

"I like your sweater," she stated simply, putting her hand on his chest.

The temptation was too much for James. He put his hand over hers on his chest and brought his other hand up to her cheek. Her free hand went up to rest on his shoulder and their lips met.

_That was definitely worth waiting six years for._


	4. Oneshot 3: Feel like this

_Feel like this_

_Oneshot #2_

_By: _You're Cute When You Scream

_His hands swept down her arms, making her shiver. He was so close, and his musky scent was overwhelming, and as his hands ran down her forearms and onto her waist, she let go a shaky breath, her bottom lip quivering. So slowly, he lowered his head to hers-_

Lily jerked herself from the daydream, biting her lip. History of Magic did tend to make the mind wander towards things that were forbidden.

A bead of sweat tickled her hair line, and she swiped at it. The hazy heat was horrible, it made everyone lax and sleepy, and the air heavy like honey. Lazily she glanced around the room, no one else seemed to be paying attention to the boring old ghost. Why should she?

She smiled sleepily, and let her gaze land on James. He was leaning back in his chair, rocking on the back two legs. He was diagonal to her, the perfect position, right in front of the window. If she was caught staring, she could simply state she had been gazing out the window, daydreaming of shadows and breezes and cold pumpkin juice. And not his hands, his large hands that were so rough and strong...

The bell rang sharply, and Lily snapped her head up. She groaned and let her head sink to the desk. She was absolutely hopeless. Everyone filed out of the classroom as fast as they could, leaving only James and his friends packing up there stuff.

Why was it that she had denied herself one thing all those years her yearned for her. And then the moment she was prepared to completely give in and let him sweep her off her feet, he let it go?

Irony was the word.

Slowly she dumped everything in her bag, the untouched writing implements and unopened history book. The only good thing about this class was the fact that it was their last of the week. The weekend loomed. And for once, Lily Evans was glad of it.

Her bag slung over her shoulder, she tottered out of the classroom, preferring to walk behind the Marauder's rather than in front. And not just to stare at a certain Marauder's bottom, you never know what they might do behind ones back.

Luckily for her, they were in some sort of a rush, and James brushed past her lightly, quickly murmering an apology to her, his voice deep and calm. She stopped to the side of the corridor, and fell against the wall. Had she really become that hopeless that his low husky voice made her weak in the knees? She smacked her head against the wall.

She called herself all kinds of stupid before she started moving again. She took the lonely path back to the common room, there was still and hour before dinner. An hour to waste pretending to do homework, while really distracted by his stupid presence. Oh, how she hated the way he made her stomach sway with joy!

Lily morosely mumbled the password at the portrait, not paying too much heed as she smiled warmly at her. Bored, she slumped onto one of the arm chairs, dropping her bag to the floor. Amazingly, they common room was crowded. That's odd, she could have sworn no one was there a few seconds ago.

Lily closed her eyes and leaned back into the couch. No, she had known someone was in here. She had known all along that James was in here. It was hard for her to miss when her heart shuddered violently in her chest before starting again, only double the pace. But when he was around, it was like there was no one else in the world, just those two. It was bliss.

Kids shrieked around her, running and chasing and being down right annoying. Lily tried desperately to shut out the noise to no avail. A headache brewed somewhere in the back of her head.

Fed up of the stupid first years she grunted menacingly and jumped up, snatching her wand from her bag she sent her bag to her room. Few people watched this stunt, anger seemed to radiate off of this red-headed beauty.

Frustrated with herself, she stomped towards the back of the portrait, her mouth set in a straight line. She had no idea why she was so angry! It was just boiling inside her stomach like a potion, ready to explode any minute if the heat became too much.

Things seemed to slide out of her way, the strangled hold she had on her wand didn't loosen as she marched out of the common room. Her breathing was heavy as she walked with stubborn movements through the school. No idea where she was taking herself she just walked.

When she had walked enough she stopped in an abandoned corridor, she scrunched her eyes up tight and screamed as loud as she could. All the anger she had ever felt spilling out into the corridor by way of her torn angels voice.

Rage dissolved into sadness and grief, and the scream was caught in her throat. Her eyes slipped shut, and she dropped herself to the floor. Her legs were sprawled around her in a rather undignified manner, and tears dribbled unbidden from her eyes.

_Man, _she thought, _emotions suck._

She cried for no reason. Or maybe there was a reason. All the pent up energy she had held in these past few weeks, all the hate she felt for every girl that passed James's apraising eyes, all the heartbreak she had felt when she knew he didn't love her any more. All of the rage she felt with herself for not realising that her head swimming every time she saw him was not hate at all. But it love, and overwhelming, overgrown love and joy being near him.

For those moments she was alone in the hall, she broke down. In all her red-headed, emerald-eyed glory she snapped like a twig under foot.

And then the running sounded, and the panting of someone who had been jogging through the old castle. She breathed deep when the footsteps closed, and she peeked out from under her eye lashes.

Lily regretted the action almost instantly. Because standing at the hall, with broad shoulders, long legs, messy, jet black hair and dark brown eyes hidden under wire-rimmed glasses, was James Potter. The sight made her heart ache.

"Oh my," he whispered, and took four long strides to reach her. He immediately leant over and picked her up. Like a rag doll, she was limp in his arms, her heart beating erratically as she was suddenly aware of his arms wrapped around her waist, and her whole body pressed against his. Her breathing hitched as his thumbs moved against her back, leaving lines of heat where they had once been.

Lily let her eyes stay closed, for if she opened them to look through the glass and into his eyes, she would surely die of happiness. Though now she thought of it, that wouldn't be so bad. Instead she pulled her arms from her side and wrapped them around his neck, burying her face deeper into his chest.

"Lily," he whispered in her ear, his warm breath tickling her neck, and that deep voice sending butterflies flying up to her throat, floating around inside of her. Lily screwed her eyes shut tighter, because if she opened them, she would be alone in the corridor, hugging herself closely and weeping into her own arms.

He pulled back slightly, and her loose grip around his neck meant her hands slid over his strong shoulders. James supported her slightly, though her feet were firmly on the ground, her knees were weak again. One of his hands ran up her back, into her hair, and down the side of her neck, an action that made her shudder with delight, a small smile spread itself over her mouth.

Lily felt his calloused thumb run down the front of her throat, while his fingers played with the hair just behind her ears. Suddenly she felt very sleepy again, relaxed and calm. James made her feel like that though. He always achieved the impossible, making her feel so sleepy and yet so awake at the same time.

Apprehension ran through her bones, was he going to kiss her? Or was he just going to stay like this? Because for her, staying like this would have been just fine, even if it meant she'd never find out what it was like to kiss him, it didn't matter, because this was enough.

"Lily..." he breathed in her ear again, and she felt his lips ghost against the side of her face, down to the corner of her mouth, and then back up to her ear again. She loved the way her name rolled off of his tongue.

Just like in those daydreams she had, she let out a shaky breath, her lower lip quivering. The thumb on her throat stroked her skin lightly, a sigh emmited from Lily's lips and she ran her own hands over his shoulders and up to his soft hair.

She had yet to open her eyes, and she never wanted to, it would ruin whatever type of moment they had, the moment that hung in the air heavily and draped itself over them like a blanket.Or was that the heat? Lily wasn't sure, she didn't care either.

Slowly she sighed, and took a tiny step forward so that she was a smidgen closer, and her knee was brushing the base of his.

It was his turn to let out a shaky breath, "Screw it," he breathed, and pressed his mouth to hers.

Slowly and sweetly they kissed, even if it was only for a few seconds, his lips were so warm against hers, and she found herself sighing into his mouth before he pulled away.

They both opened their eyes, Lily's image mirrored James's, lips parted slightly, cheeks flushed a light pink, eyes clouded with love, lust, passion, every emotion in the world. She took a deep breath and breathed, "Wow." That was enough for him. He spun her around so she had her back against the corridor wall, and once again kissed her softly.

It was all movements and sighs from there. Her hands tugged on his hair, while one of his brushed against her stomach, the other still on her neck, cradling her face. Her mind was blissfully blank as James's lips caressed hers.

When he pulled away, Lily was panting, before she could open her eyes and say something, James pressed his mouth to her neck, just under her ear. She tipped her head back onto the wall, her eyebrows raised and smiling, while the hand on her waist stroked her stomach gently.

She was thoroughly enjoying herself when all the frantic thoughts flooded back to her. She shouldn't be doing this! He shouldn't be doing this! They weren't meant to be together, they were meant to continue their much loved game of cat and mouse! Nothing serious was ever meant to come of this.

She was doing it again, she was denying herself the one thing she wanted more than anything in the world again. Lily turned her head, and James pulled away, and as she opened her eyes, she realized that this couldn't go on any further, not unless she knew exactly where they stood with each other.

His eyes didn't read confusion, as she thought they might have, but the deep brown told only of knowing sympathy. _He knew this was going to happen,_ she thought sadly.

Desperately she searched his eyes for anything but that knowledge and that pure innocent love that always rested there. "What does this _mean_?" she begged.

He smiled at her, and her knees were weak, and her heart rocketed off again. And in that husky voice of his, he answered her. "Whatever you'd like it to mean, love."

Lily's mind screamed, screamed and sang at the same time. _Whatever I'd like it to mean? What kind of non-answer is that?_ But maybe the answer wasn't as bad as she thought. She bit her lip, swollen from the kissing, and looked up at him through her lashes. If she had an insight to James's mind at that very moment, she would have known how alluring she had looked. But she didn't. She was acting shy. Shyness be damned.

He called her love, and he'd said it gently, like there was more to his words than what was really there. He'd always spoken to her like that, in that caring way, with that voice that folded her up and placed her in his pocket. But he'd always looked at her like that too. Since when had his voice and looks made her feel like this?

"I don't know what I want it to mean though," Lily whispered helplessly, and looked down at the floor, her head tilted down and side ways. She couldn't help but notice his hands still on her waist and collarbone, and hers over his shoulders.

All sorts of emotions welled up inside of her, suffocating and drowning the butterflies, she slipped her hands down to his chest, and she gripped his shirt in her balled up hands. Lily glared up at him. "I hate you," she whispered, the scornful words sounded weak to her own ears, and her eyes didn't project the malice she wanted them to.

"Why do you hate me?" he whispered back playfully. It wasn't a game for him, but by making it sound like one of those little spats they had all the time, it made things easier.

"I hate you because you make me feel like this! All happy and beautiful! I hate how you make my head spin and my knees all wobbly! I hate it that you look at me, like, like _that!_" Lily's whispered words were heated, and full of passion, and that same passion burned in her green eyes like some sort of fire.

James's eyes were slightly clouded again, and he was smiling all lopsided again, like he did when he looked at her while they fought. "Well," he said in a hushed voice, lowering his head to her ear. "If that's the case," he trailed a line of kisses up the side of her neck, down and up to her ear again, "I hate you too."

He kissed the corner of her mouth again, and raised his hand to her face. James leaned his forehead to hers and traced the outline of her lips with his thumb, Lily's wide eyes were staring up at his. Over and over again he whispered, "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you," so lovingly and gently she felt like she might cry again.

His voice faded away into the night, and he rubbed his nose against hers. Lily closed her eyes and sighed, "What will everyone think? The immovable Lily Evans falls for the magnificent James Potter..."

James only laughed, "You think I'm magnificent..." he stated dreamily, and then, more seriously. "But it doesn't matter what they think, if they are against us, they can go themselves. Because I have you. And they don't." He grinned recklessly, and through his smile, he kissed her again, drawing her snug against him.


	5. Oneshot 4: Charms

_Charms_

_Oneshot #4_

_By: theturtlemoves_

In first year, Charms meant learning how to make a pineapple dance across Flitwick's desk. It wasn't particularly difficult, but the red haired girl managed to learn how to do it a good twenty minutes before he did, which annoyed him to no end.

He put slime in her hairbrush for her trouble.

In second year, Charms meant sitting behind the red haired girl and sharply tugging on the thick braids which hung down over the back of her chair, making her yelp in surprise.

She got him back with a well-timed jelly-legs jinx.

In third year, Charms meant sitting in the back with his best mate and snidely mimicking the red haired girl every time she raised her hand to answer a question. A part of him knew it was immature, but she was such a little madam sometimes that he felt it was justified.

He felt a little bad when she glared. Just a little.

In fourth year, Charms meant watching the red haired girl out of the corner of his eye until she looked at him, at which point he would pretend to be looking somewhere else entirely. Foolproof, that was.

It earned him a few swift kicks under the table, and a number of odd looks on her part.

But also a rare smile.

In fifth year, Charms meant leaning back on his chair and ruffling his hair so it looked like he'd just stepped off his broomstick. It also meant talking in a loud voice and always being bored with everything. He knew she was looking at him.

Perhaps, he thought, he was on to something. But when he asked her out, she said no.

In sixth year, he spent most of Charms wondering why she wouldn't go out with him, what he was doing wrong, and why he had wanted to go out with her in the first place. He doodled all over his notes and didn't pay much attention.

Later, in light of everything that happened with his friends, Charms didn't seem so important. He didn't do very well that year.

-

In seventh year, Charms meant watching the boy with the messy black hair and trying to figure out what was different. It earned her a number of odd looks on his part.

He asked her for help on his essay. Everyone knew she was good at Charms, he said. He was falling a little behind, and he promised that he'd really appreciate the help.

She said she would.

-

They started to work together. Working led to talking, which led to smiling, which led to laughing. And for once, it wasn't awkward. It was even friendly. It seemed that they had more in common than they had thought.

Then she kissed him. Or he kissed her. It didn't matter. _They kissed_. Suddenly, all the stuff that they had done to each other over the years made a little more sense.

When he asked her what had changed her mind, she smiled.

'Just chalk it all up to your boyish charm, Potter.'


	6. Oneshot 5: Cold Feet

Cold feet

Oneshot #5

By: mrs. ruffled his already mussed hair and swung his head to the side quickly- too quickly as it turned out. He closed his eyes as the pounding in his head subdued. Man, this sure would make for one nasty hangover. When he opened his eyes, his gaze fell upon overturned furniture, empty bottles of alcohol, decorations such as confetti and magical balloons, and other party remnants. On the floor, in a heap of body and clothing, lay Sirius and Pete serenely snoring in a drunken stupor. A rustling behind him caused James to turn again, this time at a cautiously slow speed.

"I guess that means the bachelor party was a success..."

It was Remus.

James tried for a nod, but immediately regretted it. He settled for a short "mhm," while waiting for his headache to quiet again.

"How do you feel?" Remus asked, his breath only faintly tinted with the scent of liquor.

"Terrible," James responded glumly.

"That's just the firewhiskey. You'll be over it by ceremony time." Remus soothed.

"No... I don't think that's it..." James slurred as coherently as his slowed brain would allow.

"How do you figure?"

"Do you think there's a chance that maybe... maybe Lily isn't the one for me?"

There was a stunned silence.

"Prongs, you've been telling us since fourth year that you were going to marry this girl. You're having doubts _now_?"

"Well, I've been wrong about things before... Maybe that was just a fantasy, like something I never thought I could have. Maybe I just wanted to see if I could get her."

"James!" Remus gasped.

"I was stupid then, Moony. Who knows what sort of twisted logic could have started this?!" James let his face drop helplessly into his hands.

"Don't you love her?"

A pregnant pause followed. Remus found himself leaning forward so that he was precariously perched literally on the edge of his seat in anticipation of James' answer.

"Of course."

Remus let out a breath that he hadn't even realized he was holding.

"With all my heart, I always have."

Remus scowled in confusion. "Then what's the problem?"

"I... I don't know. Maybe it _is_ the beer." James forced a chuckle that he hoped would make Remus forget about the whole thing.

"Right..." Remus said uncertainly.

"I think I'll go for a walk..."

"I'll come with you," Remus offered, standing up. James waved him off.

"No, you stay here with these two prats," he motioned towards Sirius and Pete, "you never know what they could get into while drunk and unsupervised."

"Good point. Don't wander too far, now. I would hate to have to tell Lily you never came back." Remus laughed, only half joking.

"Cheers."

James stumbled along the avenue. The cold, crisp night air was rather refreshing. He lost himself in the darkness and when he reemerged, he found himself outside the house Lily was staying at with her girlfriends. He paced in front of the door, trying to decide if this idea was like one of those that only seemed good because it was conceived at two in the morning or under the influence (both of which were factors in this situation).

Finally he came to the conclusion that no good could come from being there and slowly turned to leave. He needed to get back to the Potter mansion anyhow. His friends were probably still sleeping and might even be drooling on his mum's furniture. He shivered at the thought of the repercussions of that. He'd probably get a howler during his honeymoon! He made up his mind; he had to get back. He didn't get too far when he heard girlish giggling behind him. He knew the sight before he even turned to look.

Lily stood in the centre of a bunch of hysterical girls. She wore a large play tiara on her head which glowed pink (even though she had begged for a more dignified color, or perhaps one that didn't clash with her hair so). Glitter glinted on her eyelashes and on her bare shoulders, exposed by the sleeveless boustier her friends had coaxed her into . James's breath caught in his throat.

"You look positively gorgeous, love," he said, finding himself unable to move. If there were ever any doubts that he loved Lily, they would have been smashed at that very moment,

Lily's cheeks flushed a pink to match her tiara and the other girls just giggled more profusely.

"Erm, girls? Do you think I could have a _private_ word with Lily?"

"Sure!"

"Of course!"

"Go on, Lils!"

The girls shooed Lily out the door towards James and went back inside to leave them alone, all the while giggling.

_'For Merlin's sake, do they do nothing but giggle?' _James thought.

"You wanted to talk?" Lily prompted.

James took one last look over his shoulder in the direction of his manor and sighed. This was his last chance to get away unscathed.

"Yeah."

_There goes that plan._

"The thing is... I don't know quite how to say this. I suppose I'll just be blunt, then." He struggled, hoping to be able to conjure the correct words.

"You always are," Lily said happily. _Ok, I'm ready for anything._

"I do believe I'm experiencing cold feet."

_Anything except maybe that._

"I'm... sorry?"

James did a double take. "No, I'm sorry. Never mind, that was stupid. I'll leave you alone now."

"Wait!" Lily's mind was spinning. "Please don't go. Talk to me."

James was instantly sorry that he had come. He couldn't imagine anything worse than a man telling a woman that he was questioning their relationship on the night before their wedding.

"What exactly is it that you're nervous about?"

"Me," James replied simply. Lily put her hands on her hips.

"James Potter, if you plan on giving me one of those 'it's not you, it's me' speeches on the eve of our wedding, you're sorely mistaken."

"No, no. That's not how I meant it at all. I meant... I think this whole thing started for the wrong reason."

"I don't think I understand," Lily said, her brow her brow furrowed in a contemplative expression.

"What I mean is, back when I was young and stupid, I made advances on you for the wrong reasons. You were a mystery, Lily, a challenge. I think it started as a game," James explained in a hushed voice. Lily stared pensively at the moon.

"It's beautiful..." she said dreamily.

"Lily!" James exclaimed impatiently. He put his hand on her shoulder to jolt her back to reality. Somewhere inside the house a fresh round of giggles started.

"James, I don't think it matters how this started. As long as now it's for the right reasons, the past doesn't matter. I mean, I, for one, started this off trying to break you down. Thought it would be the ultimate revenge prank, I did." Lily saw the look of hurt wash over James' features.

"Well, I changed my mind, didn't I?"

"That's another thing. _Why_ did you change your mind? I was a terrible guy!" He threw his arms up in self-loathing and turned his back to Lily, trying to create a physical barrier between them to match the emotional one.

"James, I'm not sure you realize you're using the verb in a past tense. You _were_ a not-so-great guy once upon a time."

He spun around as quickly as he dared without upsetting his headache. "But I haven't changed!"

"Maybe not, but that's a good thing. I didn't want you to change," Lily's eyes twinkled, "I wanted you to evolve."

"There's a difference?" James asked.

"Of course."

James absorbed the thought in silence.

"And did I do it?"

"Only brilliantly," Lily affirmed.

Another moment of absolute stillness passed between them, and then James brought his face so close to Lily's that he could see every freckle clearly, even in the dim light of the night. Their noses just barely brushed. Oh so carefully he asked the real question; the question for which he had walked three miles in the dead of night to hear the answer.

"Why do you love me?"

Lily was caught off guard. She hesitated a bit too long. "Well... I..."

"But you _do_ love me, right?"

"No, I'm _marrying_ you for your _money_," she snapped.

"Don't joke," James demanded evenly, his face still within centimeters of hers.

"Of course I do," Lily answered.

"Ok, glad we've got that cleared up... Now it's just a matter of finding out why."

"Does it matter?" Lily countered; her eyes alight with a new stinging fire. "Can't you just be happy with the fact that I do and be done with it?"

"No!" James groaned. "I _can't_ just be happy with it because I know that in about five years I'll have no clue as to how to make you happy and you'll be kicking yourself that you chose me when there's some perfectly nice, smart, _serious_ guy running around just waiting for you!"

"I can guarantee that won't happen." Lily spat.

"Oh?" James rivaled. "I don't recall you paying _that_ much attention in Divination."

"I didn't have to. I know I won't want just_ some_ guy who's _perfect_. I want _this_ one, imperfections and all." She made sure to look him directly in the eye while saying it.

James looked sheepishly at her, and then cocked one of his eyebrows in a challenging fashion. "You still have yet to answer 'why'. Why am I the lucky dope?" James watched Lily as she gave serious thought to the question. Patches of moonlight covered half of her face, making him unable to read any kind of emotion from her.

"I don't know..." she said slowly. "It must be one of those things you can't explain."

"Try."

"Well, part of it is the intrigue... I never know that you're going to do, you're so spontaneous. It'll never get boring, and I need that for the natural born prude that I am."

James chuckled.

"Part of it is that at the heart of everything, you really are the good guy. You always mean well, at least.

"Part of it is that you seem like just a big child. You're all goofy and sweet. It's adorable.

"And perhaps the biggest part is that you loved me. You loved me so persistently for so long amidst at least hundreds of rejections. You wore me down." Lily smiled. "I believe the scientific term would be 'erosion'."

"Leave it to you to get all technical. Call it what it is. I melted your heart." James smiled his reluctantly charming, lopsided grin.

"Leave it to you to get all sentimental."

James' smile grew wider. He reached for Lily's hand and massaged it lightly. He maintained eye contact as he kissed the back of her hand briefly. He felt warm and tingly inside. The next sentence shattered his world.

"James, I do believe I have cold feet."

He was literally stunned into submission. His insides froze and his heart broke. Lily's visage was one of uncertainty.

"From talking to you out here for so long..."

"I _knew _it," he interrupted, "In that amount of time I convinced you that I'm a complete git..."

Lily pressed her index finger to his lips, successfully shushing him.

"No, I meant, standing out here at night with not even a shoe or slipper..."

James' eyes dropped to the ground to take in Lily's bare feet. Realization dawned.

"Cold feet."

She nodded.

"That was_ not_ funny."

Lily stuck out her tongue. Oh he was wrong, that was the funniest thing in the world.

"I'll get you for that, Evans!" He grabbed her and had no trouble getting her pinned to the ground. More giggling came from inside. He lowered his face and their lips met in a kiss so intense that for that fleeting moment, they could thing of nothing but being there in that very moment. Time stood still; sound was muted. They never wanted to part, but part they did when Lily roughly shoved James off of her and stared him squarely in the eye.

"My name," she said sternly, "is Potter."

James seemed to inflate with each passing second. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you, too," Lily whispered, "but about that cold feet thing..."

"Mhm?"

"I really need to get inside."

"Oh, of course, dear." James jumped up and cradled Lily in his arms. He carried her to the threshold where he was received by the same bunch of giggling girls. She was dragged away and James was left unceremoniously on his can outside the door. He didn't mind, though. He made his way home with a new bounce to his step that seemed to have him floating on air.

When he reached his destination, he found Remus was still the only one awake, but only just so. Remus' eyes drooped with the need for sleep.

"All better?" he yawned.

James smiled warmly; sleep finally coming to claim him. "All better."


	7. Oneshot 6: A complete life

A complete life

Oneshot #6

By: MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus

She stands before the mirror, light and airily staring at her own reflection. She turns slightly to the left, then the right. Then pauses. Engulfed around her slim body is a bright white dress. It's her wedding day. The day she has been waiting for since she was a young girl with a huge heart. She has waited long enough to give her heart, soul and name away. She is ready to start a new life with the love of her life.

He hasn't always been the love of her life. In actuality, out of the nine years of knowing him, only three of them held positive relationships between the two. Now, though easier to admit, it is harder to understand why she hated him all those years. There was something about his lopsided smile that she hated then but melts at now. There was something about his untidy black hair that drove her mad then but warms her heart now. There was something about his personality that made her feel like he was arrogant and thickheaded that she now sees as a beautiful and appreciative love for life. He has given her so much but the thing she loves most is that he gives her a life. A life worth living.

So long before now she did not know how to live. Sure, she has past experiences; she has her own history of events that rival anyone's. But now she knows how to live. And from gaining this knowledge and this ability to live, she has also gained the most important thing in her life.

A soft knock comes from a door behind her. She turns slowly to see the peering eyes. "'Lo, love," comes the tender voice of her father. "Are you ready?"

Without hesitation, she nods, tears welling in her emerald-green eyes. She was completely ready to begin her life. "I am."

She turns back to look in the mirror. One last time an unmarried woman, one last glance at an incomplete person who was about to become whole.

Her almond eyes were soft and bulging with welling tears that were begging to fall. A small smile was traceable on her lips and as she stared, she took a deep intake of breath. Slowly turning to the beautiful bouquet of flowers and placing them softly to her stomach, she took one step toward her father: one step closer to her beautiful fate.

She knows there are risks. Of course there are. With all great things in life, there are possibilities: some good, some bad. But for him, for James Harold Potter, Lily Evans would face them, standing strong by his side and never look back.

Her father took her hand in his, lovingly looking into emerald eyes that mirrored his own. He slowly led her down the hallway, toward big oak doors. As she approached, music began to play. Then she saw him.

Tall and thin, with that same lopsided grin on his face, hair as untidy as ever, and eyes as bright as she'd ever seen. Her father paced beside her, smiling the broadest smile. When they reached the end of the aisle, James took a step forward, extending his hand - the hand she had grown to love, the hand she has held through many tragedies. Her father guided her own hand into his, and her heart fluttered in her chest. In an abrupt moment, the tears that had welled in her eyes fell. In a flood-like gush, her face was covered in water, despite the enormous smile plastered upon her lips. James leaned down to kiss her, his thumbs rubbing the water off each side of her face.

Leaning more closely, brushing her ear with his lips, he spoke, "Even tears can't mask your beauty."

"I can't help it," she whispered back to him, "I'm so happy."

A smile erupted onto his lips and his arms flew around her, clutching her close to him. A moment later, James let go and they turned toward the preacher. Lily held her breath and closed her eyes, listening to the preacher and his prayers for them. She knew in her heart, in times such as these - times filled with the troubles and the fears - prayers were needed. But even deeper in her heart she knew that nothing in the world could stop her from being with James.

What had once been a loathing relationship, full of hatred and bickering, blossomed into a beautiful love that had given her a fresh breath of life. With James all was possible. With James, she was complete. And nothing, not even Voldemort, could change the love she held for the man she was about to share a life with.


	8. Oneshot 7: Too Late

Too Late

Oneshot #7

By: XxStephXx

She was too late. She had lost her chance. He had moved on, he had a girlfriend, and Lily Evans was in despair. For years, James Potter had chased her and asked her out constantly, and she had always rejected him. They had become Head Students together and were now friends, and then James had stopped annoying her and asking her out. Then, right when she realized she was hopelessly in love with him, he went and got a girlfriend.

Three weeks before, Lily had finally admitted out loud, to her best friend Alice, that she was in love with James. That same day she heard he was going out with Rachel Burke, and when she asked him about it he said it was true.

"I hate him!" Lily announced, as she slammed her dormitory door.

"Who? James?" said Alice, who had been sitting in Lily's swivel chair, flipping through the latest issue of _Witch Weekly_. "What did he do now?"

"He is down there with her, pawing each other on the sofa," said Lily, grabbing her pillow and throwing it at the door.

"Will you just tell him you like him? Do us all a favor," said Alice for the fiftieth time. She was growing thoroughly tired of hearing Lily talk about James and Rachel.

"No, he has a girlfriend now," Lily insisted, pushing the image of James and Rachel connected by the lips out of her head. "I just have to get over him. You know… forget that I love him."

"Yeah, let me know how that works for you," said Alice sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she scanned an article about healthy hair.

"I can get over him," insisted Lily.

"Sure you can," Alice said with an amused smile.

"I can and I am. I am over him and now… now…"

"That sure was quick," said Alice, not believing Lily for a second.

"Now I want to date… a Ravenclaw… yes, that is a splendid idea," said Lily furious that Alice was so unbelieving almost like she was mocking her.

"Give it up and just talk to James," said Alice, rolling her eyes at Lily.

"NO! I am totally over James Bloody Potter. I'm off to find a nice Ravenclaw to snog, don't wait up," said Lily, storming out of the dormitory.

"Oh Merlin, she has really lost it this time," Alice said to the now empty room. "Why do I have to live with a loon?"

------------------------------------------------

James was doing the Head patrols himself that night, since Lily hadn't shown up. It wasn't that unusual; sometimes she preferred to patrol herself or with a prefect. So James was wandering around the castle himself, making sure everyone was in their common room. He was on the fourth floor, when he heard a noise in one of the classrooms it sounded like someone had dropped something. He knew people used the classrooms to fool around at night, and interrupting them was not a perk of being a Head student. But James knew he had to walk in and dock points, otherwise Lily would lecture him on being too soft again.

He opened the door and the nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. Amos Diggory had his hands and mouth all over his Lily. It took a few seconds for Lily to realize that they weren't alone.

"James!" she gasped, pushing Amos away so hard he fell on his arse.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Get back to your Common Rooms!" said James coldly, not even being able to look at Lily.

"James let me…" tried Lily.

"I said get back to your Common Rooms or I'll give you both detentions. Separate detentions," he said and then he fled.

"James! James! Please stop," Lily called as she ran after him.

"What?" said James, stopping and letting Lily catch up to him.

"Let me explain…" she panted.

"Why? Who you… it's none of my business and it's not like I've never ditched rounds for a little bit of fun. I just… thought you had better taste that's all," said James, every word leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

"James, please stop looking at me like that," whispered Lily. It wasn't the way he was looking at her, it was more like he wouldn't look at her face and he just had a disgusted look on his face and she couldn't bear it.

"I'm not looking at you," said James harshly. "I need to finish my rounds, Evans."

He was halfway down the corridor when he heard Lily.

"I love you! I'm so in love with you it's scary," she said. James twirled round and saw Lily standing awkwardly where he had left her, she looking straight at him but he had no idea what to say to her.

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be telling you this, not like this, but I do love you. But you have a girlfriend… I was stupid I thought that… what you saw would make me feel better. But it didn't and now you… say something, James," said Lily desperately. But James stayed silent just looking into the darkness behind her. "At least look at me."

"It's late, I'm going to bed," said James numbly. He had waited so long to hear Lily say that, and now that she had he didn't know what to say or even feel. Especially after what he had just seen, he didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry," said Lily pathetically as she watched him leave.

-------------------------------------------------------

A WEEK LATER

James still hadn't so much as looked at Lily, let alone speak to her. She just stayed out of his way. She walked into the Common Room after rounds. It was late, so she didn't expect anyone to be there. But she was wrong, and the first thing she saw was James sitting on the armchair next to the fire, with Rachel in his lap cuddling into him. She knew she had no right to be upset but just the sight of the two of them being so comfortable and loved up brought tears to her eyes.

"Goodnight, Lily," said Rachel. They weren't great friends but they were in the same years and had spoken on occasion.

"Night," Lily choked out.

But what neither Rachel nor Lily noticed was James. He had noticed the look on Lily's face and the tears in her eyes; he had watched her all the way up the stairs. He felt awful, he never knew she cared that much. He had convinced himself that Lily wasn't in love with him. She just thought she did and he didn't want to be hurt by her anymore, especially if it would just be a fling to her.

Around 2 am James couldn't sleep, so he got up and pulled out the Marauder's Map. One dot stood out from all the others, mainly because of who it was. Lily Evans was out on the Quidditch Pitch, alone in the middle of the night. James only hesitated for a second before making his way out to the Quidditch Pitch.

He was standing on the edge of the pitch, and she was lying right in the middle. Then he heard her, she was crying. She was really crying, seriously loud heartbreaking sobs. He all but ran over to her, he was standing over her before he said anything.

"Lily… what are you doing out here?" he hadn't meant for it to sound like he was angry, but somehow it did.

"I'm a Head student too, I don't have to be in by curfew," said Lily harshly, trying to wipe her face. It was dark maybe he wouldn't notice that she had been crying.

"It's two in the morning; you are in the middle of the Quidditch pitch. Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"

"Like you care."

"I don't want someone to hurt you," said James, his voice softening.

"No, that job is reserved for you," said Lily, then she ran off into the locker room, hoping to find a way back into the castle. She had heard a rumor that there was a tunnel to the Great Hall from it. James chased after her, and reached the door of the locker room before she did.

"Lily…"

"Leave me alone. Seriously, just go back to your girlfriend and leave me alone… you don't have to act like you care anymore," shouted Lily, trying to get past him, but he wouldn't let her.

"Lily…"

"What? What do you possibly have to say to me?" she screamed. "You haven't said a word to me since I told you I loved you. You can't even look at me."

"Lily…" said James, struggling to get his words out. There was something about Lily that made him so mad sometimes.

"What?"

"Damn it… just shut up," he said exasperated.

He twirled her round and pushed her against the locker room door. He leaned down and captured her lips with his. It took her a few seconds to realize what was happening; as soon as she did she responded feeling chills up and down her spine. He pinned her to the door by her wrists and caressed the side of her face as he kissed her tenderly. He only pulled away when oxygen became an issue.

"I… don't…" whispered Lily, looking up at him, asking for answers. James leaned in and started to kiss her again, this time she pulled away quickly.

"James… what are you doing?"

"You… you make me so mad sometimes… you're annoying, stubborn, persistent and for someone so smart in the classroom you are damn stupid at times," said James, still keeping a firm hold of her hands so she couldn't get away. "You don't think before you act, you don't think about the consequences of your actions. You lie in the middle of the Quidditch pitch during the night when there is a war going on. You made out with Diggory. You infuriate me more than any other person on this planet…"

"I get it…" Lily interrupted.

"No you don't," said James, holding her chin so she had to look at him.

"I'm an idiot; now tell me something I don't already know."

"I love you. I don't care about the rest of it. I love you," said James, looking Lily dead in the eye.

"But when I… you…"

"I was shocked… I saw you and… but tonight, did I make you cry?"

"Yes… but it wasn't your fault," said Lily. James just sighed heavily and pressed his forehead against hers.

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault."

"It was. I've been such an idiot. You don't chase a girl for six years, fall in love with her and then right when she says what you've been waiting to hear decide to pretend she doesn't exist. That was unforgivable and I'm sorry," said James sincerely.

"And I'm sorry for everything I ever did to hurt you. Turning you down for all those years, Diggory… everything."

"All forgotten," smiled James. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Well now that we've cleared that up, do I get to kiss you again?" grinned James.

"If you dump your girlfriend, I'll certainly consider it," said Lily mischievously, then she lifted James' hands off her and walked away. James was too surprised to stop her.


	9. Oneshot 8: Through the windowpane

Through the windowpane

Oneshot #8

By: elenwyn

He knows he shouldn't watch her while she's sleeping.

He knows his friends, if they were around, which, thankfully, at the moment they aren't, would nudge him sharply in the stomach or elbow and tell him to stop acting like a stalker and leave her alone.

He knows that they're only supposed to be friends, the two of them. They'd spent the entirety of the journey back home laughing and drawing absurd little doodles on the window panes of the carriage, their breath mixing together as they turned the glass cloudy. But he can't help but feel a sense of longing that starts within his heart and pulsates around his body along with the blood in his veins when he's close to her.

The small flower that she drew is still standing solitary among the smudged handprints on the glass, her head resting just below it as she slumbers on. He smiles as he takes in the gold and red coloured hat that she pulled over her head just before they boarded the train, complaining that her ears were too cold despite it being the middle of June and quite warm. Her hair is loose and red and curled in tendrils at the ends, framing her petite face and slightly flushed cheeks.

Quietly, he moves from sitting opposite her to sitting next to her, knowing her best friend will be annoyed at the stolen spot when she comes looking for them both. He puts one arm around her shoulder and her body subconsciously turns towards him, and he revels in the intimacy of the moment.

Slowly, she stirs and her eyes open, and he watches as the pupils that are engulfed by her entrancing emerald eyes dilate and then widen as she takes in her surroundings, blushing an endearing shade of pink as she removes her head from his chest.

"Sorry," she mumbles, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

He shrugs nonchalantly, smiling again at her awkwardness, "S'lright. We're almost at the station."

"Oh," she returns the smile, a sleepy one as she rubs her eyes with a dainty, ivory hand. Then she bites her lip and he knows she is remembering something, because he knows every little thing about her, another quality that his friends would find stalker-like.

He raises an eyebrow as he watches her rummage around in her coat pocket for something or another. She emerges with a black biro in her hand and smiles jauntily at him and he feels his heart skip a beat.

"You wanted my address," she explains, "Hold out your hand. I haven't got a piece of paper."

So he watches as she scribbles her address down hastily; the train's whistle has just sounded, piercing and loud, and he feels as though the ink written on his hand, written in her hand, will never wash away, just as the imprints she has made on his heart will never fade.

And then he knows that next year, he won't watch her anymore. He'll try, for one last time, to ensnare her heart as she has already done with his.

Little does he know that he already has.


	10. Oneshot 9: Angst is a Girl’s Best Friend

Angst is a Girl's Best Friend

Oneshot #9

By: SuperSpy

Sitting in potions that afternoon was, quite literally, hell for me.

There was James Potter, a row in front of me, and slightly off to my left so that I got a glimpse of his profile. His very attractive profile.

It was his fault, really, that I couldn't focus, and so full of all this bloody angst. It was all because of Transfiguration.

-

"_Shame on you, Potter, you used to be good at Transfiguration," I playfully scolded, smirking at the T he had gotten on his latest essay._

"_Aw, come on love, give a guy a break. I got an O on the one before this."_

_He was smiling at me as he ran a hand through his hair._

-

Damn him and his bloody hair. It was longer than normal, and it was wavy and dark, almost jet black.

Ebony.

Him and his bloody ebony hair that looked so soft and so touchable that you would give just about anything to run your hands through it. I growled under my breath, glaring at his glorious full head of hair, all the while carelessly dumping ingredients into my cauldron.

-

_I frowned._

"_Don't call me 'love'."_

-

It had killed me to tell him that, although I hadn't shown it. As far as the general public was concerned, Lily Evans would not allow James Potter to call her pet names.

But on the inside, I was a gooey puddle of my former self. The way the word rolled so easily off his tongue, and his hazel eyes sparkled in that way that makes it seem like all he ever sees is you…

But what would people say if they knew that now, suddenly, I fancied James?

What would my friends say?

Well, Alice would just laugh, and wish me luck…but Chelsea….Chelsea would yell and scream and tell me I was a hypocrite and that I would get my heart broken.

And she'd probably tell me that I deserved to have my heart broken.

That I was asking for it, dating a supposed play-boy like James Potter.

-

"_You know," he said, coming closer and placing a hand on my shoulder, "We should date."_

_I scrunched up my nose, "Why?"_

_And then the bell rang, and I left._

-

In truth I had pretty much bolted. And now I sat behind him, the amazingly handsome James Potter, and I stared at the back of his head. I stared at the back of his head when I really should have been working on concocting some stupid potion.

But no, I was consumed by thoughts of Potter.

James had changed a lot over the years. Sure he flirted with lots of girls, but it was always just friendly. He hadn't dated anyone for a while now. And he was always nice to me. And he wasn't torturing Snape as much anymore.

He had some how wormed his way into my heart, and now I couldn't get him out of my head either.

My eyes roamed over his body, his broad shoulders, his toned arms and his weathered fingers. The marvelled at the way the hair curled, just so, at the base of his neck. I revelled in the way the light glistened in his incredibly bright hazel eyes. I memorized the curve of his smirk, and the dimple in his left cheek.

It was then that I realized James Potter was staring back at me.

Chelsea made a disgusted face and snapped at him,, "Turn your ugly mug back the other way, Potter."

But he ignored her, his gaze trained steadily on me. I felt my breath catch in my throat and I simply looked back at him, unable to say anything. Chelsea, suddenly aware something strange was happening, stopped what she was doing and stared at the two of us.

"Potter," she said, her voice low, "I told you to turn around."

But instead, James stood and walked over to me. He bent close me, so his face was only inches from mine. I felt my heart speed up. He looked into my eyes, waiting for some sign, and then next thing I knew, he was kissing me.

I heard Chelsea's out raged cry as James pulled me out of my chair. He deepened the kiss, his hands tangled in my red tresses. I raked my hands through his hair, enjoying the sensation of his mouth on mine, coupled with the exhilaration of finally getting to feel the feathery softness of his thick hair.

And then, all too soon, he pulled away, leaving me breathing heavily and yearning once more to feel his hands on me, and his lips pressed against mine.

"That," he said, a slight smirk gracing his features, "is why we should date."


	11. Oneshot 10: A Four letter Word

A Four letter Word

Oneshot #10

By: freak.on.a.leash.13

It was another night of patrolling, and as usual head boy James Potter was tormenting head girl Lily Evans.

"But you _would_ like me if you went out with me." he argues, against her latest rejection that she would not date him because she did not like him.

"I highly doubt that. If anything I'd like you less."

"But Lily, I _love_ you!" he cries dramatically, for effect. He's said it before, and like always it fails to make her believe it.

"And what is _your_ definition of love Potter? A four letter word?" she mocks.

"No, love is what I feel for you, though you do drive me to want to say some other four letter words…." he trails off.

"Say them and I'll give you detention."

"So serious." he mocks. "If its only a four letter word, why don't you just admit you're longing to say it to me."

Lily glares at him, then looks away. He is so persistent, it drives her crazy, and _not_ in a good way as he so claims.

"There's only one four letter word that comes to mind when I think of you."

"Love?"

"Hate." she says spitefully.

James ignores her like she has said nothing.

"Lust?"

"Pain." Lily says warningly.

"Want?"

"Need." she replies.

He looks hopeful so she quickly finishes, "What you want and I need are very different things, you want me to want you, I need you to leave me alone."

James takes it in stride, searching his mind for other four letter words.

"Take."

"Take?"

"As in take me I'm yours."

"You need better material Potter."

"Hope."

"It is all you have." she mutters, sending an annoyed glance his way.

"Wish."

"Let me guess, as in I wish you were mine?"

"How'd you guess?"

"I told you, you need better material."

James considered this a moment before Lily intruded.

"Any other four letter words you want to use to describe how I feel about you, or you feel about me, or whatever it is your going at?"

Where was I at, wish-"

"I have one. Dead." Lily cut in.

"Dead?'

"As in I wish you were dead." she announced.

"Lily." he sounded slightly hurt, she almost felt a tad guilty. Almost.

He caught her arm and spun her around to face him. They were standing very close, but she didn't mind, she had gotten used to it over the years, James had a real problem with personal space.

"Your turn." she said brightly, hoping to get him off track of the wishing he was dead. She didn't want to have to take it back, but if it really had hurt his feelings….

"Long."

Lily was snapped out of her thoughts by that.

"James Potter you better not be attempting to describe certain parts of your anatomy-"

"No," he interrupted, "Long, as in I long for you."

"Wait." Lily replied.

"Wait?"

"As in you'll have a long wait if you're waiting for me to long for you back."

He looked at her moment, studying her face.

"Anything else, or are you through with this silly game?" she snaps.

"Date?"

"Nope." she chirps smiling. That one she really should have seen coming.

James seems momentarily defeated and Lily decides to take advantage.

"Are you done yet? I do realize four letter words are high on your list of vocabulary-"

"Kiss."

That throws her off, and she can't think of a decent comeback for that four letter word. It send a panic through her and she says the only thing that pops into mind.

"Don't."

He is smiling, no _smirking_ down at her, amused by her panic. As if it meant anything. So, she has, upon occasion, thought of what it would be like to kiss him. And has even acted it out in her head, once or twice. But it does not mean she _wants _to kiss him, its only because the idea is so repulsive that she thinks of it.

James steps closer to her, and for a second she thinks he is going to kiss her, and her heart skips a beat. Because she is disgusted, not excited, really.

"Nervous?" James asks, and he sounds so sure of his self, so cocky, she wants to hit him.

"Of course not." she snaps, wondering if he can hear her heart beating in her chest, its so loud.

James leans in closer to her, his lips a breath away from hers. Lily's eyes flutter closed, and she waits. And she waits some more.

"Your call Lily." James says softly.

Great. So its up to her to decide if it happens. She can't say yes, she can't, but she really, _really_, doesn't want to say no. She waits, hoping beyond hope that he will just do it anyway without her comply. She thinks for a moment he is, because he moves, but its away from her not toward her, and her eyes fly open in disappointment.

James must see the disappointment there, because he is smiling at her, in that annoying, knowing way of his. Lily is determined to wipe it off his face, but the angry glare she sends him only has him smiling brighter.

"Go out with me?"

"No." she says stubbornly.

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"Last chance-"

"There's never a last chance with you." she says dryly.

"You know you want to."

"I do not!" she cries, though its clear none of it is sinking in for him.

"This weekend, at Hogsmeade. Come on, say yes." he argues.

"Fine!" she yells frustrated. Only to shout him up, not because she wants to go or anything like that. Only a little. Maybe more than a little. Maybe.

James smiles at her victoriously. It makes her mad, he hasn't won her or anything. No she has not fallen for him the way he always said she would.

"One date Potter. _One. _And it better be worth it." she snaps, brushing past him down the hall.

"Trust me Lily, it'll be worth it."

Lily smiles to herself as she walks. Maybe she doesn't hate James Potter, maybe love is more than a four letter word. Maybe she would have to find out.


	12. Oneshot 11: The First Date

The First Date

Oneshot #11

By: freak.on.a.leash.13

Lily Evans was not panicking because she had nothing to wear. That would be something silly that some love struck little girl did. She was merely throwing all her clothes about the room, unable to decide what to wear.

Not that she wanted to look good for James Potter. He was James Potter, he could take her as she was. Just because she was going on a date with him, did not mean she actually liked him. Much.

Her best friend told her she was in denial. She denied being in denial, then proceeded to deny that she was in denial about being in denial. To say the least, by the end of the conversation, Lily's friend had been very confused.

As was Lily. Why had she said yes to James again? A moment of weakness, that was all. Sure, he could be charming, and witty, and attractive, and completely likeable……….no, wait he could not. Her denial was a very good friend now, one she wouldn't be letting go of soon. Or so she hoped.

She had agreed to meet James at Hogsmeade, at least that way the whole school wouldn't know they were on a date. However the whole school did know. As was proof of several girls from Gryfinndor asking was it true, were her and James really a couple. Lily had told them all no, and they shouldn't be spreading rumors. That only seemed to fuel the fire.

Arriving at Hogsmeade, at the Three Broomsticks where her and James were supposed to meet, she noticed he was not there. Which was fine with her, really, because it was an excuse not to go, no she was not the least bit disappointed.

But maybe she should find out where he is anyway. Only to fuss him out for not showing up. Not to give him a chance to explain.

The best place to look would be with his friends. She approached Remus first, who was chatting with Peter over butterbeers.

"Have you seen James?, we had a-meeting, and he didn't show."

"You mean your date?" Peter asked.

"Keep it down, there are enough rumors flying around, who did he tell the whole school?"

"No, but he did tell Sirius and that's almost as bad." Remus replied.

"Great. Do you know where he is?"

Both boys said no, and Remus advised her to ask Sirius.

Lily was willing to take this advice, until she found Sirius, who had a blonde Hufflepuff entwined around him. Lily hated to break it up, but she did need to find James…

"Sirius." she said politely, hoping he was surface. Although, he seemed to not need much air, as he wasn't listening, or to far involved to hear.

"Sirius." she says a little louder.

"Sirius!"

That causes him to jump, and he breaks away from his date, looking up at her. The girl is glaring at her, and Lily sends her an annoyed glance. As if that girl she be mad at her, she should be grateful, she looked like a -well not like a nice girl making out in public that way.

"Do you know where James is?"

"He said he was meeting you."

"He wasn't there." Lily answered, going red. She would _kill_ James, she would.

"Oh, right. He got in a bit of trouble, so he might be a little late."

"What sort of trouble?" Lily said darkly.

"Nothing important, just you know, he had to talk his way out of a detention, I was supposed to tell you, but I forgot-"

"Obviously." lily says dryly looking at the girl.

Sirius looked at her, a guilty look passing his face.

"Well, I'm going to go find James, have fun. Oh, and Sirius, you do know she's only a fourth year."

"You told me you were a sixth year!"

"Err-"

Lily leaves, deciding that's one conversation she doesn't want to hear. She makes it back to the Three Broomsticks, to see James panting, hands on knees waiting for her.

"You're late!" she cries, glaring at him.

"I had to ah-"

"Talk your way out of detention?" she finishes.

"Er- no. I had to do my detention, and sneak out here. Its not easy you know, good thing I have my cloak-"

"What?! You snuck out here?!"

"Calm down Lily, nobody knows, its not that bad."

"Its against the rules!"

"But I broke them to see you, for you."

"If you cared so much for me, you wouldn't have gotten detention the day of our date!"

"It wasn't my fault, really, it was Sirius's idea, me and Peter just went along."

"What idea?"

"Nothing."

"James-"

"It doesn't matter, I got caught and they didn't so I got detention."

Lily glares at him a moment, and decides since he did come all this way, on foot, just to see her, she could forgive him just this once.

"Okay. Where are we going?" she replies, and he looks stunned, as if he expected more of a struggle.

"How'd you know about my detention anyway?"

"Sirius. He told me you wanted him to tell me."

"Yes, but he was supposed to make it sound better."

"I'm sure he would if he had the time, but I found him and interrupted-things-and he told me."

"Interrupted what?"

"Things you and I won't be doing on our date."

James looks a tad disappointed, and Lily smiles. Not because she wants him to want to kiss her. No, she does not. She needed her denial.

James is looking at her, and seeming to struggle to know what to say. Suddenly a thought hits Lily and she laughs.

"Potter, are you _nervous_?"

"No, I'm not-" he starts to deny.

"Its sweet." she adds.

"I'm nervous, terribly nervous. Do you want to hold my hand to make me feel better?"

Lily rolls her eyes.

"I'll take that as a no."

"Where are you taking me? The Three Broomsticks isn't very romantic."

"It's a surprise." James declares.

"You don't know where you're taking me do you?"

"I do. It's just, it was hard to plan, with being in detention and all."

"Excuses, excuses."

"Wait here just a minute." James says suddenly.

Lily waits, and a few minutes later James grabs her hand and is dragging her toward a secluded area, outside Hogsmeade.

"James, we can't leave, we'll be in trouble! James give me back my hand!"

James turns and looks at her.

"You play by the rules far to often. Rules are meant to be broken love."

"Don't call me love."

"Yes dear."

"James!"

They finally arrive at the spot James was taking her to. It is a secluded area, a tree beside a small pond. It has a fairly romantic air about it, as if it was meant just for them. Lily can see there is a picnic set up beneath it.

"How did you find this place, its so pretty." she gushes, then she narrows her eyes at him.

"You haven't taken other girls here before?"

James avoids the question, and grabs her hand leading her to the picnic he has set up. It even has candles.

"You didn't answer me."

"Ah-I-I- only a few times."

Lily sits down, staring at him in stony silence.

"None of them were as special as you Lily."

"I suppose you say that to all of them."

"Lily, really, you mean more to me. I never gave anyone else a candle light dinner. Or flowers." he says, flicking his wand and a bouquet appears, and he hands it to Lily.

"There lilies." she says.

"They're your favorite right?"

"Only because my name."

"Right."

Lily sits a minute, thinking if James really has brought only a few girls there before, and telling herself she really doesn't care, when suddenly one the candles tips over, and her robes are caught on fire.

"James!"

He has her robes put out and her lifted to her feet before she can even attempt to find her wand.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I suppose you've never had that happen before?"

"No, that's a first. Are you sure you're fine."

"Yes." she says, noticing how close they are. When he lifted her, he had grabbed her by the waist and his hands are still there, and their bodies practically touching. It makes her nervous, if he noticed what would he do? Would he try to kiss her? Not that she wanted him to, no not at all, maybe once, only once, just to see what its like….

James suddenly notices Lily noticing, and says her name. There is a longing there, a edge of desperation, as if he wanted nothing more in the world than to kiss her. Lily thinks she understands the feeling, because she never wanted to be kissed more badly in her life. Something in her eyes gave her away and James knew without a doubt that he could kiss her.

So he leaned in, closer and closer, until,

"James, do you hear that noise?"

He almost groaned, if that was her excuse then he wasn't about to listen. Besides, it wasn't like her to make excuses, she would have shoved him away by now…

"Does it matter?" he says, pulling her back closer to him, until their lips are almost meeting, then Lily screams.

"Lily calm down! If you didn't want me to kiss you should have just said so!"

"No!, No! Its in my hair!"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Bees!"

James looks up to see a beehive directly above his and Lily's heads.

"Lily, stop screaming, Lily don't swing your arm that way you're gonna-"

But it was too late, Lily had swiped at he bee and hit the hive, sending the whole thing crashing toward the ground.

"James, do something!"

Using magic was pointless, the bees were to quick, so he resorts to swiping at them with his hand, as Lily does the same. Both are backing up, trying to keep away form the bees, when suddenly Lily stumbles, and starts to fall.

She grabs James arm to keep from falling, but since he was to busy with the bees to notice, he only falls with her. Both go crashing into the pond, James hopping up first.

"Lily, Lily where are you?!"

A hand extends from the water and he pulls her up. She stands dripping wet before him and starts laughing.

"Lily, I know this is bad, but I promise my dates usually aren't this awful."

"First I was almost burnt to death, then I was attacked by killer bees, and now I've almost drowned. It was exciting to say the least." she says still laughing.

She doesn't know why she finds it so funny. Its almost as if the cosmos are trying to prove her theory that her and James don't belong together. First he almost missed their date, then they were interrupted right before they could kiss, and now she was soaking wet. It was a horrible disaster, and she is relieved. Relieved that she wasn't woed by the dreaded James Potter, and now she has a good excuse next time he asks her out. Or, maybe not relieved, but at least it goes to show he is normal, and he does have issues as well as anyone else, besides the obvious mental ones.

"I can't believe I stressed over what to wear, and this happens. Do you know I spent all morning trying to chose my outfit?" she confesses, simply because the irony of it.

"You did?" he asks then he is laughing to, because she is and seeing her laugh makes him want to laugh.

"Why?" he says, hoping she will give him the answer he wants to hear.

"I can't tell you, I'm in denial." she says laughing.

"About what?"

"About you."

"You plan on coming out of denial anytime soon?"

"Not unless you force me."

Both look at each other a moment, then James reaches out and grabs her hand pulling her closer to him.

"How can I do that?"

"Well, by-" she starts, then takes her hand out of his and brings her lips an inch form his-and pushes him down.

"I'm sorry, that was just to good to pass up-ahh!" she screams as James pulls her down along with him.

A massive water fight ensues, complete with Lily trying to dunk him. After a few minutes of this, James grabs her pulls her against him. She instinctively wraps her arms around him, though its more due to that he managed to get her under water four times while she only got him once.

It was light and fun, then something changes as they look at each other. Lily doesn't like the shift, suddenly she's feeling nervous again, and her denial can't help her, once you admit you are in denial, its pretty much over.

"Do you realize how ridiculous we must look?" she asks, hoping to retain some of that lightness.

"No ones around to see." he says, still as serious.

Then he is looking at her lips and she is finding it hard to breathe, because she knows he is about to kiss her.

"James, don't."

"Why not?"

"I'm in denial remember?"

"You said I'd have to force you out."

"But-" her words are caught off as he captures her lips with his.

He half expects her to push him off, but she doesn't instead she responds with a fever that surprises him, who knew good girl Lily Evans had it in her? She not only has deepened the kiss, but she has wrapped her legs around his waist. Then she pulls away.

"This is going to fast, I don't even kiss on the first date." she says quickly.

"Lily-" James says laughing at the panic on her face. She has closed her eyes and he can see her mentally talking herself down, Probably some speech about how she is supposed to hate him, etc. He bends down and kisses both of her closed eyes, and the fly open, gazing into his.

"I think I may be losing my mind." she says solemnly.

James laughs again and places a gentle kiss to her lips.

"Why is that?"

"Because, I just kissed you!"

"Yes, I know, I was there, it was nice. If you wanna go again-"

"No!"

"Lily." he says, lifting her so she is standing on her own two feet again.

"Its okay to change your mind about me. I understand you need your denial, but I need _you._"

She looks at him for a second, then smiles.

"You really aren't that bad."

"Glad you finally figured it out."

"Finally? No you were bad before, you've changed, you grew up."

"You inspired me."

"Is that just a line?"

"Lily, I've already got you to agree to go out with me, and managed to kiss you without you causing extensive body harm, do you really think I _need_ to use lines?"

"There's no need to be arrogant Potter."

"Sorry."

"I'll forgive you this time."

"Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you out of denial yet?"

"I'm halfway there." she admits.

"Does that mean you'll go out with me again?" he asks.

"Am I guarantied that it'll be safe?"

"You have my word."

"For what that counts for."

"Lily."

"Yes, I'll go out with you again."

"So, how long until you're completely out of denial?"

"I don't know, maybe you should kiss me again-"

James was all to happy to comply.


	13. Oneshot 12: Never Let Me Go

Never Let Me Go

Oneshot #12

By: Sunlit Days

"Looks like we've finally found something the amazing James Potter can't do after all," teased Lily Evans, as her boyfriend tumbled to the smooth, glassy surface of the skating rink.

James scowled, but his eyes were sparkling. Lily twirled gracefully in a circle, red hair fanning out around her, then extended her gloved hand to help James up.

"I like Quidditch so much better," James mumbled under his breath.

"You can't be good at everything, you know," retorted Lily, still holding onto James's hand. She began to skate a little faster. The cold December air stained her cheeks cherry-blossom pink, and James found himself admiring how beautiful she was. Her lips were curved into a smile that lit up her whole face, and her hair danced around her shoulders. Lily glided across the ice with ease, and with a grace that James didn't know she possessed, as she was somewhat clumsy even on flat, non-slippery surfaces.

"Why are you so good at this?"

"My sister and I used to take lessons when we were younger," replied Lily.

"Well, it obviously didn't help your balance off the ice," muttered James, who had watched Lily trip over her own feet on multiple occasions. He smirked, imagining Lily's sister, Petunia, who he'd just had the misfortune of meeting a few days prior, ice skating.

Lily slowed down and smiled sweetly. "I could let you fall," she warned, trying and failing to sound threatening. "Then we'll see who's talking."

"But you wouldn't."

She let go of his hand and pushed him, but not with enough force to make him fall. James staggered and lost his balance anyway.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "You sure about that?" she giggled.

James held his hand out to her and pulled her down next to him and burst out laughing. Lily glared at him, but she was laughing, too. The sound of their laughter echoed through the chilly winter evening.

The reflection of the glittering city lights shimmered and gleamed on the ice, illuminating the delicate spirals that had been engraved on its surface by the blades of the ice skates. A light flurry of snow was just beginning to fall from the sky. Lily smiled at James, who was drawing closer and closer to her…

His lips grazed against hers, innocently, but full of passion. Lily pressed her lips harder to his, and the kiss deepened, becoming more fervent and heated. James's arm snaked around Lily's waist, drawing their bodies closer together. Neither of them noticed a figure wearing a red and gold scarf coming quickly at them until something heavy landed across their legs. They broke apart, startled.

"Hi, Prongs. Hi, Lily," said Sirius Black cheerfully, apparently unaware that he had just interrupted them, or maybe he just didn't care. He untangled himself from James. Lily's face flushed deep pink.

"What are _you_ doing here?" demanded James.

"Nice to see you, too," muttered Sirius, looking crestfallen as he pondered the idea that someone could actually be unhappy to see him, and even more so when he realized that it was true. He brightened immediately, however when he saw two Muggle girls looking at him with interest and nudging each other.

"You do realize that you're snogging in the middle of an ice rink…"

Lily and James looked up and saw Remus Lupin looking at them with an expression somewhere between amusement and disapproval, an expression he frequently wore when he was round his friends. Lily blushed even more.

"There's hardly anyone here," James pointed out, scowling at his friend. He clearly didn't appreciate being interrupted any more than Lily did. "And it's not the _middle_; that's already taken." He pointed at a couple entwined in the middle of the rink.

"What are you doing here?" asked Lily, repeating James's question with a bit less hostility.

"Well, we've never been ice skating before…" began Sirius.

"And you had to pick _tonight_, when you knew we'd be here?" said James incredulously.

Sirius grinned sheepishly. James swatted him on the back of the head.

"Where's Peter?" inquired Lily, more to distract Sirius from hitting James back than anything else—she still hadn't quite warmed to Peter, despite the fact that he was one of James's best friends. He seemed sweet, but there was something about him that bothered her, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. But she knew that if Remus and Sirius were here, Peter had to be around somewhere.

Sirius indicated the side of the skating rink, where Peter was holding a steaming Styrofoam cup of hot chocolate. "He doesn't ice skate," he explained.

Lily tried to get rid of the bad metal image of Peter ice skating, then realized that her jeans were soaked through from sitting on the ice for so long. She stood up, grateful and somewhat surprised that she hadn't actually frozen to the ice. James was glaring at Sirius, who Remus quickly hauled to his feet.

"So you came to spy on us?" muttered Lily to Remus, laughing.

"_He_ came to spy on you," Remus corrected her.

"Next time, at least try to be a little more subtle," said Lily, rolling her eyes and trying not to laugh as James attempted to stand up. Remus and Sirius didn't bother to hide their laughter. After a moment, Lily took pity on him and helped him up. "Falling on top of someone isn't exactly the best way to stay undercover."

"So we've finally found the one thing James _can't_ do," said Sirius, ignoring her comment. "Congratulations, Lily."

Lily pretended to bow. James attempted to hit Sirius again, but lost his balance and almost toppled over onto a small boy who was skating past.

"Let's take a break," suggested Lily, as Sirius managed to steady James, and Remus apologized profusely to the terrified boy.

As they skated off the rink after Remus and Sirius, James grabbed Lily's hand. She turned around, smiling at him as they lingered behind their friends.

"Promise me you'll never let me go," James whispered, suddenly serious.

Lily wasn't sure if he was just referring to ice skating. "I promise," she murmured.

James put his arm around her and pulled her closer, lips brushing against hers.

And this time, no one interrupted them.


	14. Oneshot 13: Green

Green

Oneshot #13

By: Sunlit Days

You know you've fallen way too hard for a guy when you notice that he wears green boxers every day of the week. (A different pair each day, obviously.) And you know you've gone completely over the edge when you notice that the green boxers accent the green flecks in his gorgeous hazel eyes.

I've gone completely over the edge.

Some days, I'd really like to shove James Potter against a wall and kiss him until I can't breathe. But I don't have enough confidence or courage to do that, and according to my best friend Alice, I need to learn to take initiative.

It's not like I'm _trying_ to see what color boxers he's wearing, though. It's not my fault he wears his pants around his hips, and that his boxers peek out from above his waistband. And when you stare at a guy more than what should be considered normal, you're bound to notice those things. It's Alice's fault for pointing it out to me in the first place. Green's become my new favorite color. I smile whenever I see something green—it reminds me of him.

"Lily." Alice is waving her hand in front of my face. I must be wearing my thinking-about-James-Potter expression.

"Should I be worried about how I'm thinking about how nicely his boxers match his eyes?"

Alice stares at me for a moment, then bursts out laughing. "You really _should_ do your shoving him up against the wall and kissing him thing."

I don't reply to that, because James has just walked into the room, and he's wearing a green shirt. Not only does it bring out the green in his eyes, but it does a nice job showing off his lovely Quidditch-toned muscles. His lips also look fuller and more kissable, but that's probably just me. I can see his boxers, too, and like usual, they're green.

"Lily's having dirty fantasies," mutters Alice.

I swat her arm. "No, I'm not! Look at his eyes; doesn't the green make them look pretty?"

Alice hits her head on the table. "Whatever you say, Lily."

James sprawls out in one of the soft chairs that you sink into by the windows. Dazzling sunlight pours in through the gleaming windows, shining over him like a spotlight. His eyelashes look like they've been dipped in golden sunlight, and his hair seems to have been highlighted with a blend of sunbeams and shadows. I think I'm drooling a little bit just from looking at him. I'm like one of those dogs that starts to salivate when it hears the bell that signals dinner. I can't even hear his name without perking up. It's pathetic.

"You're doing it again." Alice's voice cuts through my daydreams that involve James in those green boxers and not much else.

"Doing what?"

"The thing where you start staring into space—actually, you're staring at _him_—and I have a feeling you really _are_ having dirty fantasies."

I snatch the first book I can reach and hold it in front of my face as James opens his eyes and gives Alice a really strange look. I kick her under the table as his eyes fall on me, and the corners of his mouth twitch, hiding a smile.

"_Nice_, Lily," Alice says, laughing as she turns my book right side up. I bury my face in my hands.

"He must think I'm so stupid," I groan.

"I'd worry more about how you're matching his boxers to his eyes."

"Says the girl who pointed it out to me in the first place," I retort.

"Well, it's not _my_ fault he wears his pants so low that his stupid boxers are hanging out," she defends herself. "And I didn't point out that his boxers match his eyes, I just told you that he had green boxers, which was stupid of me. You were the one that noticed that he wears them every day."

"I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't pointed it out in the first place."

"Yes, you would have; you stare at him so much that it's unhealthy for you."

I can't even think of a reply to this—I know it's true.

"Take _initiative,_ Lily. Whatever you're hoping for isn't going to happen unless you do something."

"As much as I'd love to, I'm not shoving him up against a wall."

"That's not what I meant. Come on. Get up and go talk to him or something." Alice starts to pull me out of my seat.

"Not now. I'll do it later."

"That's the third time this week you've told me that," Alice points out.

That means it's not going to happen. When it comes to James, I have a bad habit of procrastinating and never actually doing what I said I'd do. I know I have to take initiative in order for anything to happen, but whenever he's around, my brain shuts down and I forget how to talk. I'm always telling Alice she needs to have courage, but really, I'm not much better. It's impossible to figure James out. Sometimes I think he likes me; other days I think he hates me. And on the days he asks me out—which he hasn't done in awhile—I wonder if he's only doing it because I'm a challenge to him and he wants to see how long it takes me to fall for his charms.

What he doesn't know is that he's already tripped me, and I _am_ falling, but it doesn't look like he's going to be there to catch me.

--

Until the day a few months ago when Alice figured it out with her insanely scary _intuition skills,_ I was still in complete denial about liking James. I refused to admit it to myself, telling myself that I was letting him win the battle we've been fighting since our first year. We're both fighters—there's no way either of us would willingly let the other win. Unfortunately, I've come to realize that my heart is always going to win over my head. I guess love defies all logic.

I wonder if he knows the effect he has on me, and maybe that's why he always has that look on his face when he sees me—that half-hidden smile, with his eyes gleaming with laughter. He probably knows that whenever he walks into the room, my hearts starts beating faster, and there's a fluttery feeling in my stomach. He can see the blush that stains my cheeks when his eyes meet mine for a brief moment, and he hears the silence that swells between us when my brain stops functioning properly because of him. Sometimes, when we're accidentally close enough, I notice how good he smells, and it's as if I'm drunk for several fleeting seconds. Like Alice tells me, this obsession with James Potter really can't be good for my health.

Alice elbows me in the ribs and I come back to earth as Professor Slughorn waddles into the dank, gloomy classroom. There's already a cauldron of boiling liquid over the dancing flames at the front of the room, and a misty, dreamy vapor rises from the shimmering potion. The surface catches the light of the candles now being lit, winking like diamonds. From my seat, I can see James perfectly. I'm secretly hoping that Slughorn assigns partners today, so that I might get to work with James, but knowing my luck, I'll end up with Sirius, who'd rather focus on flirting than actually doing any work—he's amazingly smart, but he has no work ethic.

So of course since I'm hoping that he'll assign partners, he lets us pick who we want to work with. Alice immediately pairs off with our friend Marlene, leaving me by myself. I glare at her as she hisses the word "initiative" at me. Instead of approaching James like she's obviously hoping, I ask Remus to work with me instead, even though he's terrible at Potions. I'm friends with him, though, so working with him is normal, whereas working with James isn't, because as far as everyone else is concerned, I still hate him. And if I supposedly hate him, it would be out of character for me to ask him to work with me. I make a mental note to use this reasoning on Alice when she yells at me later for not taking initiative. I already know what she'll say, though—if I don't take initiative, _he'll_ think I hate him, too.

I laugh at the expression on Alice's face when she sees that I'm not working with James. James and Sirius are both watching Remus, frowning slightly, and when they turn to me, they're glaring. I'm really tempted to hide my face behind my hair—I can't stand being looked at like that—but I remind myself to ignore them and have confidence, since Alice isn't near enough to say it herself.

I manage to get through the rest of the class without being murdered by the expressions on the faces of James, Sirius, or Alice, but if looks could kill, I'd have died three times. I stand behind James as he shuffles out of the classroom (according to Alice, he walks slowly, but he beat me to the door, so I guess I'm slower), and pick up the sheets of parchment he's dropping.

"James, you dropped these."

He stops and takes the ink-smudged notes from me. "Thanks," he says, smiling. My heart skips a beat as his hand brushes against mine, and that smile makes me feel like I'm melting.

"Alice!" I shout down the hall once James has joined his friends.

She turns around, blonde hair whipping around her shoulders. "Way to take initiative, Lily," she says sarcastically.

"I just did, actually," I reply. I tell her what just happened.

"That doesn't count." She's laughing at me now.

"Yes, it does. I could have just left his stuff there. And I talked to him."

Alice is still laughing.

"_What? _What am I supposed to say to him?" I demand as we reach the common room and give the Fat Lady the password.

"I don't know. Maybe 'I like what's under your pants'?" Alice suggests.

Now I'm the one laughing. "Do you _really_ think I'd say that to him?"

"Well, you _are _obsessed with his green boxers. I wonder if he'd be obsessed with your underwear if he found out what color it is." Alice slides her bag off her shoulder and flings it to the ground, then takes a seat in her usual chair. "Oh, _please_ tell me you didn't go out and buy green underwear."

"No." I sit down, too, and attempt to organize the contents of my bag, which is going to rip any day now with the amount of stuff I've been carrying around.

Alice coughs and raises her eyebrows at me. "And why don't I believe that?"

"Well, if you're going to attempt to find out, I'd greatly appreciate if you don't do it here, and wait until we're not in a public place, in which case I'll simply avoid you for the rest of my life."

"So you did," Alice concludes.

"No, I didn't say that; I just said—"

"Well, you _meant_ it. I think we should keep you away from green things forever."

"No, I read that green's a calming color or something. I could go insane from not seeing it," I protest.

"Lily, you already _are_ insane, you don't have to worry about that. And personally, I don't find Slytherins calming."

"Slytherins aren't green."

"It's their color, Lily," Alice sighs.

"I know, but that doesn't matter. They're not the only ones who wear green. James wears green boxers; I find that calming."

"I find that you find that calming somewhat twisted and disturbing."

"I just heard two of my favorite words," announces Sirius as he throws himself into a nearby chair.

"What, _sex _and _girls_? Sorry, you must have misheard us."

He rolls his eyes at me. "Clever, Lily. I was actually referring to _twisted_ and _disturbing_."

I can't tell if he's joking or not. "Yeah, we were talking about you," I quip.

Sirius juts out his lower lip.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" I ask.

"It's my common room, too. Actually, I wanted to ask you something. What's with you and Remus?"

I can't help laughing at the question. "What's going on with us? Nothing. Why?"

Sirius shrugs. "You seem awfully friendly towards him. And I know there are people who wouldn't be too happy about that."

"We're just friends," I assure him. "Haven't you ever heard of platonic friendship?" I realize that I'm talking to Sirius Black; obviously he hasn't.

He seems satisfied with my answer, though, because he gets up to join James, who's talking to Frank Longbottom, Alice's boyfriend. I'm distracted for a moment by James's green striped boxers. Alice hits me with her Charms book.

"_Ow!_"

"That's not healthy for you. You're obsessed with his _boxers._"

"Hitting me isn't exactly healthy, either," I retort.

"Someday, he's going to catch you staring at him," Alice warns.

I know she's right, and I can imagine how stupid I'd look in that situation. I can see the whole thing playing out in my head.

"You have that look on your face again," Alice tells me when my brain's wandered off into a fantasy in which James is kissing me.

I groan and put my face in my hands. People used to tell me that I was difficult to read, but now everyone can figure out exactly what I'm thinking. James probably can, too. And that's probably why he's always laughing when I'm around—because I'm hopelessly in love with him and it's written on my face for everyone to see.

--

Professor McGonagall taps her quill impatiently on her desk, sighing. We've been waiting for James for the past ten minutes, and we can't have a Prefects' meeting without the Head Boy.

"I'll go look for him," I finally volunteer.

Professor McGonagall nods. "Thank you, Miss Evans."

I exit her classroom, knowing that James would never purposely skip a Prefects' meeting. He's never been very responsible, in my opinion, but even James has enough common sense to know that missing a Prefects' meeting is a bad idea.

When I don't see him in the common room, I go upstairs to his dormitory and knock on the door. He probably forgot and overslept of something. It is, after all, a Saturday morning.

I'm not prepared for what I see when the door opens. James is standing there in what I assume are his pajamas, unless he's in the process of getting dressed—green boxers with a diamond pattern, and nothing else. He has really lovely muscles from all those years of Quidditch, I notice. My brain shuts down.

"Nice boxers," I blurt out, then blush. Alice is going to die laughing when she hears about this. At least it's better than _I like what's under your pants_, but it's not much of an improvement. "Green's my favorite color."

James glances down and laughs. "Me, too."

I think I'm having a heart attack. I've always imagined that his Quidditch muscles would be nice, but I didn't expect _this_. His chest is perfectly carved and chiseled. All those workouts and practices have really paid off.

"Uhhh…" is all I can manage to get out. I clear my throat. "Sorry, I think my brain kind of shut down." I can hear Alice's voice in my head, yelling at me to shut up.

"Yeah, I seem to have that effect on girls," James jokes.

This time I can hear Sirius Black's voice in my head, adding, "And some boys."

But I guess it's not in my head; it's real, because Sirius comes out of the bathroom, his dark hair dripping with droplets of water.

James glares at him. "Save it for Remus."

In the past five minutes, I've found out _far _more about the Marauders than I've ever wanted. There's a tube of lubricant on Sirius's nightstand, and I _really _don't want to know what it's been used for. Dirty clothes are strewn all over the room. I look back at James to avoid seeing anything else I'd rather not see, which is a mistake, because my brain shuts down yet again.

"I'm going," says Sirius. He winks at me. "You two have fun."

James groans, and I can feel myself blushing profusely. For some reason, I remember that I'm wearing green underwear, and I'm so glad it's not me in his situation, as I would have probably died of embarrassment. It's even more awkward now that we're alone.

I try to talk, but it comes out as "Uhhh" again, so I cough to cover it up. The corners of James's mouth twitch. Alice will be _so_ proud of me.

"Do you know why my favorite color is green?" asks James suddenly.

"Why?" I squeak out.

"Because it reminds me of your eyes."

"Funny, it's my favorite color because it reminds me of your boxers," I blurt out.

He looks at me and starts laughing, and I can't help joining in because I can't believe I just said that.

"Green underwear would probably bring out your eyes, too," James laughs. He takes a step closer.

And I summon all of my confidence and courage, and although I don't shove him up against the wall—sorry, Alice—I finally take initiative and kiss him.

He seems surprised at first, but the kiss deepens and grows more fervent and passionate. His arms are around me, and the feeling of his lips against mine is even lovelier than I'd imagined. I could get used to this.

We break apart, gasping for air, and his face reddens when he realizes that he's still only in his boxers. I remember what I'm here for.

"Um…we kind of have a Prefects' meeting right now..." I mumble.

"Yeah, I overslept; Professor McGonagall's going to kill me." James grabs a pair of pants off the floor, shoves his feet into a pair of shoes, and grinning at me, pulls the green shirt I was admiring just a few days ago over his hair. His hair is rumpled and messy, but he still looks adorable.

"She's going to wonder what we've got up to," I laugh.

He kisses me quickly on the lips once more, and laughing, we leave the dormitory together, fingers entwined.


	15. Oneshot 14: Socks

Socks

Oneshot #14

By: Sunlit Days

James Potter is wearing the strangest pair of socks I have ever seen. They're long and grey, with a thin stripe of green near the top, and dancing diamonds of darker grey arranged in a preppy pattern below the stripe. He's wearing them with green shorts and a black shirt—in my opinion, his two best colors because they emphasize the emerald and jade flecks in his hazel eyes, making them look deeper and even more striking.

"That is a complete fashion _disaster_," my friend Alice declares. "They look like something Remus would wear."

"They're kind of cute, though," I reply from where I'm stretched out on the soft green grass, tanning—no, _burning_—in the golden afternoon sunlight. "You know, just because he's wearing them."

Alice stops laughing for a moment to give me the Lily-Evans-you-are-completely-hopeless look that she's perfected over the past few months. "Well, why don't you try _taking initiative_ and telling him that?" she suggests.

"Because then it sounds like I'm looking at his socks—"

"You _are,_" Alice points out. "Just go up to him and tell him that you like his socks. Sarcastically. Or ask him if he stole them from Remus."

I laugh at her, and turn my gaze back to James, who's playing with a Snitch nearby. I can't help laughing every time I see those socks. Alice is right—they really _are_ a fashion disaster, and I don't know what's possessed him to wear them, especially with shorts, not that James really cares about how that looks, anyway.

"No, I've got it," Alice continues. "_I'd like to take off your socks."_

This only makes me laugh harder as I continue to watch James. Alice constantly makes fun of how slowly he walks, but he has amazing reflexes, and he catches the Snitch with fluid, graceful movements, making it look like an art. His skin is already slightly bronzed from all the time he's been spending outside in the recent stretch of sunshine and warm weather.

"I'd like to take off your socks," I repeat, laughing. "Yeah, that'll work. He'll probably think I'm crazy, or it'll come out wrong, like, 'I like what's under your socks' or something like that."

"Then he'll think you have a feet fetish," Alice laughs.

"Yeah, that's _just_ what I need," I retort.

"Actually, I think it's more of a socks fetish. Or maybe a James Potter fetish." Alice grins, still laughing at me. She has a habit of doing that, or telling me to take initiative every time we talk about James.

"I can't help it," I defend myself as I stand up, red hair swirling around my shoulders in the slight breeze. I squint in James's direction, watching him pocket the Snitch and set across the sprawling green grounds in the direction of the castle.

"You always end up following him," observes Alice. She picks up the book she's finished reading and stands up, walking towards the open doors of the castle with me.

"I don't do it on purpose."

"But your eyes are always following him."

I don't know what to say to this. He's like a magnet that my eyes are instantly attracted to by magnetic force. It's like one of those sappy Muggle romance films—I almost expect romantic music to start playing and for everything to start moving in slow motion as James turns and his eyes catch mine for a moment. But of course he's not looking for me—my luck doesn't work that way.

Alice starts laughing again when we're behind him, looking at his socks. Of course, this catches his attention.

"What's so funny?" he inquires.

"Nice socks," I answer. Alice looks like she's about to go into shock over my actually 'taking initiative'.

James grins. "Thanks. I had to borrow them from Remus—none of mine were clean."

Alice still looks too shocked to laugh, and I have to bite my lip hard enough to draw blood to prevent myself from laughing. At least I know he washes his socks and doesn't dig out the first dirty pair he can find on the floor, unlike people like Sirius Black, who could do with borrowing Remus's socks—it's not as if he doesn't steal Remus's clothes, anyway. And he could get away with telling Remus that he'd like to take off his socks—he probably takes off a lot more than just Remus's socks on a regular basis.

"They, um…suit you very well," I say quickly.

James looks pleased, like he actually thinks I'm serious. "Thanks." His eyes light up; it's obvious he has an idea. I can only hope it's not an idea for a prank on the Slytherins, although he has backed down ever since he became Head Boy this year. He's also managed to become much more tolerable and somewhat more mature lately, which is probably the reason I've cracked after six years of resisting his so-called charms. And it doesn't hurt that he's kind of cute in his own way, if like me, you're the crazy type of person who falls for a guy with messy black hair that he's constantly raking his hand through, hazel eyes with flecks of green and amber, and glasses.

"Your socks are boring, Lily," James is saying, looking at my short, plain white socks. "You need interesting socks."

"I'll ask Remus where he gets his," I quip, making both James and Alice laugh.

"He's got a whole drawer-full upstairs," James offers. "You know, if you ever want to borrow any..."

"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." I smile at him, and my heart starts pounding as he smiles back. I'm suddenly aware of how close we are, how good he smells, how he seems to radiate warmth…

Alice kicks me and I snap out of James-land.

"No problem," James is saying. He smiles again, then begins to walk away, causing my eyes to do that weird following him thing again. "See you later."

--

I wake up the next morning to the sound of Alice's laughter. Rolling out of bed, I rub my eyes and blink several times to make sure I'm not hallucinating.

Dark socks with thin, green outlines of diamonds, socks with green and black stripes, green and black checkered socks, white socks that are for some reason decorated with four-leaf clovers, strangely feminine black socks with green polka dots…every possible combination of green and black socks decorated with various patterns and shapes cover almost every available surface in the room. There's no doubt in my mind as to who put them here. The only question is _how_ he managed to sneak into our dormitory, but he's a Marauder, which, sadly, is enough explanation for everything James and his friends get away with. I'm torn between laughter at how it's almost cute of James to do this, after our conversation yesterday, and annoyance over how he somehow snuck into our dormitory and made such a mess.

"Oh, _come on_, Lily," Alice says, throwing a pair of socks at me. "You have to admit it's funny."

I catch the socks and put them on absentmindedly, then stand up to wade through the sea of socks carpeting the floor so I can get to the closet. I dress quickly, then go down to the common room with Alice, without bothering to do anything about the socks littering the floor of the dormitory.

James is the first person I see as I descend the stairs—I'm confident now that my eyes are attached to him by magnetic force—and as soon as he sees me, he starts laughing. I hate how adorable he is when he's rolling around laughing, especially when it's at my expense. I kick myself mentally for thinking that, and I think Alice can read my mind, because she takes care of the task of physically kicking me.

"Nice socks, Lily," James laughs.

I glance down and realize that I'm wearing the same pair of socks that Alice and I were laughing over yesterday. The situation is so stupid and ridiculous that I can't help laughing. I look down at James's socks. They're plain and white, like the pair I was wearing yesterday.

"Your socks are boring, James," I say blithely, smiling slightly. "You need interesting socks. I've got plenty upstairs if you want to borrow any."

"I'm getting an odd sense of déjà-vu," James tells me. "Except it's kind of the other way around."

I laugh nervously, and suddenly his lips are on mine, in front of everyone. His lips are soft, and the kiss is sweet and innocent, and the only coherent thought running through my brain is _I like what's under your socks_, which makes absolutely no sense, and I blame Alice…

"I don't remember _that_ happening yesterday," I blurt out stupidly when we break apart.

James laughs. "Then I'll just have to do it again to make up for it, won't I?"

And he kisses me again, and I conclude that it's our lips that should be magnetized together, not just our eyes, and maybe in the future, that won't be so hard. And unlike yesterday, he doesn't walk away alone; instead, we walk down to breakfast together, fingers entwined.

And eventually, I do get to take off his socks.


	16. Oneshot 15: All's Fair in Love and War

All's Fair in Love and War

Oneshot #15

By: Lexie-H

James' head was throbbing. He blinked, groaning groggily as he tried to sit up. The floor was cold and hard beneath him, and he shivered, licking his lips.

_Where was he?_

The room was small and dark, oppressively so, and although he couldn't tell for certain, James was quite sure he had seen a shadow move in the corner of the room, responding to his awakening.

"Hello?"

His voice was raw, as though he had been yelling. It struck him as odd that he couldn't recall how he had arrived in this strange, foreboding place. Searching his mind desperately for some answers, it occurred to James that the last thing he remembered was studying in the library…

How very strange indeed.

"Hello?" he tried again. "I can see you, you know."

It was a bluff, though James hoped a good one. He couldn't help but grin as he heard a sigh in response.

"You want to lighten this place up a little, and tell me what in Merlin's name I'm doing here?" he asked smoothly.

The sigh had sounded wistful, even feminine.

"I'd – I'd rather not," the other person muttered suddenly, confirming James' suspicions. The voice didn't even seem particularly _old_, which could only be a good sign.

"Are we still in Hogwarts?" he asked the girl.

She seemed manageable now, somehow. Yes, it did indeed appear he had been kidnapped, but he wasn't frightened in the least. After all, who would want to hurt _him_?

"We are," she conceded, and all worry left James' mind.

"And we're in the Room of Requirement?"

"Of course we bloody well are, Potter," she snapped, suddenly aggravated. "Stop being so bloody… self assured, and smug… and – you!"

James blinked disbelievingly as the grin on his face widened.

No way…

"Evans?" he asked incredulously.

"Shut up," she replied instantly, evidently grumpy.

Realising that he could stand, James did so, feeling his hands up against the wall for support. It occurred to him to look for his wand, and sure enough, there it was in his pocket.

"_Lumos."_

His prison illuminated, James raised his eyebrows. Lily had certainly outdone herself: stone walls and floor encased the room completely, and the overall effect was that of a damp, cold, dark and slightly menacing place, although James couldn't help but be reminded of the dungeon classrooms.

Lily was sitting in the opposite corner, arms hugged around her knees, face hidden in a tumble of hair.

James approached her easily, hands in his pockets. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?" he asked conversationally.

Lily sniffed. "We're trapped," she replied miserably.

James slid down the wall to sit beside her, rolling his eyes. "Obviously, since there isn't any door. I meant, how did we end up in here?"

Lily raised her head to glare at him. "It's all your bloody fault," she replied haltingly. "If I hadn't kidnapped _you_ neither of us would be stuck in here."

James fought the urge to laugh, holding up a hand as Lily opened her mouth once more.

"Wait – _you_ kidnapped _me_ and this is _my_ fault?"

Lily hunched her shoulders and hid behind her hair, emitting a muffled and extremely sulky, "_Yes_."

James could hold it in no longer: he simply _had_ to laugh.

"Lily Evans, you have well and truly outdone yourself," he told her fondly. And, as an afterthought, "What did I do to deserve a kidnapping?"

This time, James couldn't make out her reply. He leant closer, so close that when he asked, "Pardon?" Lily jumped. Her head shot up again, and to her extreme discomfort, she found his face much closer than she expected.

"I said, I couldn't get you to go away."

"So you put us together in a room without a door?"

_Because that obviously seemed like the logical response…_

Hang on –

"Besides, I haven't annoyed you all year, so I really don't know what you're talking about."

Lily sniffed. "You're in my head, damnit, Potter, and I want you out."

"I'm _in your head?_"

Lily leapt to her feet and stalked away, but James was quick to follow.

"Come, now Evans. You can't be scared of sounding stupid – it'd take a lot to outdo this mess we're in."

Fists clenched and teeth gritted, she turned to him furiously. "I can't stop thinking about you, ok?" she screeched shrilly. "And I've had it up to _here_ with you and your… you!"

James' heart thudded in his chest, and he felt the sudden need to sit down. Backing toward the wall once again, he sunk to the ground.

"You can't stop thinking about me?" His voice was faint, as though he couldn't quite believe the words. "You can't stop thinking about me, after all those years of being absolutely horrid to me? You hate me! And now – now this?"

"All's fair in love and war," Lily replied shortly. She gestured to herself suddenly, eagerly. "Go on, then. Take the spell off. I've had enough."

James shook his head numbly. "I don't have the faintest idea of what you're talking about, Evans. No spell, I swear."

Lily frowned, biting her lip and running a hand down her neck in a manner that James found so enticing that he had to restrain himself.

"Sirius, then?"

"No, he wouldn't do that, I'm afraid. I think it's just you," he told her, as sympathetically as he could muster.

Lily scowled. "It can't be me. It's just like you said: I hate you! I absolutely and completely loathe you. I wouldn't care less if I never saw you again, Potter. I don't understand why all of a sudden I- I can't… I can't do this, you know. I'm going insane. Make it stop, please?"

She gazed at him imploringly. James, who felt as though he had once again landed back in reality – Lily Evans was yelling at him, after all – threw up his hands to illustrate his helplessness.

"I don't know what to do, Lily. I'm sorry."

She winced. "Don't – _don't_ – say my name. Merlin, I can't even look at you without – It's just not good enough. This has to stop, now!"

He was stuck in a room without a door while the love of his life was literally deconstructing in front of his eyes.

"Li- Evans?" he offered tentatively, patting the cold stone slab beside him invitingly. "Come and sit."

Eyes squeezed shut, Lily shook her head in refusal. Sighing, James stood. She jumped as he gripped her shoulders and gently directed her to the floor, before resuming his seat. Then, hesitantly, he put an arm around her. "Just calm down," he advised. "Everything is going to be _all_ right."

"It isn't," she said, so positively that it flawed him. "There's something wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you," he told her softly. "You're just a bit mixed up, that's all."

And without really understanding how he had come across the information, James began to explain things in a slow, soothing voice.

"It's not really me you're angry with," he murmured softly, stroking her hair. "You're angry with yourself. You're not used to doing things you don't want to, because you're so in control all the time. You never ask yourself for anything more than you're willing to give, and you can't understand why this is happening, because you don't want it to happen, but you can't make it stop, can you?"

Lily shook her head balefully, chancing a glance at him in wonder. "How did you know all that?"

James grinned. "Ah, well, you know… All's fair in love and war, Lily."

Lily raised her head hopefully. "Know thy enemy?" she suggested, grasping for something she could understand.

James met her eyes sadly. "Not quite," he told her softly. "More like, know thy own heart."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"_Know thy own heart."_

Lily gasped, seeing that familiar look in his eyes. It was a look she absolutely dreaded: eyes wide and enticing, he held her gaze, and the depth of admiration that _look_ carried was frightening.

"You don't really fancy me," she said, more to herself than to him.

James laughed softly, the arm around her shoulder tightening. "Oh, but I do," he contradicted softly.

Lily shook her head. "No, you can't," she said simply. "You can't like me."

His hand gripped her shoulder, now. "Lily Evans, I fancy you, for all your stubborn denial. I'm sorry, but that's the truth."

Lily remained silent this time, processing the information thoughtfully. Who was this solemn boy, with his arm around her, apologizing for being attracted to her? And, more importantly, what had he done with the rude, arrogant and infuriating Potter?

His heavy sigh promptly brought her back, just in time to hear his wistful:

"Not that it matters, anyway."

James's head bumped against hers before coming to rest there. _May as well savor the moment before it passes_, he thought sadly.

Because, inevitably, Lily was about to hex him.

"Why doesn't it matter?" Her timid response was the last thing he had expected.

"Because as much as I fancy you, you're never going to fancy me, so it's rather hopeless."

He couldn't believe he was having the conversation, really. He had thought about it constantly, considered the words so many times before, but it had never occurred to James that he'd ever speak them.

Lily was shaking her head for the umpteenth time. "Not so hopeless."

James breath caught in his chest, and he turned to look at her once again. "Not?" he repeated, although it was a struggle to get the word out.

"I – I couldn't stop thinking about you… because I think I fancy you."

James didn't know what to say.

"And I _couldn't_ fancy you, because you're so… well… _you_."

Lily glanced at him abruptly as he made a soft choking sound. James' face was the picture of absolute disbelief. However, he didn't seem ready, or able, to speak.

"But," Lily continued softly. "You're not _being_ you. You're being someone else at the moment, and I… I quite like him, to be honest, so, you know… I just figured I'd let you know: not so hopeless."

"Not so hopeless," he agreed, brain scrambling.

Swiftly, he removed the arm from around her shoulders and moved to kneel in front of her.

Lily watched him suspiciously. "You're back, then." The hostility renewed to her voice was almost chilling.

James' eyes widened, and he shook his head, giving her a weak smile. "No – no, no, I'm still not me," he reassured her quickly, and Lily seemed to relax once more. James continued doggedly. "Or – or rather, Evans-"

"Call me Lily. _You're_ allowed to call me Lily. Just not… you know, _you._"

There seemed to be a very strange logic to this girl, James decided, fighting a smile. A very strange logic indeed – which made her, in his eyes at least, all the more endearing.

"OK. Anyway – I was going to say, Lily… that I rather _am_ being me. This _is_ me."

Lily blinked. "But you can't be you, because you're horrid."

James' face contorted, so that it appeared he was grinning and frowning all at once.

"That's the thing, Lily: I'm not horrid. You just _think_ I'm horrid. This is me, really."

Lily looked at him skeptically. "To be honest, I don't really believe you. I mean, if you're _you_, but you're… this – then what do I call you?"

"James. My name is James."

She nodded, cocking her head to the side. "All right," she agreed. "I'll call you James… but I still don't believe you."

"Well I don't know what else I can say-?"

"Prove it, then. Prove to me that you're James, but you're _you_. Because I really can't see how you can be both, but if you are, you can prove it to me."

James nodded slowly, at the same time wondering, mystified, how he had ended up at this point. Maybe he really _did_ have a split personality? At the very least, he was beginning to suspect _Lily_ did - or alternatively, some other debilitating mental issue. Maybe even concussion. Concussion was a preferable option, since it at least was temporary.

"How do I prove it to you?" he asked reasonably.

Head still cocked to the side, Lily squinted at him. She looked positively adorable that it was all James could do not to-

"Kiss me."

"_Excuse me_?"

"The _you_ I know would do anything to kiss me. And if you really are him, you'd want to. So I suppose the big question is, do you, as James, want to kiss me?"

"Of course I do!" James was almost offended.

Lily smiled. "I don't suppose I'll mind, either, so long as it doesn't transform you back into _you_. I don't think I want you to change back – it's quite nice, you-"

Lily found herself cut off by the kiss she had been requesting. She also found, greatly to her surprise, that it was very much Potter who was kissing her. He was just as fierce and confident and passionate as the boy she knew and loathed… but at the same time, all she could taste, and feel, and smell, was James.

He pulled away, panting slightly to catch his breath. "Has that convinced you, then?"

James felt rather giddy, although he hadn't expected anything different from kissing Lily. Realistically, he had just fulfilled his daily wish of about four or five years, so to be all over the place was to be expected.

"I – I rather think you have convinced me, yes."

The disappointment in Lily's voice cut through James' euphoria like a brutal and effective killing curse.

"Oh. I'm… I'm sorry then," he replied, stomach sinking.

They were back to where they had started, once again, and it was _all his stupid fault for-_

"Don't be sorry," she said quietly. "I didn't say I minded."

"You don't?"

Lily offered a shy smile. "I… I daresay I _liked_ it, even – James."

James grinned, although the smile instantly vanished as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, yes," she murmured dryly, "You _are_ Potter, aren't you?"

James nodded. "Very much so, Lily."

She sighed. "And we just kissed. And I _like_ you…"

"You still like me?" his voice was so high and squeaky that had it been any other occasion, James would have been thoroughly ashamed of himself.

"Of course I do. That was the whole problem… although now, it doesn't seem so…"

"Problematic?" he suggested slyly.

Lily nodded. "Yes, thank you. It doesn't seem so problematic. So long as you keep being James and don't go all the way back to Potter, I think we can manage marvelously."

James eyed her quizzically. "But I'm still me," he reminded her gently. "I… I don't really think I can't _not_ be me…?"

"But you aren't being you. Not the Potter I know. You _are_ being the James I know, though. Just… just not Potter-the-twat."

"I don't think he exists," James said thoughtfully, looking all the more self-assured. "You'll just have to get to know me a little better, won't you?"

Lily grinned. "And how do you propose I go about that, do you think?"

James performed a double take, delighted. "You're flirting with me!"

Lily slapped him over the back of his head. "You dolt," she muttered, standing up and offering him a hand.

James stood and accepted her hand, pulling her to him and wrapping his arms around her. "Yes?" he replied cheekily.

Lily scowled, although her eyes danced playfully. "Don't you _dare, _Ja-"

She was cut off by another kiss. Yes, she was certainly going to enjoy this new and improved James Potter…

He pulled away, eyes twinkling. "Now that that's sorted," he spoke briskly, "how do you propose we get out of here?"

Lily drew back a little, gazing around. "See, that was the problem – that's why I ended up stuck in here with you-"

"Not that I'm complaining," he interrupted cheerfully.

"- I wanted a place you couldn't get out of, and then the door shut and disappeared and _I_ couldn't get out either…"

"But you asked for a door, right?"

Lily's eyes snapped back to his incredulously. "I _what?_"

"You asked for a door once it disappeared, didn't you?"

She shook her head slowly, mouth formed into a soft 'o' that James wanted to kiss again. And he would, too, he decided, right after he got them out of this place.

"Lily, this is the room of requirement. _You_ asked for this room, and it gave you exactly what you wanted-"

"Minus the door."

"Minus the door… But you could have just _asked_ for a door."

She eyed him doubtfully. "All I had to do was ask for a door?" she repeated faintly. "All I had to do was _ask_ and I wouldn't have-"

"Not that we're complaining," James repeated once more. "All you need to do is ask, and we can get out of here, and go and see how many people pass out in shock when we walk into the common room holding hands."

Lily smiled, shaking her head in disbelief. "I _can't_ believe I didn't think of that," she admitted ruefully. She added, rather absently, "And I bet Sirius is the first to fall."

James grinned, kissing her forehead. "You're on. Weave your magic, door-lady."

Lily closed her eyes, thoughts focused on nothing more and nothing less than a door by means of leaving the room. She opened her eyes, breathing a sigh of relief as a door before them.

Shaking her head, Lily preceded James out of the room, waiting whilst he closed the door. He did so and they watched it vanish into the wall together, arms slung about each other.

Lily grinned up at them. "I'm _so_ sorry, you know…"

James returned her smile. "I'm not," he responded easily as they began down the corridor.

Even before they reached the end, Sirius came skidding into sight.

"Prongs! Prongs! I think the Map is malfunction-"

Sirius slid to a halt before them, eyes widening. He stretched out a hand to the wall for support. "Oh _Merlin_…"

James sighed audibly, turning to Lily gravely. "He didn't faint," he murmured sadly.

Lily couldn't help it. She had to laugh.

"What's going on?" Sirius demanded, apparently recovered enough to regard them suspiciously. "Prongs, if this is some sort of joke, then really, mate…"

James slung his free arm around his best friend's shoulder, and together, the three of them strolled off down the corridor, Sirius peeking curiously at James and Lily, as though they would disappear the moment he looked away.

"Paddy, have you ever heard the old saying '_All's fair in love and war'_?"


	17. Oneshot 16: The Upside to Insanity

The Upside to Insanity

Oneshot #16

By: happy sappy ending

Lily awoke to find something gnawing at her side. She peered unfocusedly at a blurred shape of an owl. She shrugged it off groggily and clambered out of bed, rubbing her newly sore arm. The bird had taken to swooping around the room wildly. Lily narrowly dodged the owl as it nipped past her ear. As it chirped outrageously, an envelope fell. Recognising the Hogwarts emblem, Lily hastened to open it.

She found a small piece of parchment inside, scanning the usual concise manner of providing information Professor McGonagall had, she shuffled through the envelope to retrieve the list of standard books/equipment, but instead found a small badge. Examining it closely, she discovered the crest was bordered by gold, over a transparent lion stood two small crimson letter's- "HG". For all of a split second, Lily struggled to comprehend. But then she figured. Head Girl. She screamed. The hysteria begins.

_Kings Cross Station _

As platform ten approached, Lily recognised James Potter leaning against the linking barrier. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin stood with him while Peter Pettigrew struggled to shoulder his way between them.

'Oh, _dear_ Merlin...' Lupin said faintly, looking slightly nauseous.

'Dumbledore's lost it.' said Sirius understatedly.

Minutes passed and Remus was the first to recover, though his cheeks still seemed to be accustomed to an unusal shade of green, 'Ah, well, y'know what they say - "you can't compete with age".'

'Enlightening, Moony.'

'Thank you, Padfoot.'

'Who are "they" anyway?'

'Xenophilius Lovegood said they were behind the conspiracy of the "Wart Faced Bonbons"...' Piped Peter, his voice muffled from behind James' shoulder.

'My fingers are starting to hurt from gesticulating all these quotations...'

Sirius was perplexed, 'Testicl- what?'

'Oh, Padfoot...'

'Hey!' said James indignantly, realising that his friends had been insulting him minutes before. Yes, his outburst was _slightly_ overdue.

The boys strategically avoided his eyes.

'I've earned this!' James said defensively, thrusting the badge from his pocket into their faces, walloping Peter on the forehead. Nobody seemed to notice.

Sirius smirked and let off a hacking cough that sounded peculiarly like 'slacker' which earned _him_ a smack on the back of his head.

'Prat.' he offered in kind explanation, 'I meant, I've earned _this_! The chance to prove to her… '

As he turned to Lily, he felt her eyes watching him closely. She swiftly spun around as he looked up. James noticed the side of her cheek flaming.

'James!' whispered Sirius, steering him through the barrier, "Stop ogling at her!" As they emerged on the other side, James whooped gleefully, "I could've sworn she was looking at me!" Sirius shook his head somewhat pityingly.

* * *

James shot another glance at the opposite carriage, consisting of Lily and a few other friends. He nudged Sirius (who was overwhelmed with a large group of girls) and addressed the girls delicately, 'OI! Clear off, we're leaving.' Sirius, who, sorry to depart, followed James moodily into the next carriage, taking care to mutter darkly (nonetheless audibly) under his breath.

'Hold on, the changing rooms were back over– hey! Where are you going?'

'Just wait…' muttered James; his eyes fixed on Lily - his hand immediately disrupting his hair.

Sirius frowned and followed James' gaze. Comprehending, his expression cleared and he turned to James, making an appreciative noise and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Alice withdrew from the conversation and gaped at the door in. She pointed at the door. Then at Lily. Then at the door. Then at Lily once more. This was getting confusing. Lily peered through the tinted glass to see two tall figures, one with recognisably unkempt hair. Lily shrieked in understanding as the door opened.

James stopped short in front of it while Sirius busied himself at the passing lunch trolley and Alice, in an attempt to make herself scarce, picked up an old textbook lying on the bench. She held it upside down flipping the pages swiftly, all the while watching Lily and James attentively.

James put a hand to the back of his neck and faced Lily.

'Hi.' he said nervously.

She smiled at him in response.

'How was your break?' They voiced in unison.

James cleared his throat uncomfortably while Lily let off a weak laugh.

James opened his mouth and then closed it.

'I got made Head Boy.' He blurted out confusedly.

Lily laughed and clasped her hands together in delight, shaking her head in amusement. Then, she composed her expression into one of deep solemnity, 'I see.' she continued, a smile tugging traitorously at the corners of her mouth, 'And _I_ got made the least gullible student at Hogwarts.' She bent double, clutching her stomach and gasping for air between long interludes of laughter. When she fell off her seat she merely laughed harder; clutching James' trouser leg in a half hearted attempt to lift herself back up from the ground.

'Sorry?' he asked vaguely. See, dear James was mislead into thinking (or simply, he was very desperate to believe) he had deeply impressed her with an amazingly witty joke and her head was bowed at his feet because she had suddenly seen sense and discovered him the most exquisite male she had ever come across. Of couse, he was perfectly entitled to be a _little_ pleased with himself. However, his smug appearance made Lucius Malfoy seem modest.

'And look! You're still playing the part!' She said, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes.

Sadly, James abandoned his reverie and finally understood what she hadn't. 'Er. Yeah, see, that's the catch… I'm not kidding.'

'Of course not.' She said with a secretive wink.

'No. Really.'

'Oh, James,' she said affectionately.

'Lily, I'm serious!'

'No you're not.'

'Yes, I am.'

'No.'

'Yes.'

'No…'

'Yes!'

'_No!_' Lily exclaimed crossly. 'Merlin! I've never known you to be so… _persistent_!'

Sirius, who had been observing the pair for the past several minutes and having registered James' uneasiness with amusement, interrupted, 'What do you call the time when he camped at the foot of the girls' staircase in fifth year, then?'

'Good point.' Lily said, crossing her arms while James's cheeks developed a pink tinge.

'Look, Lily, here - I'll show you-' James spoke while emptying out his pockets. Lily watched in mingled disgust and amusement as an assortment of wrappers, a half eaten chocolate frog, a few silver coins, a knut, a carefully sealed bag filled with brown pellets that suspiciously looked like Doxy droppings, a smooth handled mirror and a blank square of parchment that looked oddly innocent among the rest. At the top of the pile lay a sparkling badge almost identical to Lily's but with the letters "HB".

'Ha!' he said raising it in the air in triumph.

'Pfft. You stole it from Remus.' Lily retorted easily.

'I can't believe you!' James said injuredly.

'Lily, it's his!' hissed Alice impatiently from her place in the corner. Remus entered the compartment and looked in interest at the book in her hands, '_A study of Hogwarts prefect and their later careers_? Good choice, Alice!' Both girls disregarded him, James couldn't blame them, the boy's reading habits were _odd_. Lily looked torn between the both of them, and then the reality settled in on her. 'I...I, er, am going to be working with you? This year?' she asked in a small voice, looking James in the eye. He nodded, relieved. She cleared her throat but her voice remained at a painfully high frequency, 'All year?'

He nodded slowly this time, looking at Sirius for some comfort. Sirius had his fist in his mouth and still seemed to be having trouble stifling his laughter, breaking the tense silence with an excessive snort.

'Oh. Oh! That's great!' Lily said, looking shell shocked, her eyes watering slightly from the prolonged period taken without blinking.

James, however, was oblivious to her odd behaviour and grinned.

'Yeah! I thought so, too!' He said excitedly, 'So, shall we go then?' without concern for an answer, he hoisted her up from her seat effortlessly.

'Where?' Lily asked faintly.

'Prefect meeting. We're running it.'

'Sure.' she said looking bewildered, nodding her head a bit too vigorously.

* * *

Lily had still not gained her composure as James began the meeting and instead took to observing James. How his jaw tensed when a particularly nosy prefect asked him a particularly nosy question and how he resorted to hand gestures when he had trouble conveying his point and how his gaze darted to the corners of both eyes when he was talking to Lily when she seemed more absorbed in their intensity…

'Lily? Lily, are you even listening to me?'

'Sure I am.' She scoffed promptly.

'So what do you think of it, then?' he said smirking, crossing his arms.

'I agree…?' she said uncertainly.

'Great!' said James brightly. 'So, we'll be seeing each other tomorrow evening?'

'For what?' Lily demanded. 'I'm not dating _you_!' It was just a reflex. She knew she hadn't meant it. Thinking back, she was sure _he _hadn't meant it.

His face hardened. There was no trace of amusement etched into his features and she was surprised at the difference this made. She found herself evading the searching look in his eyes. He spoke in a hollow sort of voice, 'Our patrolling duties, Lily. Tomorrow night.'

Suddenly the room seemed very hot. Lily looked to the crowd in front of her. Some were looking pointedly at their shoes, others were scrutinising their fingernails with feigned interest, however, a group of fifth years were chatting animatedly among themselves and pausing to shoot furtive glances towards the two at the front while several boys at the back were swapping coins rapidly, apparently involved in a sort of betting scheme - receiving Lily's mortification and James' soreness as a profitable opportunity.

'Um, yes, er, everyone - you can leave,' said Lily anxiously, eyeing some reluctant girls, she added, 'all of you.' As she turned to leave, James caught her wrist. Lily spun around to face him but he did not release his hold on her.

'I haven't asked you out for six months.' stated James tonelessly, his eyes boring into hers.

Lily made a small sound and he relaxed his grip on her, drawing small circles on the back of her hands with his thumbs.

'Did you know that?' He asked.

She jerked her head to the side in a non-committal motion.

'I haven't asked you out for six months,' he continued, his eyes still fixed on hers, his thumbs retreating to the underside of her hands, 'And I don't plan to,' He paused, his hands beneath hers, 'So. Next time when you feel distracted by me… attracted _to_ me…' He released her hands and turned the handle of the door, 'Don't jump to conclusions.' He wasn't facing her, but he said in a low voice, 'Because you're only flattering yourself, Evans.' With that, he walked away.

Lily registered the renewed use of her surname with some astonishment. It seemed years after he had called her by her second name. She found herself hurt by his quiet ferocity, but couldn't help but think he was right. She was being an egotistical prat. A description fitting of the James she had known two years ago. It was clear something had changed.

It didn't really make a difference, she thought. After all, this realisation had settled in _after _aiming a Fernunculus curse at his backside, laughing openly with satisfaction as the small circular boils stretched against the fabric of his shirt when he sat down with a groan. It really was a shame.

* * *

As Hogwarts drew nearer, Lily felt an acute sense of nostalgia as she realised it was the last time she would be approaching the castle from such a distance, the last year Peeves would devise vulgar sonnets involving herself, Potter and a can of whipped cream, her last year of Slughorn marvelling at her potion abilities or sending Flitwick flying across the room with a poorly controlled charm. The last chance she had of being with James…

Lily jumped in her seat. When had this happened? When had her mind developed a mind of its own? Why wasn't she concerned about how alarmingly incoherent her last thought just sounded? When had thoughts developed sounds? Dear Merlin, if thoughts had sounds, then James Potter would know she fancied him! She fancied him? Why hadn't her mind bothered to consult her on this matter? Why had she been left behind? Now she thought about it, she did remember her mind being particularly evasive that one day…

Across from Lily sat Alice who was staring - for the sake of accuracy, gawking - at her tentatively. Alice kept quiet and focused on Lily's disjointed mutterings, picking up on the occasional 'mind', 'traitor' and 'excluded'. Then Lily turned to her looking unnervingly sombre, 'Alice,' she spoke in a low, fearful voice, 'can you…can you…_hear_ my thoughts?' Alice's eyebrows knitted together in confusion and Lily went on, her voice brimming with anger, 'Did they, by any chance, mention that I have, most unfortunately,' here her voice dripped with sarcasm and her right eye twitched violently, 'not come to the same conclusions?' She shook her fist menacingly, all the while her eyes moved around the room suspiciously.

Alice turned around towards the window once more, feeling more than a little concerned for her friend's well being.

* * *

In the Great Hall, Lily watched The Sorting with a somewhat vacant air; her mind seemed to be elsewhere. "Three-seats-across" elsewhere. Where a certain messy haired boy with hazel eyes and glasses that she found endearing instead of repulsive (a fact that incensed her) was sitting casually back in his seat, his elbow set upon the table, one hand supporting his head.

'Rosier, Evan!' She looked vaguely at a slim boy.

'Slytherin!' The Hat called after a moment's silence. The boy's face lit up in smug satisfaction.

Lily turned back to James who, along with Sirius, was watching the boy with slight suspicion. He gave a non-committal shrug towards James which was returned by a slight tilt of the head. Lily narrowed her eyes ad Alice distinctly heard her mutter knowledgably, 'Non-verbal Marauder understanding…' then, 'tossers. Can't come to a mutual agreement out loud.' Her eyes bore into James' back and he seemed to have noticed this, turning around briefly to meet her eyes. He did not smile, just looked at her with a slightly weary expression. She swallowed and felt strangely heavy, subdued. Not noticing the fresh bubble of laughter and chat as the food appeared in front of her, she sat with her eyes fixed on the backside of James' seat.

Once the empty golden plates and goblets disappeared, after Dumbledore had advised them not to sleep on their stomachs after such a feast, after the students filed off systematically towards their common rooms and dormitories, James waited for Lily at the entrance. He was leaning against a wall with his hands deep in his pockets; his eyes skimmed her figure - almost imperceptibly - perhaps in recognition of any signs of remorse from her part. She walked deliberately towards him and stopped so close to him that their feet were touching. Almost.

He slowly lifted himself off the wall, not sure what to expect. And then Lily did something that neither of them could have suspected. She took a hand and placed it on the side of his face, her fingers resting beside the rim of his glasses. She leaned forward and put her arms at the back of his head and placed her cheek beside his. He stood very still. 'I'm sorry.' She said softly, her breath tickling his ear. He noticeably relaxed and looked down at the top of her head, placing his hands on the small of her back. His lips pressed lightly into her hair and she smiled steadily up at him. For a split second Lily continued to look contented and _be _contented at the flecks of green in his eyes and his smooth skin and the warmth he radiated. Then, she had pulled out of the embrace, hitting him hard across his face. It was just a reflex. She knew she hadn't meant it.

He wore an expression of mingled surprise and frustration. He shook his head and kicked the wall next to him, cursing inwardly under his breath. He raked a hand through his hair and made his way towards the end of the corridor.

Lily stood, rooted to the spot. Then suddenly her voice called out, hoarse, 'James?' she walked in the direction he had left, splitting into a run. As she pivoted around a pillar that she had never seen before, she collided with a hard surface that was his chest.

'Oof!'

James steadied her by her shoulders but released her promptly as the throbbing on the left side of his face became more pronounced.

Lily snapped her head around to face him so hurriedly, it looked painful. Rubbing her neck with a groan, she implored, 'James! I'm _so_ sorry! It's just second nature for me to curse your hand off at any opportunity of contact. It's like when I threaten to disembowel you when you touch your hair - It's all friendly, you know that, don't you?' She looked determined. Determinedly insane. Red locks escaped the knot at the back of her head, her school shirt had escaped from her skirt and her eyes were glistening and bulging slightly from hysteria. Tears began to fall fast down her face, 'And l-look, your, your cheek, it-it's still _red_!' she sobbed even harder at this and James looked nothing short of distraught.

'Oh Lily, please, don't cry! I swear I'll…erm… be very sad if you do… I mean to say; you already _have_ started to, but-'

'I don't want you to b-be sad…' said Lily miserably through tears, 'and I'm _not_ crying!' she said defiantly, her head snapping up.

'Lily?' he implored cautiously, 'Would I be in any danger if I, you know, er, hugged you?'

'Probably.' she said despondently. He sighed. She brushed the back of her hands against her eyes and wiped away any trace of moisture. She looked up at him and there was a hard, blazing look in her eyes, 'I want you to, though.' And then his arms were around her. She squeezed her eyes shut and inhaled him, James - an intoxicating mixture of the woody smell of a broomstick handle, freshly mown grass and the clean boy scent he seemed to exude. She buried her head into the crisp cotton of his shirt, the cool silk of his tie pressed against her hot, red cheeks.

Someone cleared their throat behind them. The two broke apart. Professor Dumbledore stood at the end of the hallway, eyes twinkling. Lily turned faintly pink.

'Ah, just the two I was looking for!' he exclaimed brightly, either oblivious to Lily's embarrassment or amused by James' triumphant grin. 'Forgive me, it slipped my mind earlier, what with being in such close proximity to excellent food - I must show you to your sleeping quarters.'

'Erm, Professor?'

'Yes, Miss Evans?'

'It might seem a little presumptuous for me to say, but, er, James and I can surely reach our dormitories safely-' she broke of, aware of the knowing looks Dumbledore and James were exchanging. If it was possible, James' smirk grew even wider. She narrowed her eyes.

'Professor-?

'I am referring to your _new _sleeping quarters.'

'Oh.'

'So, shall we go ahead?'

'…Pardon me?'

James placed a hand on her shoulder. She swatted it away. It was just a reflex. She knew she hadn't meant - oh, sod it; she couldn't be buggered about that now. What in Merlin's name was Dumbledore talking about?

James sighed and said patiently, 'The Heads' Dorm, Lily.' smiling, he continued, 'Our Dorm.'

…_What? _

'We'll be sleeping there. Together.' He slung an arm around her shoulders. Should he really be getting so much enjoyment out of this? Should _she_ be getting so much enjoyment out of this?

'In separate rooms of course, Mr Potter.' corrected Dumbledore, his mouth twitching. James' grin tapered considerably.

''Course, sir.'

'I'm assuming, Miss Evans will regain the ability to close her mouth soon?' She snapped her mouth shut, which had been dangling dangerously low in her attempt at "refined" incredulity.

'Marvellous. Let us proceed, then.'

Lily was aware that James' arm had shifted to her waist, which, naturally, made them walk closer together. She could have easily shrugged it off. But she didn't.

James winked at the woman in the Portrait of the Fat Lady as they passed; who bit her lip and put her hand to her mouth, giggling elatedly. Typical, Lily thought - frowning, even the portraits found him dishy. She groaned, apparently, James Potter had tarnished her vocabulary considerably. _Dishy_? She thought in disgust with an expression appropriate of someone who had been forced to inhale dung.

Dumbledore stopped abruptly at the pillar Lily had discovered a half hour ago, 'You'll find this is very much like the barrier at Kings Cross. Similar enchantments - although this will only be visible to the pair of you. I must be going, I have an appointment at the Hog's head in,' he looked down at his watch, which consisted of several shooting stars and various moons, 'Three minutes.' And with surprising speed, he lifted the hems of his robe up an inch and trotted down the stairwell.

Lily gave James a sidelong glance, he gestured for her to go forward. He looked apprehensive, 'Ladies first!' he tittered nervously. She rolled her eyes and took his hand and tugged him into the pillar. It seemed that she had tugged a little too hard:

'- Argh!'

'No, James -!'

'Oof!'

'Ouch!'

'That's my leg!'

'At least you know where yours is!'

'James?'

'Mmm?'

'Could you, possibly, get off me?

'Oh, Lily, if it were only that easy…'

'James! You're such a, a - oh, bugger, come here, you twit-'

'What are-mmmph?…mmm…'

She didn't know exactly what propelled her to tug him forward by the collar and kiss him. He moved his arms to her waist. Her fingers sought his chest. It was just a reflex. But she knew she had meant it.


	18. Oneshot 17: 13 Signs

13 Signs

Oneshot #17

By: EmeraldEyez1728

"—and today In Heads Duties she – "

"ARGHHHHH!" Sirius slammed his head against the polished wood table in the Gryffindor Common Room. The three marauders sat by the fire "_Muh-oony_ _he's doing it again,"_ he complained with too much irritability for James not to notice. It pulled him out of another Lily-mantra he landed in. He frowned.

"Doing what?"

"_It._" Sirius rounded on him "That _thing_," he described ever so clearly. "_It_." he hissed yet again.

"Please explain?" James turned to Remus, who was sitting in a red armchair reading _Magical Theory_ yet again. Sirius had a growing suspicion that Remus had actually read through the entire Hogwarts Library by their third year.

"You're going into a Lily-Daze. Again. You've been having them ever since fourth year. It's like epilepsy without medication. Your seizures are becoming more and more frequent," Remus theorized. Sirius sat there, rolling his eyes at Remus' ability to relate James' current condition to one with actual medical reasoning.

"If its an actual bloody medical condition, I'll be happy to perform europasia," Sirius grumbled, but raised a proud eyebrow, trying to see if anyone caught the word that he used.

"Euro--what?" James asked the incoherent Sirius. Sirius rolled his eyes at James' apparent ignorance.

"Europasia! You know, killing someone to put them out of their misery." Sirius tapped his nose. Remus shook his head as his friend continued to butcher the English language.

"Sirius, that's _euthanasia_ you're talking about."

Peter looked up from his Exploding Snap game and cocked his head to the side. "What do young Chinese people have to do with killing someone to put them out of their misery?" he asked with curiosity.

"Chinese people kill?!"

"Some Chinese people can kill—"

"This is quite an culture filled day for me. First I make out with that hot Japanese chick in Ravenclaw and now I learn that Chinese people kill?! Asia's totally AWESOME!"

"They obviously send the little ones to do their dirty work too, cus its _youth_ in Asia—"

"OH WOW! Is it like a Mob?! Are they murderers over there or something!?"

"No they apparently think what they're doing is good because they think they're putting someone out of their misery—"

"THEY TORTURE THEM BEFORE KILLING THEM!? COO.L!! I wanna live there. Peter we're taking a trip to China—"

"Sirius you'd be dead the second you opened your mouth."

"Way to be a party pooper Jamesy boy."

"It's what I live for—"

"No!!" Remus finally put an end to the madness "Not Youth in Asia, _euthanasia_."

"I fail to see the difference in pronunciation," Sirius proclaimed with a blank look.

"Well I don't care, that's the correct term! It is, by no means, europasia, Sirius."

"I'm a pasia, am I?" Sirius, who had the memory of a rodent, took his newly created word as an insult. "Yeah?!! Well you're a DUCK! Take THAT!"

Remus looked puzzled by Sirius' rebuttal. "How is a duck insulting?"

"They…quack and stuff? I don't know, they're just so bloody annoying! Sort of like James. I know I was trying to make a point earlier about him, remind me what it was again Moony?"

"That you're getting sick of listening to him?"

"That's it!" He rounded on James again and put on his "angry Sirius face". "I'm sick of listening to you!!"

James looked a bit shocked by this outburst. "Well Merlin Padfoot, all you had to do was stop me—"

"No! See that's the problem. I couldn't. I've seduced your process! You like to hear the sound of your own voice and then you tune out everyone else around you! It's a bloody nightmare! Why are you looking at me like I'm constipated…or even worse, is my hair messed up?!" Sirius rushed to a window that gave him a faint reflection so that he could check his hair. He flipped his head to give it a bouncy look and smiled brilliantly at the reflection before going back to James, who was still giving him a peculiar look. "Alright what is it?"

"Huh? Oh I'm sorry, I'm simply trying to figure out how one can…er…'seduce my process'." James quoted Sirius and went back to calculating. Sirius smiled smugly.

"Ha. Too smart for you? Too big a word for your brain to handle? Don't know what it means, Jamesy-Poo?" Sirius taunted James as James continued to work out how one can seduce a process. Remus shook his head warily, knowing that Sirius meant 'deduced' not 'seduced'.

Sirius saw this out of the corner of his eye and his smug expression faltered. "I know that gesture."

"What gesture?" Remus asked innocently. He then proceeded to do it again.

"That shake. That 'Moony Disapproves of Your Stupidness' head shake."

Remus shook his head again at the made up word 'stupidness'.

"You just did it again!" Sirius pointed an accusing finger at Remus.

"Did not!"

"I saw it!"

"I did no such thing."

"Are you mocking me, Moony?"

"Of course not!"

It took Sirius a moment to realize that he said this with mock sincerity.

"Yes! Yes you are! You just did it! Ooh you're a tricky one, Moony. I've got my eyes on you." He tried to make the clever 'I'm watching you' gesture, but ended up poking himself painfully in both eyes. "ARGH! MY EYES! I'M BLINDED MOONY! SAVE ME!" Sirius clamped his hands over his eyes.

"Hey how come Moony always gets to save you?" James said, indignant. "He just mocked you."

"You're right!" Sirius said with realization. Still keeping one hand over his blinded eyes, Sirius stuck another arm out in front of him and pathetically tried to "come to James' voice", but tripped over Peter, who was situated on the floor. "ARGH MY ANKLE!"

"Oh sweet Lord." Remus looked at the heap of bodies on the floor. "Sometimes I wonder why I hang around with you three," he said to the pathetic pile that James had joined involuntarily whilst trying to help up Sirius, but ended up being pulled down instead.

"I take offense to that and ACK! PETER YOUR KNEE IS DANGEROULSY CLOSE TO MY GROINAL AREA AND—" Sirius screamed in a falsetto voice, while James laughed uncontrably. "ALL THE WAY THERE. PETER REMOVE YOUR KNEE!"

"I CANT, JAMES' ELBOW IS IN MY SIDE!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA"

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE PRONGS!"

"I SIMPLY CANT TAKE YOU SERIOULSY WHEN YOU SOUND LIKE LILY WHEN SHE SINGS IN THE SHOWER."

"…what?"

"Uhm, no I don't spy on her while she bathes…what are you talking about…."

"REMOVE YOUR KNEE PETER!" One of Sirius' hands went to what he thought was his crotch, but actually ended up being James', which made him squeal like a girl, feeling very violated. James tried to push Sirius off, but ended up pushing Peter, whose knee went into Sirius' groin yet again.

Remus couldn't stop laughing.

"UGH THAT IS IT!" Sirius elbowed James in the stomach, causing him to roll off of Sirius' back and then rolled off of Peter himself. The three detangled boys, one injured in three places, sat on the floor sprawled out. "That is precisely why I NEVER want you to save me, Prongs." Sirius, his voice still dangerously resembling a soprano in the school choir,

"It was Peter's knee, not mine that um…hurt your bits," James explained through breaths of laughter.

"It went there through your efforts of saving me from falling, though."

At that moment, James saw a flash of red. He looked up and saw a rather attractive view of Lily Evans, while he was laying on the floor. She stood over him, Sirius and Peter as they lay there.

"The three of you are morons," she announced with her hands on her hips, but she could barely hide the grin that was tugging at her lips.

"Lacey pink undies today, Lils?" James asked, his eyes wandering up her skirt. All traces of a grin left her face as Lily looked appalled and had no hesitation in stomping on his face before turning to go upstairs to her dorm.

"She's gorgeous when she's disgusted with me," James sighed, barely noticing a slight trickle of blood coming from his nose. He rubbed it with a stupid grin on his face. _Lily made him bleed. That was __lily's__ work. Oh he taught her well. Involuntarily, but still. Baby steps._

"Prongs, can I ask you something?" Sirius looked over at him from his place on the carpet.

"Shoot."

"You're not mad at her for stomping your face in?"

"Not in the slightest. I'm proud of her. Good for her. If I were her I would have done the same thing to me."

"That doesn't make sense."

"It doesn't have to. Lily Evans just stomped on my face." He rubbed the spot again, lovingly. "That's totally one for the 'Contacts with Lily' notebook."

"Alright enough. I have a test for you Jamesy, "Sirius announced.

"Do you? You know, Lily always rubs her locket for good luck before a test."

"Yes, yes, I bloody know." Sirius' hand went to his pocket where his wand was.

"You know you could blow off a buttock if you keep your wand there," Peter pointed out.

"Thanks, Mum." Sirius grumbled sourly at Peter. "But I think my parts have been hurt enough for one day."

"I'm gonna laugh when your buttock blows off, Sirius."

"Love you too, Remus. _Accio Prongsy Poo's Test_." Sirius pointed the wand towards the boy's dorm rooms. A few moments later, a parchment whizzed down and landed in Sirius' hand. "There you are Prongsy. We need to know once and for all how you feel about Miss Evans before I go bloody insane."

"Alrighty Mr. Padfoot." James scurried over to where Sirius sat on the carpet. They gathered around the parchment that Sirius opened up and it revealed a—

"Padfoot this is nothing but a stupid list."

"Oi! This is not just 'a stupid list'. This is the key to survival. So marvel at it and worship it. This list is god. Ugh Prongs, don't bleed on god! Can we get the boy a tissue, for Merlin's sake!?"

Remus mentally did a healing spell much to James' dismay. "No! That was my proof of my contacts with Lily for the day!! She was the one that made me bleed. Now I have to go and touch her or something again as proof. Perhaps I can get her lacey pink underwear…."

Sirius watched him, a slight look of disgust and interest mingled on his face (the interest was because he hadn't seen Lily's lacey pink undies and therefore felt left out. He needed to see the undies in question and determine how lacey they were, whether or not they were flowery, boys briefs or bikini, thong or not, I mean there are MANY questions when one is inspecting underwear, in Sirius' opinion).

"This is your test. I want you to read it and, if you can think of an example for each, you…well I'll stop complaining, I suppose." Sirius lamely finished. James looked satisfied enough and sat by the fire. "C'mon mates, lets go to Hogsmeade. He'll be a while."

Peter, Remus and Sirius left James in the Common room with the list next to the fire.

**13 Signs You're In Love with Someone: **

**13. You can't stay mad at her for more than a minute or two. You have to actually try HARD to stay mad at them.**

James mused in the chair and rubbed his newly healed nose lovingly. He knew that if anyone else had done that to him, he would have to hurt them. But it wasn't just anyone that happened to break his nose. It was Lily. And that made it okay.

**12. You read any notes she might have passed you/recall any conversations you've ever had with her over and over again…**

"_Potter I'm going to need my Charms notes back to study for OWLs."_

"_Aw Evans, just gimme a little while longer with them. I'm dead in Charms, you know I am! I suck at it!"_

"_You suck at many things, Potter. Life for example. But I don't see you quitting that and ending your pathetic fifteen years, so hand them over."_

"_Lilyyyy"_

"_Potter!"_

"_Ha. You shouldn't have tried that, Lily."_

"_Seems to me that you're doing quite fine on Charms, Potter,"_

"_What makes you say that?"_

"_You turned my hair bright effing green. Again. Mentally. Now HAND THEM OVER!"_

"_Hey what are you –AHHH EVANS!"_

_Though he went through the rest of the day with a neon green sign attached to the back of his robes that read "I'm Flamboyantly Gay and Have Made out with Sirius Black," it was worth it just to look at her handwriting and the little hearts that she makes over her 'i's one more time…_

**11. You'll walk really REALLY slow when you're with her.**

"_Potter would you stop dragging your bloody feet? We're not even nearly done with Heads Rounds and with each corridor your supposed 'limp' gets worse and worse. Remind me what you did again?"_

"_Um…flying accident?"_

"_What sort?"_

"_I was attacked by a bowtruckle…on my broom? Yeah, it mistook my broom for a large tree and tried to nest in it and I swatted it away and it um…bit off my leg?"_

**10. You feel shy whenever you're with her, though you may not show it in the best ways. **

"_Bloody hell, James, you are in NO WAY blushing. God I hang out with pussies." _

"_I can't help it, Sirius. I don't know what's wrong with me! Remus help!"_

"_I can't do anything."_

"_Why the hell not!?"_

"_You've got a crush on her. Unless you'd like to walk around with women's make-up all day to conceal your blush every single time you see her, you are just going to have to deal with your—er—tint."_

"_Tint!? Ha! He looks like a friggen…bright red thing!"_

"_Good description, Sirius."_

"_Hehe. Lily. What a pretty name. How come I never noticed how pretty it is?"_

"_Oh my giddy aunt, did you just giggle?"_

"…_no…"_

"_JAMES! You disgrace me."_

_That day, James became a thirteen year old metro sexual, wearing some of Sirius' girlfriend's powder to cover up the odd red blush that crept up on him whenever Lily would look his way. _

**9. While thinking about her, your heart will beat faster and faster…**

"_WHAT THE DUCK!? MOONY WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME!?"_

"_What is it!"_

"_I'M DYING MOONY! DYING!"_

"_You are not dying, just shut the hell up and tell me what's wrong."_

"_Moony! My heart! I THINK I'M HAVING ONE OF THOSE ATTACK THINGIES!"_

"_Does your arm hurt?" _

"_which one?"_

"_Left."_

…

"_Oh for goodness sake, James, you don't know your right from your left by now?!"_

"_IT'S HARD FOR SOME PEOPLE! SOME PEOPLE THAT ARE CURRENTLY DYING!! MY HEART MOONY MY HEART! OH WOE IS ME! I'M GOING TO DIE! I'M THIRTEEN YEARS OLD AND I'M GOING TO DIE!"_

"_Shut UP!"_

…

"_That's better. Now, what's wrong?"_

"_MY HEART! ITS GOING LIKE THUMPER RABBIT FROM THAT BLASTEDLY CUTE CHILDREN'S MUGGLE MOVIE BAMBI THAT IS ECRETLY LOVE. SINCE I'M DYING, I DON'T CARE IF EVERYONE KNOWS! I'M A BAMBI LOVER!"_

"_James you're not dying."_

"…_oh. Did I mention I shaved this morning? Manly shaving. With aftershave after that. And I ahem…oh look my voice just dropped another octave and…"_

"_James I lent you the Bambi movie. I knew it wasn't sucked into a black hole in your closet, I know you like to watch it, its alright."_

"_OH and I can spit really far! Manly spit and…"_

"_James what about your heart?"_

"_God yeah, um my heart is beating really fast and I've got this feeling like I'm going up and down really really fast and I like it and…"_

"_what did you eat this morning?" _

"_Not much. I stared at Lily all morning. She ate toast with butter and cereal!"_

"_Ah.. Hahahaha."_

"_What's so funny?"_

"_Hahahahahha."_

"_What is so bloody funny? Are you laughing at Lily!? Because I know she has an unusual appitite, but that's no reason to laugh at her!"_

"_HAHAHAHAH"_

"_STOP LAUGHING!!!"_

**8. By listening to her voice, you'll smile for no reason.**

"_Potter I am trying to berate you for your behavior!"_

"_Yes Lily."_

"_Are you even listening to me?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_UGH! Potter you arrogant, insolent little…"_

_she's really pretty…._

"_AND WIPE THAT STUPID SMILE OFF YOUR FACE I AM __**YELLING AT YOU **__HERE! APPRECIATE IT!"_

"_I always do."_

**7. When looking at her, you can't see anyone else. **

"_What's he looking at, Moony?"_

"_Let him be, Sirius."_

"_I can't help it. It's like he's in a coma with his eyes open."_

"_Leave him alone, Siri."_

"_Let's throw things at him!"_

"_No—"_

"_Fine, Dad, Peter'll do it with me."_

"_Yay for throwing!"_

"_That's enough celebrating, Pete, McGonagall's looking at us."_

"_Sorry Sirius."_

"_Quite alright, good man."_

"_No what I was going to say was lets draw stuff on him instead!"_

"_I like the way you think my Muh-oony friend."_

"_Yeah, no big deal or anything but…well I'm a pretty huge deal."_

_James walked around all day with penises (or as teachers liked to describe them "rocketships") drawn on his cheeks and the attractive logo 'Make Love and Babies' penned across his forehead, but he didn't care. He realized that he was receiving strange looks from people, especially because just the week before he had a sign posted on his back that proclaimed his sexuality involved a preference for people of his same gender (compliments of Lily), but he didn't care. He looked at Lily all day, who was oblivious to it all. _

**6, You'll start listening to slow songs**

"_Thank youuuuuuu for loving meeeeee _

_For being my eyes _

_When I couldn't seeeeeeeee _

_For parting my lipssssssssss _

_When I couldn't breatheeeeeeeee _

_Thank you for loving meeeeeeeeee."_

"_Moony come and listen to this! HE'S DYING IN THERE!"_

"_Oh God is he singing in the shower again?"_

"_YEAH! No but seriously, is he okay? I think we should go in and rescue him."_

"_Remember what happened when you thought that yesterday when he butchered 'I wanna Hold your Hand' by the Beatles?"_

"_Yeah, but it was all in good fun!"_

"_You brought in a camera and took pictures of his nakedness."_

"…_Haha. Good times."_

"_What did you do with those pictures?"_

"_Oh they're on caution posters."_

"…_Caution Posters?!"_

"_Yeah. Here I've got a copy, read one."_

"'_Caution, sixteen year old boy, messy black hair, stupid grin, terrible singing voice, sounds like dying animal. Do not approach if he is singing and ask if he needs CPR. Might attack—see below picture.' Hmm that isn't a rather attractive photo of James."_

"_Nyeh, the ladies'll love it."_

"_He looks like a psychotic maniac."_

"_Oh well."_

"_A naked psychotic maniac."_

"_That. That's what I've done for him."_

"_Displayed his…parts all over the school?"_

"_For his fan-base."_

"_Some are still under the suspicion that he's gay, you know."_

"_Then its for his gay fan-base. See, he has one half of the school and I have the other half. If his half consists of more of the males, then more for me!"_

"_You're beyond help, Sirius. Totally incorrigible."_

_Lily wasn't too pleased with the photos, but her ears got red when she took every one of them down._

**5. She becomes all you think about**

"_James wanna play a pick up game of Quidditch?"_

"_Lily doesn't like Quidditch, you know. I don't understand how she can't dislike Quidditch! It's so likable."_

"_You say that about yourself. Look how that's turning out."_

"_You know Lily always says I say things about myself. I think that's rather silly don't you. That's just Lily. She's silly. Silly Lily. Hey that rhymes! Lily likes things that rhyme…poetry you know? Lily likes poetry by this dead dude named Emily Dickinson, you know. She taught me one. It was about love. It was kinda nice. She's kinda nice. I like her."_

"_Ugh. Wanna go and get some lunch, mate?"_

"_Lunch. Lily likes lunch. Hey! I'LL SEE HER THERE! C'mon Padfoot lets go!"_

"_YOU'RE HOPELESS! Hey stop pushing, STOP PUSHING! OW!"_

**4. You know the way she smells and you absolutely love it.**

"_Did you know Lily likes to wear the Lily of the Valley perfume I got her for Valentine's Day? My perfume!! I love that perfume on her. She smells amazing. And the perfume smell has traveled to all her books so when I borrow her charms notes to study for OWLs, I'll get to smell her too! HOW EXCITING! I want to smell her now. Hey! Lily! OI! EVANS!"_

"_James?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Stop waving. Someone might see you."_

"_That's the point, Moony!"_

"_No, someone might see you with me."_

**3. You realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think of her. **

James tried this one. He pictured her eyes, her hair, her Lily of the Valley perfume, her smile, her laugh, the way she walks, the way she talks, the way she bites her lower lip when she's not sure of something and when she's worried about someone…

He felt his lips curl into a smile.

**2. You'll do anything for her**

"_Why did you do that?" _

"_Do what, Lily?" _

"…_Why did you come back for me? Death Eaters attack Hogsmeade and all you care about is my safety?"_

…

"_Po—James?"_

"_Because it wouldn't matter if I lived after that. If you…well if you—yeah."_

"_No."_

"_No what, Lily?"_

"_Don't walk away. Finish it."_

"_If you didn't live through it, then I wouldn't want to."_

"_Wow."_

"_What?"_

"_You've done it. You've grown up."_

"_Yeah well, I turned 17 last month…"_

"_No, that's not what I—"_

"_Yeah. I know what you mean."_

"_Well, I'm a bit tired."_

"_Yeah I'm off to bed too. Night Lily."_

"_G'night…James."_

James lost himself in that one memory. Death Eaters in Hogsmeade. Utter chaos. The near loss of Lily.

He shuttered. He never wanted to go through that again. The very thought made his insides ache with pain. Never. Never would he ever live without her. Living without her wasn't living at all. He reflected on all the times they had had together.

First through Seventh year. Borrowing notes just to look at her handwriting. Laughing with her seldomly, but it felt right when they reached silent truce at some intervals throughout the years; then, opening his mouth and spoiling every civilized conversation he had with her with some stupid remark about her body or something else degrading.

He scanned the page. His eyes found number one.

**1. While reading this there was one person you thought about the entire time. **

One person that he loved.

**X-X-X**

Sirius clutched the note in his hand that he shared with Lily in Potions.

_Oi, Evans_

**What?**

_How do you know when you're in love?_

…**You're in love?**

_No, it's not for me. Just write it down, I have no time to explain. It's just really important. Please._

…**Alright…**

And she did. She wrote it down. 13 things.

Sirius made a list out of them.

A test that everyone but Lily knew James would pass.

**X-X-X**

"_And now, its time for the vows. The bride and groom had prepared their own. Please, James, you first."_

_Lily clutched the note that Sirius had given back to her. The note they wrote their seventh year in potions class. On a Tuesday. Lily liked to remember things. _

_James took out a folded piece of paper, that had a few dried flecks of blood on it. The list that Sirius had given him in their seventh year. On a Wednesday. James liked to date things. It made it much easier than remembering stuff off the top of his head._

"_Lily, there are some signs that a person looks for when they're in love. Thirteen to be approximate. You know you're in love with someone when…"_

_And he listed them. All thirteen of them. _

"_James, when we were in school, I kept trying to come up with a reason not to be with you. First I thought it was your arrogance, your pride, your ability to do everything right the first time. I just couldn't figure out what everyone saw in you. _

"_And then one day in our seventh year. A Tuesday, actually, I was asked write down how you know when you're in love. And I thought. And I listed. _

"_And when I was writing them down, I realized something. You fit them perfectly. All thirteen of them."_

**X-X-X**

"_Lily, Harry won't stop crying."_

"_I fed him. Did you change him?"_

"_I have to do that?"_

"_You can smell it. if he doesn't need to be changed, then he doesn't—_

_er—send you signals."_

"_Nope, he smells lily-of-the-valley fresh."_

"_Did you realize they made that in baby powder?"_

"_You learn something new every day, eh?"_

"_Suppose so. Did you try burping him?"_

"_Yep."_

"_Maybe he's tired."_

"_Nope. Lily I think he wants to hear it…"_

"_Oh for god's sake NO James. I don't want our baby to turn out deaf."_

"_C'mon!! He likes it!"_

"_Ughh."_

…

"_Fine, if you must."_

"_Yay! You want Daddy to sing, don't you? Yes. _

_Ahem…  
Thank youuuu for loving meeeeee _

_For being my eyes _

_When I couldn't seeeeee _

_For parting my lipssssss _

_When I couldn't breatheeeeee _

_Thank youuuuu for loving meeeeee."_


	19. Oneshot 18: I fell in love

I fell in love

Oneshot #18

By: Horsebookworm

I had never, in all of my Hogwarts year, truly smiled. It was all pretend. I had fooled each and every person.

No exceptions.

Many would ask why. I would reply, "I died when I was 11 years old."

They would then ask what had happened. And I would reply, "My family murdered me."

They never meant to kill me, they never meant it. They loved me, that is, until they found out about my "condition". I was a witch.

In the wizard way of life, I was normal. Perhaps even considered genius. But, then again, no one ever saw me for what I was.

I had been a happy child, but when my sister and parents had found out, they became uninterested. I was merely there.

I remember when I received my letter.

"_Mommy!" my sister screeched. "There is an owl in the living room." _

"_Oh my goodness!" My mother stood and stared at it. I came into the room, and looked at its white feathers. I noticed that it had a letter in its talons. His head swiveled around as he saw me. I stood in shock as he dropped the letter into my hands and flew out the window. _

"_Well, open it!" my mother exclaimed. _

_With shaking fingers, I opened it, and read it out aloud. _

_Dear Miss Evans, _

_We are proud to inform you that you have been accepted Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. _

_I didn't read anything after that. My mother screamed and fainted. I sat down and moaned. I knew that they wouldn't take it well. _

I thought I had tricked everyone with my charade. In Hogwarts, I was the popular, smart and joyful Gryffindor girl. I smiled, danced and lived life.

To me, I was nothing. I hated myself.

I was even ready to kill myself, especially after one Christmas Break.

_I sighed. They had forgotten me, again. They never arrived to pick me up from the train station. _

_I walked out through the barrier and hailed down a taxi. _

"_294 Point Avenue, please." I said softly as I sat back. The ride was quick and I paid the taxi driver before he drove off. _

"_I'm home!" I called out as I entered my house, which could have been called a mansion. My parents were rich. _

"_Oh my!" my mother said. "We forgot about you." _

"_I realized." I spoke softly, not looking at my mother. It was a rule in our house, and my mother always demanded respect. _

_It was the start of a nightmare. They didn't say one word to me all break, just "Go to bed." and "We will be back later."_

_It got even worse when I boarded the Hogwarts train. _

"_Mudblood," Bellatrix Black sneered in my face. I used my poker face and looked uninterested. _

_I then forgot my cat on the train, which he was luckily returned, and lost my robes._

_I was ready to kill myself. _

Then I figured out he knew.

James Potter, my mortal enemy who was crazy for me. I can still remember his words when he caught me about to jump from the Astronomy Tower.

"_How did you know?" I asked. He was holding my waist right at the edge of the Tower; my foot was suspended over the cliff._

"_Your eyes have always held a sadness that only I saw. They were terrified." He looked straight into my eyes._

That's when I knew he cared. That's when I decided to give him a chance that he had been asking for. So, I kissed him.

It was the shock of his life.

I kissed him with everything I knew, and he kissed me back. It felt like I had been hit with a bolt of lightening.

_I kissed him tenderly. After a few moments, he kissed me back. My tears mixed and spread onto both of ours faces. I broke off and leaned against him, tears pouring down my face. He just held me and let me cry, soothing me with his words. _

I realized I loved him.

_I stared at my boyfriend, and watched as he danced around me, shrieking with laughter at my hair. He and his friends had turned every person's hair in the whole school the color they hated. Mine was now a bright orange. _

"_James Potter!" I yelled at him. "Turn it back!" _

_He stopped dancing and stood in front of me, smirking._

"_No." And then he kissed me. _

_I pulled away from him, glaring. _

"_You don't get to kiss me until you change it back." I stared menacingly at him, trying to hide my smile. _

_He looked at me, sighed, changed it and then kissed me. That's when I realized I was in love with him. _

"_I love you." He said, surprising me with it first. He looked down at me, trying to figure out what I was going to say._

"_I love you too." I said softly looking into his eyes. He smiled gently and kissed me again._

We were in love with each other, something I would have never thought would happen.

And I was happy.


	20. Oneshot 19: I’m Just As Mad About You

I'm Just As Mad About You

Oneshot #19

By: XxStephXx

I am freaking out. I think I just did a terrible humiliating bad thing. It was really bad… well alright not bad really, really great, in fact. But the point is the really great thing was bad, awful and possibly soul destroying. Okay, okay I know I'm rambling. I'm sorry, I tend to that when I freak out. I should probably explain a few things.

I am Lily Evans: Seventh Year, Head Girl at Hogwarts, and I just had sex with James Potter in the Room of Requirement. Does that make me a slutty skank? Oh my I slept with Potter, I hate the sluts that sleep with Potter they giggle and boost his ego, which is already the size of Brazil. Alright I'm not being entirely fair, he isn't _as_ arrogant anymore, and he doesn't sleep around now either.

So now the bloody git is asleep. We are lying in a bed completely starkers, and that lazy, no-good, bloody gorgeous git is asleep. What happens now? Oh big surprise, this is the Head Girl's first one-night stand. I don't know what usually happens now… do I get up and leave before he wakes up? Do we talk about it or just pretend it never happened? Uh oh, he's stirring… no wait he's just shifting postion… eek he's really close to me now.

Actually now that I get a closer look at him, he's got a magnificent body, I mean seriously yummy. How did I not notice this earlier? It's those damn robes making him hide that gorgeous, fit body. Sculpted smooth abs, really soft skin, and yes, I am stroking his scrumptious chest but it doesn't mean anything because he is asleep and he isn't aware of it.

Now that I think about it I am actually quite tired myself, great sex is really quite exhausting. Potter must never know that I thought what just happened was great… although the screaming might have given it away… ah well, Potter isn't that bright. Again, that isn't technically true he always gets great marks in lessons, although all boys are a little dense aren't they?

I'll just rest my head here on his yummy chest, and rest my eyes. Then if he wakes up I can claim I was asleep the whole time.

Oh crap he is moving, I think I woke him. I can feel him moving under me… oh he groaned. That's a little cute… or is it? Maybe he groaned because he regrets it and he was hoping I was gone. I'm closing my eyes tighter now, maybe if I keep them shut it will all go away. I can feel his hand, it's surprisingly soft for a Quidditch player, they are touching my shoulders. Why is he sighing? Oh Merlin he really regrets it, he doesn't fancy me anymore. How inconvenient, he hassles and annoys me for over a year and then just as he become a hot, decent human being that I could potentially feel something for or even love, he decides that he isn't interested!

"Even asleep, you're still beautiful," he yawns, slipping his arms around my body.

Oh isn't he sweet. He called me beautiful, not hot or 'damn fine.' Alright I admit it I have fallen for the Potter charm, but can you really blame me? Not only is he so yummy you would want to eat him—seriously he is that hot—but he is so sweet too. Now I'm cuddling into him, he even smells great sort of a mixture of freshly cut grass and aftershave. Aw… he kissed the top of my head, I hope he didn't get hair in his mouth.

I am actually seriously tired now, I might just go for a tiny nap. At least I know Potter isn't running a mile, in fact he seems quite content to lie here, unless he's fallen asleep.

-----------------------------------------------

I open my eyes and my heart sinks. How long had I been asleep? He was gone. And to think I actually thought he cared, I guess I was his trophy. Now he can brag that there isn't a girl in Hogwarts he can't get. How could I be so bloody stupid as to fall for him? He is… okay I am officially pathetic, I'm crying over Potter. I really thought he had changed, I thought he cared. I guess I thought he was different. I should just get dressed and leave.

Alright I'm dressed now, I have to go and shower and wash Potter off me. I can still smell him. Is it wrong that I miss him even though he is an asshole? Yeah, it is wrong, but I still miss him. But you know what, I'm not going to mope and be pathetic. I am going to smile, be happy, look fabulous and completely ignore him. I will only mope and be depressed in the privacy of my own bed.

Oh what's that on the door? Has that bloody git left a brush off note? He has! Maybe I should read it anyway?

**Lily,**

**I am so sorry, I had to go we have a Quidditch match in about three minutes. I would have woken you but you looked so peaceful. I'm sorry again. Please stop plotting my untimely demise, I am so so sorry. Will you please talk to me later, or at least let me talk and not punch or hex me?**

**James xxxx**

Awwwww. I might make him sweat a little for leaving me for a GAME OF QUIDDITCH! But that is sweet, I think I scare him a little. I should be really mad and indignant at his insensitivity. But I was real bitch to him when he sometimes didn't deserve it so I might let it slide this time.

Alright I have decided I'm going to watch the game, just to see him now that I know what is under those robes. I'm so much more interested in what he looks like on a broom… tensing and all.

---------------------------------------

I missed it! Just as I got to the Quidditch pitch the game ended. At least the James caught the snitch. I would be seriously cheesed off if I had missed the whole thing _and_ Slytherin won.

I can see him, his hair is all messy and cute. Do I sound like a pathetic groupie? You know what, I don't care if I do because he is hot and OH MERLIN HE'S SPOTTED ME! He's smiling at me guiltily as if he thinks I'm about to scream at him. He's coming towards me… what do I do? Do I kiss him or slap him? Perhaps both.

Wait Sirius just stopped him, he was so close too. Damn you Sirius Black! Wait he's still coming towards me, despite Sirius trying to pull him back. That's quite nice that he just pushed his best mate to the ground to get to me. Alright he is standing in front of me now, this would be a really good time to say something only I can't seem to speak I can only look at him.

"POTTER! HIT THE SHOWERS NOW!" Madam Hooch screamed at him. Oh oops, I had forgotten that showers after Quidditch were mandatory at Hogwarts… I wonder if they all shower together AHHH bad thoughts. SAY SOMETHING LILY, ANYTHING!

"Coming," he shouts, looking away from me. Oh damn, he's going now and I still haven't said anything.

He leans in and kisses my cheek, very gentleman-like.

"You know I'm crazy about you, right?" he whispers, before pulling away.

"I know," I reply cheekily, then I kiss his cheek and whisper to him. "I'm just as mad about you, although if you ever abandon me for a game of Quidditch, I will castrate you and pickle the family jewels."

"Sorry about that," he grins sheepishly. You know what, I think I might love James Potter.

Who knew?


	21. Oneshot 20: Why I Hate Him

Why I Hate Him

Oneshot #20

By: xxpiratexx

Why I hate him 

By: Lily Evans

-He's an arrogant, pompous, self-centered, JERK!

-He's always hitting on me.

-He's always asking me out.

-He's always giving me embarrassingly expensive presents on occasions such as Christmas and Valentine's Day.

…_Um…I think I've run out of reasons._

Why I Love Him

By: Lily Evans

_I could come up with hundreds of reasons why._

-He's bloody smexy!

-I love his hair.

-I admire his Quidditch abilities.

-He's so….JAMES!

-He loves me.

-I love him.

-He gives me embarrassingly expensive presents on occasions such as Christmas and Valentine's Day.

-He's my favorite person in the world.

-He's so fun to be with.

-And last but not least…we're getting married tomorrow.

AN:

Due to some circumstances, I have made some changes to this oneshot, WITH the permission of the author. I merely changed the italics, bolding, and deleted/added two-four words.

The original can be found on the author's profile.


	22. Oneshot 21: Lily's Habit

Lily's Habit

Oneshot #21

By: MarcoLover16

James doesn't mind annoying habits, considering he has many of his own, so it really wouldn't be fair to judge anyone else's. He handles them with patience, tolerance, and mostly manages to ignore them.

James really doesn't mind the fact that when she studies, she has a tendency to click her teeth together noisily. In fact, he happens to find that particular trait rather endearing.

He also has no problem whatsoever with Lily's constant battles with him. One in particular had left him with a sore knee all day, and James believed it had started with an argument based on whether or not he was going to patrol with her that night. Evidently, his answer had been the wrong one.

James' fellow marauders also had their annoying habits, as does everyone. But James could ignore them, maybe not love them the way he did Lily's, but just stop paying attention.

But, for the love of Merlin, James could not stand Lily's nail biting. What made him so much angrier was that he didn't know why. There was something about the sound that made chills run through his entire body. Unpleasant chills.

Only he'd never _said _anything to his girlfriend, of course. Working so hard to get a girl to fall in love with him was difficult, and though he did find some enjoyment (which wasn't to ever be repeated) in making her angry, he would not stoop so low as to cause an argument over her nail biting. She couldn't help it, after all.

And _imagine _losing the love of one's life because she couldn't stop biting her nails? What an embarrassing thing that would be to tell people.

James could see it clearly. "I loved her so much. I worked seven long years to make her feel the same—well, really six—and she finally accepted me! We always annoyed the hell out of one another, naturally, but it was in a good way. We said we'd be together forever."

"What happened?" someone would ask sympathetically.

James would have to reply with. "I told her I couldn't stand the fact that she was a nail biter. One of _those _people."

There was always the other scenario, in which Lily would be put into Azkaban for killing her boyfriend, and her reason would be, "He offended me." Strangely, James could actually see that happening. He could also see the guards letting her go, due to the fact that she threatened them.

James decided to mention that situation to Sirius, who laughed out loud, and rolled his eyes at James' anxiety. "Please," he said, "like the Azkaban guards would let anyone leave."

James sighed. "You're missing the point."

"Am I?" asked Sirius, clearly amused.

"She's just…don't underestimate her powers. She can be scary."

"Oh, I'm sure," said Sirius with a roll of his eyes.

So, sitting across from Lily in the library on a sunny June afternoon, James decided to cautiously bring the topic up.

"Lily?" he said softly, closing his eyes, and wrapping his arms around himself to prevent a possible attack.

He carefully opened an eye, seeing Lily look up from her book. "Mhmm?" she said, innocently enough.

James had been afraid to disturb her, but since she was patiently awaiting his question, he went on. "I have to talk to you."

Lily nodded slowly, noticing her boyfriend's serious tone. "Well," she prompted, "what?"

James changed his mind, eyes widening. No, he was too afraid. Lily would kill him. Yes, she would be angry—or—was he just being ridiculous? Of course he was!

But as soon as that thought came to him, he became nervous again, as Lily was looking annoyed. "James, maybe I'll just finish this homework up, and you can go upstairs, and I'll meet you," she sighed.

"No!" he said. "I—I want to sit here with you," he said, smiling convincingly. Maybe it could wait. He didn't have to tell her at the very moment. Maybe he didn't at all! She hadn't done—he spoke—or thought—too soon.

Just as soon as he had smiled, thinking everything was all right, she did it. It was very quiet, so inconspicuous that any other may not have noticed it, but James did.

He was going to _have _to get over it. So, the girl bites her nails. Was it really that big of a deal?

Oh, he reminded himself after hearing it again, that it was. How on earth could she concentrate on her homework with that sound? James could barely even hear his own thoughts, but he was sure they had something to do with the 'talk' they needed to have.

"Okay," she said, finally, which meant her nails came away from her mouth, "I'm almost done."

"With the homework?" he asked.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Of course, the homework. What else am I doing?" she asked, chuckling.

James smiled, even though he didn't want to; she had a tendency to make him do that. He didn't want to reply with, "I hoped you meant the nails." So, he didn't.

He continued to watch her do her homework, his already finished ages before. Lily didn't accept his help. Therefore, he was forced to watch her struggle with it for over two hours.

Lily really was beautiful. He loved moments like these (even with the disturbing sounds coming from her hand) where he could just watch her, spinning her quill around in the air as she thought. (Honestly, _how_ did she hold that quill while biting? James wondered if he'd already asked himself that question…)

James could not even concentrate on her beauty while she did that.

Really, the main thing he wanted to know was why she did it, and, of course, why it bothered him more than anything else in the world, but mainly, why she did it.

Was it fun? Did she enjoy it? It wasn't as though she were making them look better. Truthfully, she'd ripped them down to the point where one could barely tell they were nails anymore. So, why? Did she think James loved hearing the sound?

If so, she was definitely wrong.

"Done," she announced, slamming her books shut. She smiled, taking her hand away from her mouth. _Thank Merlin._

James could now smile easily as he took her hand in his own. "Good," he said, leaning down to kiss her.

"Thanks for staying with me. I suppose it was rather boring," she said, pushing her hair off of her shoulder before throwing her bag over it.

James shrugged. "No problem," he said, taking three books that didn't fit in her bag. In his opinion, she carried a bit too much.

They walked out of the library in silence, not a spine-chilling, nail-biting (literally) sound in the air.

"So, what did you have to talk about before?" Lily asked curiously, still clutching his hand tightly.

Could he do it? Could James possibly broach the, up until (possibly) now, forbidden topic?

"Nothing, Lily," he said, smiling down at her. _Coward._

Lily, however, now knew that it was something less-than trivial. Otherwise, he would have been fine saying it, so she pressed him. "What is it? Tell me. Right now."

She wasn't biting them, so it was fine. He needn't talk about it if it weren't happening, right?

"Is—is something wrong?" she asked.

Another thing about Lily was, she always jumped straight to the worst possible conclusion. Perhaps, by his silence, she'd already concluded that James was about to meet a painful and untimely death, and she was already trying to find a way to prevent it before James even got his words out. It was a trait he knew and adored about her, her worrying, (as much as he told her she needed to calm down) so _why _couldn't he feel that way about her—he gulped—biting?

There it was again. She stopped in the middle of their way to the Common Room to drop her bag for better access to bite her nails. It was definitely obsessive.

"James, you're scaring me, and I'll get angry…tell me, or I'll yell," she said.

James fought the urge to laugh. If only she knew that it wasn't something to worry her, only his annoyance at her incessant…well, he didn't need to say it to himself again. "Relax," he said, trying to take her hand, partly to calm her, and partly to make her stop.

"Are—are you," she started, unsure of what, exactly, she was worrying about. "Oh! Are you going to break up with me?"

James' mouth fell open. "Are you _serious?" _he asked. There she was, creating these ideas from jumping to the _worst _possible conclusions again. "Of course not!"

"Oh," she said, blinking. "Well, then," she resumed the nail-biting, "what is it?" she asked.

James decided he might as well let her know. After all, if she was nervous enough to think it had something to do with breaking-up, he had to give her the cold, hard, truth.

"Well, I—"

"Yeah?" she said quickly. What was she even biting anymore? Skin?

"Why do you do that?!" he asked, unable to handle it anymore.

James was suddenly glad that it was sunny out, and most students were taking advantage of the day by walking around the grounds. Before, he'd been annoyed he couldn't join in, but now he was happy his girlfriend hadn't wanted him to. That way, this silly conversation between them couldn't be overheard.

Lily, instead of looking angry as he thought she'd be, laughed slightly, and furrowed her brow in a confused sort of way. "Do what?" she asked, her hand rather close to her mouth, but she'd stopped biting.

"Chew…" he said awkwardly, "the nails."

Lily actually laughed again, and the sound filled James' ears, making relief course through his entire body. She wasn't angry.

"Oh, but don't _ever," _she said, breathing heavily as she tried to stop laughing, "freak me out again with the whole 'we need to talk' business."

"Okay," said James obediently, smiling as he watched her amusement. "I'm sorry."

Lily waved off his apology, smiling. "You really hate it?" she asked. James nodded. "Why do I do it?" James nodded quickly at that, really interested to know. He was sure it wasn't any of the suggestions he'd made to himself before (such as her enjoying it, or thinking he enjoyed it).

She smiled, as though she'd been waiting for him to ask, as though she watched his repulsed face every time she'd finished doing it, as if she knew it bothered him.

"It's not a choice," she said. "I do it when you make me nervous."

He made her nervous? He made Lily nervous? James wasn't sure if he could get that around his bewildered mind. He, of course, had his nervous habit that drove Lily up the wall. Running his hand through his hair. It killed her, and he knew it, and she knew he did it out of nerves.

But _he _made _her _nervous? The thought made him giddy, for some strange reason. When he took a moment to think about it, he did notice she really only did it when he made her worry…or if he happened to be incredibly forward with her. Hell, he'd even noticed it happening right before the first time he kissed her.

And she'd never been so nervous around anyone else, so he was actually rather flattered.

James was determined to get used to it. After all, she dealt with his irritating hair stunt, and besides, she only did it for him.

Somehow, that made the irritating, spine- chilling, suicide- inducing, sound of the nail- biting so much sweeter.

However, he would have to stop making her nervous so frequently, or she'd end up the woman without any nails…but this was Lily.

She'd find a way to make them ever lasting. Perhaps with a spell, or perhaps she'd just yell at them. Either way would work for Lily Evans.


	23. Oneshot 22: Our Flag Is White

Our Flag Is White

Our Flag Is White

Oneshot #22

By: Zhangie.

Lily sat, doodling on a fresh piece of parchment. Her seventeenth of the day. Doodle that is.

As in, one Lily Evans, was doodling on her seventeenth piece of fresh parchment.

Two days ago, Lily would have thought that was ridiculous. The waste of fine material! The precious resource! It didn't help that while Lily was well-fed, learnt from some of the best teachers in Europe and slept comfortably every night in a fresh-sheeted, four poster bed every night, her parents slaved away to pay for it all. Last she'd heard her mother had taken up a part-time job at the local fast food outlet, juggling her time between that and night shifts as a nurse. Yes, Lily was being scandalous in every single way.

It was only just the other night when-- No. Lily told herself rather adamantly. She was not to think about those vivid images.

Ah – but you readers must already know that the one and only Lily Evans was deeply attracted to the one and only, James Potter. And this writer would even dare to say, that Lily was insanely in love with him.

So one must realise that Lily was dreaming about this one special, special Head Boy. And here the writer would again like to add, every night, because it is the truth, (much to Lily's horror).

Silly Lily, she mustn't realise that when one dreams of a boy, quite frequently (this writer adds); one is undeniably attracted to them, perhaps even having an amount of non-platonic feeling for them.

Something, which although becomes increasingly clear to Lily's friends, has not been polite enough to do so, for Lily herself.

So there Lily was, doodling on some parchment. Not noticing the apple of her eye had entered the Common Room.

Of course, the stupid git had to walk right pat her on his way up to his room. And of course he had to say, "Hey Lily," jolting her out of her reverie, making her look down and notice the psychologically scarring words, in rapidly drying black ink:

_Mrs. Lily Potter._

And because Lily could think about it, there was far too many "t's" on that particularly piece of parchment for her liking.

If Lily were to be completely truthful to us readers, than she would tell us that the merrily burning fire was somewhat due to her many balls of wasted resources.

Lily felt the eerie sense of someone watching her, and slowly, with dread, looked up to meet the hazel eyes of James Potter.

Looking at him straight in the eye, made Lily's knees go weak, but she still had enough mobile brain cells to figure out the predicament she'd be in if he saw the contents of her parchment. Slowly, she gathered up the parchment and lifted the piece up while saying; "James."

She can't help but notice that he is looking very scrumptious indeed while peering at her parchment.

Peering at her parchment.

Lily, whose mind is blank, couldn't even begin to wonder as to why he would do so and decided to peer at the piece as well.

To Lily's horror, her newly completed Transfiguration paper proudly bore the name _Lily Potter_ on the top left hand corner.

The next word that left Lily's mouth was probably not suitable for the second years nearby.

Not to mention her fellow Head was standing in front of her with a small smile on his face.

"Well Evans," he broke the awkward silence – where Lily was frantically searching for other items of homework titled Lily Potter.

"I never knew you felt that way."

Lily looked up as he gave a last loping smile before sauntering off.

It was when James reached the bottom of the boys' staircase that Lily came to her senses.

Which is to say – everything clicked.

She realised what all of us had realised long ago.

She Lily Evans liked James Potter.

So maybe she hadn't realised everything yet. But things like that take time, and we readers will have to give her that.

The writer supposes we must applaud her because she (very stupidly, she thought later) called out his name.

"James."

He was halfway up the stairs, nearly out of sight, but he turned to look at her, a small smirk on his face.

"Yes," he paused, for effect, "Lily."

She had never noticed before but the way he said her name made her shiver, made her breath catch in her throat, made her heart flutter.

He must have stepped down, and she a few up, because before Lily realised, they were standing a step apart, their faces flushed for not apparent reason. She can't help but think that he looks rather endearing like that, but now is not the time to tell him. There will be other times, she supposes. She realises. She hopes.

She feels rather daring, looking at him like that, so she closes the gap with one step and she could practically hear his heart beating, her own thudding in her ears.

She looks up, and isn't at all surprised when their noses brush against each other, though she should be. She should be.

She can feel his breath on her lips and it makes her shiver, lick her lips, anticipate.

His hesitation is killing her and Lily is tired of being pursued. She wants him to snare her. To catch her. To take the lead once more.

She makes to leave, a small smile on her face, turning around before he grabbed her wrist.

"Lily, don't."

The tone of his voice makes her shiver. The command, the power, all James. God, she loved it. She loved it.

Yes, Lily decided as she looked into his eyes, she did love that about one James Potter.

And as he kissed her for the first time, on the fourth step leading to the boys' dormitory, she couldn't help but smile, almost in a way, triumphantly.

Oh, there would definitely be other times.


	24. Oneshot 23: Lung Like His Mother

Lungs Like His Mother

Oneshot #23

By: siriusly klutzy

My wife, in one word, is beautiful. Now, most guys will say that about their wives, but they're all liars. Mine is the best and the beautifulest. She gave birth to our son, Harry, four months ago. He's the perfect mixture with her eyes and my features, making him the best looking child on the planet. I'll admit, he can be a handful sometimes, but he's a good kid. Really.

I'd just gotten home one night from work and was about to read the Daily Prophet.

"James," Lily said to me. She walked into the living room with Harry on her hip. He was drooling happily, one hand clutched in her hair, pulling it rather hard by the looks of it, and the other in his mouth. He pulled the hand out of his mouth and grabbed Lily's nose. "James, please take Harry. I need the rest of the day off."

Because I'm at work most of the day, Lily stays home with Harry for their Mummy/Harry time. Daddy/Harry time comes after the paper. It normally involves changing a fair amount of diapers, playing, giving him a bottle, playing some more, and then putting him to bed.

"Sure, love," I said. I put my paper down and walked over to get the slimy Harry. Before I grabbed the baby, I kissed Lily on her drool covered cheek (courtesy of Harry, of course). "Just let me floo Sirius."

Harry cooed happily at Sirius's name. Despite the fact that the first time Sirius held him and he ended up levitating upside down, Harry loved Sirius. (Lily claimed that he ended upside down because he inherited my big head. I told her that this post-pregnancy thing left her insane for I never had a big head. I had to sleep on the couch that night.)

I flooed to Sirius's place and grabbed him by the scuff of his robes, claiming we had a mission. He grinned and said, "Does it involve girls in skimpy clothing?"

I rolled my eyes. He still forgets the fact that I'm a happily married man.

"No. We have to watch Harry."

This seemed to be just as good for he flooed back to my place.

Lily was sitting cross-legged on the ground playing with Harry. Her hair was still a mess from Harry pulling it and there were wet spots of drool on her shirt.

"I phoned Alice, we're going to go shopping and stay out late," Lily said with a smile. She hadn't had a night out with just her and Alice in a long time. They were both pregnant at the same time, so they shared those qualities. But really, what can two pregnant women do?

"Shopping? I thought you said it _didn't _involve girls in skimpy clothing," Sirius whispered to, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Shut up," I said, stomping on his foot.

Lily looked at us curiously but said nothing.

"I'm just going to change and then I was going to apparate over. Thanks so much, James," she pecked me on the cheek, which still to this day makes my stomach turn. "And you, too Sirius." She stood on tiptoe and hugged him.

Sirius held out the bottom of his shirt. "Errghh." There were faint drool spots on his shirt as well.

We both looked down at the drooling baby who was laying there happily on his blanket.

"Now what?" Sirius asked. He sat down on the couch.

I shrugged. "We wait."

"Bye James! Sirius! Thanks again!" Lily called from upstairs before a _crack! _was heard.

Harry was holding his stuffed dog, (bigger than your average dog, kind of scruffy, and black. A gift from Sirius.) named Snuffles. One of the ears was drenched with drool.

"Poor Snuffles," Sirius commented, shaking his head pathetically at the soaked dog.

Harry sucked on the ear a bit more before dropping it next to him. His lower lip jutted out and a single tear appeared in his eye. Quickly, Sirius and I exchanged looks.

"Harry," I said quietly. "Harry, don't cry. Daddy's here! And he brought Snuffles!" I held up the wet dog.

Sirius knelt down next to me. "Uncle Sirius is here too!" He stuck his tongue out at Harry, but that was the trigger. Harry let out a monstrous wail, causing both Sirius and I to cover our ears. He's definitely got his mother's lung power.

"What do we do?" I yelled over Harry, looking at Sirius desperately.

"I don't know! _You're _the father!"

He had a point.

I scooped up Harry and tried to quiet him down.

"What normally makes him stop?" Sirius asked after five minutes of screaming.

"I don't know! A bottle?" Sirius dashed off to the kitchen and emerged with a full bottle. I took it from him and placed it in Harry's open mouth. He whimpered for a second before he sucked happily on it. His green eyes looked up at me like I was God.

Or just the man who gives him food.

Within ten minutes that thing was sucked dry.

I handed Harry to Sirius and went to wash the bottle. When I got back to the living room, Sirius was lying on the floor and on his head was Harry, who had clumps of Sirius's hair in his hand and mouth. Sirius looked mortified.

"James, your baby is eating me," Sirius whispered. Harry giggled happily and brought his tiny fist down on Sirius's forehead. I couldn't help but laugh at how my four month old son was beating up my twenty one year old mate. "And he _smells_!"

I raised an eyebrow at Sirius and picked Harry up off of him. "Like what?"

"Like piss."

I sniffed my son.

He did.

"Diaper change," I said, carrying Harry (who was drooling like a faucet all over my ear) into his room and placing him on the changing table, Sirius at my tail.

I took off Harry's pants when I realized that I forgot the diaper. They were on the other side of the room, but I couldn't leave Harry on the table.

"Oi, Padfoot," I said, turning towards him. "Hand me one of those diapers?"

Sirius walked to the other side of the room and pulled a diaper out of the bag. He threw it to me Frisbee style and it hit me in the face.

Being the mature one, I kept it and changed Harry's diaper. I took the dirty one and rolled it up, then chucked it at Sirius's head.

"Ew," Sirius said. He picked up the diaper and threw it back at me.

"Stop!" I threw it back.

"Gross! It's _heavy_!"

"It's filled with _piss_! Of course it's going to be heavy!"

After Sirius finally set the diaper on fire (and then put it out) we stopped having our war and brought Harry back into the living room.

When Harry saw that we were back in the living room, he started to whimper. (He liked his room, it was blue.) Sirius and I exchanged looks again, and Sirius darted off to the Kitchen to make another bottle. By the time the bottle was finished warming up, Harry was screaming at the top of his lungs once more. Quickly, I gave him the bottle and he stopped screaming.

Ten minutes later, the bottle was half empty and Sirius had spit up on his shirt.

Every time he started to whimper, Sirius would grab a new bottle, and I would feed Harry. This went on for three hours, with two more diaper changes. Sirius learned that it wasn't a good idea to hold him above your head after he downed half a bottle. The situation was hysterical, so I took pictures and planned on sending them to Marlene, Remus, Peter, and the Longbottoms.

"Is it healthy," Sirius asked around eleven o'clock as he took off his shirt. I tossed him one of mine. "Is it healthy to feed him every time he cries."

"It's healthy for my hearing."

"We ran out of bottles."

"That's not good."

Harry, who was still not asleep, was smiling at Sirius's shirt on the floor. I picked it up and gave it to him and he sucked happily on Sirius's sleeve.

"Thanks, James," Sirius said, looking down at my son.

When Harry realized that the shirt, in fact, was much more fun to drool on when it was on Sirius then not, he started to cry.

"We're out of bottles," I said to Sirius who looked horrified.

"What do we do?" Sirius asked.

"Quick." I pointed to the ground where one of Harry's toy trains was lying. "Give me that train!"

Sirius looked at it skeptically but handed the train over anyway. I put the front end in Harry's hands and he put it in his mouth, quieting him down. After a minute or two, Harry drifted off to sleep.

I looked at Sirius who sighed with relief.

_Crack_.

"James? Sirius? Where are you?" Lily called from the living room. She walked in, looking fantastic as always. She was shedding her coat when she saw us. "What are you doing in-?" She looked down at our sleeping child. "Why is Harry sucking on a train?"

Sirius grinned. "We ran out of bottles." I elbowed him in the stomach.

"He likes it."


	25. Oneshot 24: Hiding From The Marauders

Hiding From The Marauders

Oneshot #24

By: Matelia-legwll

I stormed back into the castle and almost all the way to Gryffindor Tower, before I stopped abruptly in a seventh floor corridor. Going back to the dormitories wasn't going to solve anything. Not where I had books for other tests to study for that would nag at my conscience. Studying for Transfiguration wasn't going to get James Potter and all of his antics out of my mind. Even worse, my thoughts would be more focused on him. Darn him and his skill at Transfiguration. Maybe Potions... no, definitely not Potions, that would bring Severus to mind.

I started pacing up and down the corridor. What I needed was somewhere I could get my mind off of school, escape. The idea of music popped into my head, just before the stretch of wall I was pacing next to changed into a door. I stopped, startled. I wondered if the wall was pretending to be a door. I hadn't fallen for that antic since first year. I tiptoed to the door, looked around at the deserted corridor and turned the handle to see if it was locked. It turned easily; I took one last look at my surroundings before disappearing inside.

-

Six hours later the portrait hole to the Gryffindor Common Room opened and I slipped inside.

"Where were you, Evans?" called a voice I knew too well the instant I set foot in the common room. I sighed. Who else, but James Potter, the boy I had exploded at earlier. He sounded more anxious than anything else, so I decided to face him and explain myself as calmly as possible.

"I was cooling down my temper," I said shortly. I surprised myself with my own coolness. Apparently I was still quite mad at Potter.

"How?" burst out Potter. "And _where_?"

I tilted my head and thought for a moment. "I'm not exactly sure where I was; I've never been there before." I admit I was being extremely vague, on purpose. I felt that he should be as vexed as he made me be.

A wave of satisfaction washed over me as I saw that Potter looked as exasperated as I had felt.

"I looked everywhere for you, Evans. Everywhere. I even —" Potter cut himself off, biting his lip nervously.

"Even what?" I asked, curious now.

"Even, er, went to Hogsmeade to look for you," admitted Potter in a half-whisper.

To my intense curiosity, one of Potter's mates, Peter Pettigrew, opened his mouth to say something, but Sirius Black, Potter's best mate, trod on his foot. Now, I wondered as Pettigrew winced, what brought that on?

Realizing suddenly that Potter was looking apprehensively at me for a response, I hesitantly asked, "Why did you look for me in Hogsmeade?"

Potter let out a muffled sigh, of relief, I suppose. Then he shrugged and started rambling, "Well, you weren't in the castle anywhere. I thought that maybe you had found one of the secret passageways to Hogsmeade. But you weren't there either. You disappeared so completely that I started to worry that you had been attacked and died." By this time, Potter had grown so agitated that he began to pace in front of me. I watched in dazed horror as he babbled on. "I thought that perhaps you had gone into the Forbidden Forest, so I g — ran around for ages looking for you in there. I asked Hagrid to look for you. I even asked Filch to look for you, but he just stared at me. I think he thought —"

I had raised my hand to stop the overflow of information, and he caught sight of that gesture and cut himself off mid-rant, to look at me expectantly for my explanation.

"Hang on. Back up Potter," I said. "Of course I was in the castle."

"But you weren't," insisted Potter. He is rather stubborn. "I looked everywhere for you."

I held back a smile as a thought occurred to me. "Even the girls bathrooms?" I asked skeptically.

I expected him to start in surprise, or look guilty or ashamed that this had slipped his mind; I never expected him to nod firmly and say, "Of course I did." I must have shown my shock and surprise, and perhaps the odd looks his friends gave him contributed, for he added, "Well, Myrtle helped me with the _girls_ bathrooms."

"_Moaning_ Myrtle?" I asked weakly.

"Of course. She, kind of, fancies, er, Padfoot. It comes in handy sometimes," replied Potter.

"Get to your point, Prongs," encouraged Black. "Not everyone needs to know about who Myrtle fancies."

Personally, I was shocked that Sirius Black and Potter's other friends had all stayed quiet until this point.

Potter had a resolute gleam in his eye. "All right, Evans. You managed to avoid a determined Marauder for over _six hours_. Where _were_ you?" demanded Potter.

I sighed again. The topic looked unavoidable this time. "_If_ it is any of your business, I was on the seventh floor, in the room across the corridor from the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy."

James Potter couldn't have looked more confused if he had tried. "Who the what?"

Indulging myself with rolling my eyes, I slowly replied, "The tapestry of the bloke who was trying to teach trolls ballet and failing miserably at it."

"Oh, _him_. Yeah. _That_ tapestry." Potter paused for a moment, then added, "But, there's no room across the corridor."

"Well, there wasn't one," I admitted, glorying in his confusion. "But then there was, and as you pointed out earlier, I spent nearly six hours in there."

"Wait, Lily?" This came from Remus Lupin, another of Potter's mates, however, he was also my fellow prefect, and the only one in their group that I have allowed to call me by my first name. "Was the room filled with, well, _exactly_ what you needed?"

I pondered that question for a moment, then softly said, "Yeah. It was perfect. More than perfect."

"What was in —" began Potter, but he was cut off by Remus.

"Wow. Lily, you found the Come-And-Go Room? I thought it was just a myth, a legend," said Remus.

"What's this, Moony?" asked Black.

"You must have been too busy eating when the house elves were talking about it," acknowledged Remus with a questioning glance at Sirius. Black shrugged and Remus quoted, "'The Come-And-Go Room, also known as the Room of Requirement, only appears when someone is in dire need of it. It will fill itself with exactly what the person needs or wishes for.' They said it was Rowena Ravenclaw's special room in the castle."

"Moony, why didn't you tell us about that room when we were writing the, er," Potter threw a glance over at me before going on, "the History of Magic essay?"

After Black, Pettigrew and Remus all looked at me calculatingly, Remus said, "One, I thought it was just a legend, like Slytherin's Chamber of Secrets. Two, I had no idea where it was. And three, the magic of the room would make it unplotable if you needed it to be."

Unplotable? I stared at Remus, trying to understand. Why would that matter? Even though the conversation was getting more confusing, I stayed silent in the hopes that they would say something to satisfy my curiosity.

"Three good reasons," piped up Pettigrew.

"Oh, be quiet, Wormtail," snapped Black.

Of all their nicknames for each other, Peter Pettigrew's nickname was the strangest. I had attempted to either figure out their nicknames or get them to blurt something out this entire year. Admittedly, I had failed. However, trying to get Potter or his friends to do anything they did not want to do was an impossible task. Hence, why I had been unable, so far, to get Potter to stop asking me out. At the most inopportune times, too.

I came out of my reverie to listen once more. "Surely we must have stumbled upon it once or twice. How come we never noticed it?" Black was asking.

"Because we would have only needed a broom cupboard," said Remus dismissively.

"You mean, that broom cupboard we thought we remembered wrong fourth year when it disappeared on us when we went back to look for it the next day, was really this Room of Requirement?" asked Potter, completely confusing me with the run-on sentence.

Remus started, then said, "Wow, Prongs. I think you might be right. Why didn't I see that?"

"Because you're Moony and Prongs is Prongs, that's why," said Black, grinning.

"Thanks for stating the obvious, Padfoot," said Pettigrew.

"You're welcome, Wormtail," replied Black glibly, then moved quickly away from Pettigrew to avoid Pettigrew's almost automatic response to hit Black upside the head.

Potter shook his head in amusement, then said, "You _do_ remember Wormtail is being sarcastic when he says stuff like that, right Padfoot?"

"Of course, Prongs," replied Black with a cheeky grin.

"Argh!" I burst out in frustration. "Enough with the nicknames unless you give me a reason _why_ Potter is Prongs, _why_ Black is Padfoot, _why_ Pettigrew is _Wormtail_, and _why_ Remus is Moony!"

The four boys stared at me in various states of surprise and disbelief. I wondered for a moment if they had forgotten that I was still there. I felt resentful at this thought. I couldn't very well have left, even if my curiosity had allowed it. During the conversation, all four boys had maneuvered themselves, perhaps unconsciously, into positions around me that blocked my escape routes to the girls dormitory, the fireplace, and back through the portrait hole. Black's position even blocked the boys dormitory.

"Well," began Pettigrew from behind me. He frowned, "I've got nothing."

"Black?" I asked turning to my right to face him.

"Er, nothing," said Black, looking caught off guard.

"Potter?" I said, turning back to him.

"Er," Potter had this look of stunned panic, like an animal caught frozen in a car's headlights. He shot a questioning glance at Remus, bit his lip, and seemed to regain his confidence, for he said, "Can't tell you."

I sighed. I didn't really want Severus's theories to be confirmed, but still the name ripped from my throat. "Remus?" My question hung in the air. I felt the tension in the room rise dramatically as the boy to my left froze.

In the pause, I heard Pettigrew mutter, "Come on, Moony. You can do it."

Remus looked like he was debating with himself. He shook his head slightly then looked directly at me. "The nicknames just . . . fit our personalities," he said clearly, and the tension dropped again as Potter, Black, and Pettigrew roared with laughter at this statement. I could have sworn that they thought this was the funniest thing any of them had ever heard.

"What?" asked Remus, dragging out the word and pretending to pout a little.

"You've _got_ to be joking, Moony. _That's_ the reason you tell her?" asked James, still laughing.

"What's wrong with that reason?" I asked curiously.

"Nothing, Lily," said Remus hastily. He paused, then protested to Potter, "Prongs, I couldn't very well tell her the _long_ reason. Not yet, anyway."

"True," acknowledged Potter, sobering up quickly. His frown changed quickly into a smirk, however, when he heard my next question.

"Why not yet?" I said.

"Evans, will you go out with me?" The git had the nerve to smile charmingly at me while he asked.

I, however, glared back at Potter and said, "I've barely had the patience to answer that question once today. Do you really think my answer has changed?"

"Hope springs eternal," was Potter's response, complete with cute-puppy-dog eyes. I rolled my own eyes.

"No, Potter." I said firmly.

"And there's the rub," mumbled Potter as he ruffled his hair, still with a smirk pasted on his face.

I paused, knowing that he was trying to get a rise out of me, but unable to help my curiosity. "What is that supposed to mean?" I finally asked.

"Nothing, nothing," said Potter, waving a hand lightly. The hand wave must have been some sort of signal, for Black and Pettigrew immediately walked around me and, with a pat on Remus's shoulder, over to the 'Marauder' armchairs in front of the fire. After a meaningful look between Potter and Remus, Remus followed Black and Pettigrew.

Increasingly aware of the lateness of the hour, the fact that I was alone with Potter and the Marauders in the Common Room, and the fact that all my friends seemed to have gone to bed already, I shifted nervously from one foot to the other, my mind filled with images of making a dash past Potter for the girls dormitories and being hexed or jinxed by Potter. This was most definitely irrational, but I was tired.

Potter, however, was just standing in front of me, one hand back in his hair, regarding me silently. I definitely did not want to admit how nervous that silent gaze was making me feel, so I just said, "Are you going to sit with your friends, or are you going to interrogate me some more?"

James started. I almost smiled at catching him off guard once again, but my months of training myself to keep my expressions bland in Potter's presence thankfully kept me from doing that.

"Well?" I asked, rather impatiently.

"I just have one more question, Evans." He paused, and I felt certain he was just dragging the question out for dramatic effect. "What did you find in the Room of Requirement?"

"What?" I burst out, shocked that he had gone back to that. I had, if I can admit it to myself, been expecting him to ask me out yet another time.

"I'm curious," he said, shrugging.

"All right. Whatever." I paused, remembering. "I found a room filled with instruments."

"What, like the instruments in Dumbledore's office?" Potter asked with a surprised look on his face.

This time I had to stifle a laugh. "No, silly. Musical instruments."

I let myself drift away from the common room as I remembered the wonder I felt upon opening the door and finding the very things I had been missing. My fingers ached to touch the piano in the center of the large room. There were also stacks of music—every song I had liked to play and more if I desired a challenge.

There were more instruments in there than I could name. My fingers strummed a harp, glided along the curves of a French horn, and held the violin up to my chest. Nothing satisfied me until I sat in front of the grand piano and let my emotions and stress flow out through my fingers into the music.

One scale. . . two. . . I was soon singing along as I played my heart out. I have to admit, it is a marvelous release.

I had hated to acknowledge that I was falling asleep at the piano after six hours. I loved that room, and I told the room to be open for me the next time I needed it.

I was brought sharply back to the present, when I heard Potter murmur something. My cheeks coloured as I realized I had been reliving the experience with delight and the expression surely displayed on my face.

"What did you say?" I demanded, instantly distrustful of him.

Potter blinked. "When?"

"Oh, come on. Just now," I said, now half wondering if I really wanted to know what he had murmured.

Potter frowned. "Did I say that out loud? Oh, well," he shrugged. "I can't tell you."

"Why not? You just said it," I protested, now fully wondering what I was getting myself into.

Potter laughed. Drat him and his contagious laugh. It made me smile like an idiot. "And I'll say it yet again. 'I can't tell you.'"

This time I caught the quotes around the words. My face reddened with embarrassment. "Oh," I muttered. I was now searching desperately for something to say, something to take his attention away from my ever reddening face that was now clashing with my hair. "You can't tell me _what_, exactly?" I wanted to slap myself on the forehead, but that would draw attention to my embarrassed skin, and make me look like I wanted to make a good impression on Potter.

Potter opened his mouth to speak, then smirked. "You're not going to get me that easily."

I immediately shook my head. "That's not what I meant to do, Potter. I was wondering what question I had asked that you happened to finally register and blurt out your answer."

Potter rolled his eyes. "Evans, Evans, Evans," he said disparagingly. He placed a hand on my shoulder that I had to glare pointedly at before he finally removed it with an "All right," conceding to my unspoken request. Well, more like my order, however nice it felt to have it there. "But I am not that thick," he replied to my question. "I was merely reminding myself of the promise I made to Moony — well, that we all made to Moony — when we first took on our nicknames."

"Remus started the nicknames?" I asked, a little startled.

Potter tilted his head. "Not exactly. He gave us a reason to nickname each other (he never had real good friends before Hogwarts, you know), but the only one Remus came up with was Prongs, for me. I came up with Padfoot for Sirius, Peter came up with Moony for Remus, and Sirius came up with Wormtail for Peter."

"I should've known," I muttered.

"Known what?" asked Potter, suddenly anxious and interested.

"Only Black would have the gumption to name a fellow human being something like _Wormtail_," I proclaimed.

Potter just smirked. And, to my utmost annoyance, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Black and Pettigrew high-five.

"Oh, grow up," I muttered irritably.

Potter's smile faded and determination filled his face. "I _will_ tell you, one day. It might just change your opinion toward us."

"James," said Remus in a warning tone. I looked over at the three boys. Remus was looking worriedly at Potter. Pettigrew was watching Potter also, but Black was gazing straight at me, and I had the oddest impression that he was evaluating my reaction.

"I know, I know," said Potter impatiently. "Nothing until she lets me."

"_Let_ you? How in the world am I in control of what you say, or do, for that matter?" I burst out, rounding on him. "I asked you the question, I'm allowing you the option of giving your answer, but I am not stopping you from saying anything!" My arguments with Severus have made me even more passionate about this subject than I would be normally.

Potter, however, gave a short, sad laugh. "Oh, yes, you asked. But you were already preparing yourself not to believe any extended explanation. You _are_ stopping me from saying anything worthwhile because of your attitude towards me and my friends. If only you could _trust_ us. Trust _me_. Then I could talk freely indeed."

"Trust?" I asked skeptically. "You want me to trust known pranksters, liars, and jokers?"

"Sometimes reputations aren't always true, Evans," sighed Potter.

I shrugged. "I'll give you that, Potter. But what about personal observation?" I countered.

"Touché." Potter paused, then proposed, "Let me prove to you otherwise — that we _are_ worthy of your trust."

I considered it a moment. "Sure," I agreed. "But how?"

Potter looked stumped for only a second. "I will take responsibility for everything that I do. I will not avoid the punishments, but take the punishment in full with no complaint. Pranking and joking is what we do, but I can promise a cut down in the number of pranks we will play, and the pranks will only be humorous."

By the end of this speech, Potter looked quite pleased with himself, but Pettigrew and Black stared at him in horror, and Remus regarded Potter with slight admiration.

"What?" burst out Black.

Potter set his jaw and turned determinedly toward his best friend. "Padfoot, it's Evans," he said as if this statement explained everything.

A long pause later, while I was looking between Black and Potter anxiously, Black suddenly smiled. "You're on."

Potter turned back to me, grinning. "The only exception to this will be Snape. We won't go out of our way to fight with him, but I can't promise we won't retaliate if he starts it," he warned.

I stifled a yawn, and said, "As loyal as I am to my friends, even I have to admit Sev starts some of the fights with you four."

Potter's and Black's jaws dropped. "'Sev'?" repeated James. "And_ he_'s still 'Potter'?" added Black, indicating his friend.

I rolled my eyes as I started to walk towards the stair. Potter immediately jumped into my path and wouldn't move out of the way.

"What?" I finally asked, frustrated with his determination.

"Call me James," said Potter, acting like he was daring me to do something absolutely dreadful.

"What?" I stopped and stared at him in shock.

"Call me James," he repeated.

"Would you please move out of the way?" I asked as I stepped to the left and he mirrored me.

"Call me James," he demanded, a smirk finding its way to his face.

Swallowing, I said, "Fine, James," and went passed him to the stair. Halfway up to the dormitories, I turned and smiled at the four dumbstruck boys. I should hide from them more often.

"What are you looking at, James?" I called, smirking.

James jerked his head up to look at me. "Something that is absolutely beautiful," he cheesily proclaimed.

I shook my head. "Glad to see you think so highly of your Common Room walls," I retorted as I climbed the stair again.

"That's not what I meant, Lily," muttered James.

"I know," I murmured, before disappearing into my room and leaning against my closed door.

I slowly recalled everything that had happened this day, and a smile formed that wouldn't leave my face. I should definitely hide from the Marauders more often.


	26. Oneshot 25: You Did WHAT to my Knickers

You Did WHAT to my Knickers

You Did WHAT to my Knickers?

Oneshot # 25

by: siriusly klutzy

"Er, James? Did you do the laundry?" Lily called from the bedroom.

"No," James called back nervously, dragging out the word and knowing that his time was up.

There was some shuffling around in the other room, drawers being opened and closed, a closet door slamming shut. "Well... have you seen my knickers?"

"Not since Thursday night," he couldn't help but reply cheekily.

"This isn't funny! They're... _gone_!"

Remembering his worries, James's heart started racing. Of course, he knew _exactly_ what happened to Lily's knickers. And it wasn't something she'd be pleased to hear about. In fact, if she did find out, she might just throttle the culprit, Sirius, and his right hand man, James.

It's not as if they _meant_ for the dung bomb to actually explode in the drawer, and it seemed like a funny place to put it at the time. But now, well now it seemed downright _stupid_.

"I'm dead. I'm so dead. She's going to _murder_ me," James muttered to himself. He was pacing back and forth through the living room, hoping his wife didn't catch a whiff of the smell. They had tried their best to get the smell out with Madam Frooty's Stink-Be-Gone potion, but all that managed to do was drip on Sirius's sleeve and burn a rather large hole through it. After getting Sirius a new shirt, they put three air fresheners in the scorched drawer and waited to no avail.

It still smelled.

They used half of Lily's lilac scented perfume, and that managed to cover it up long enough for them to run to the store where they bought bars of soap that vaguely resembled the laundry detergent they used.

"And... James?" she called again, this time appearing at the top of the stairs.

"Yes, love?" he answered nervously, pulling at his collar and rubbing the back of his head- some old habits die hard.

"Why are your boxers in my drawer?" she asked, tossing a pair down with little broomsticks stitched onto them.

"No idea," he said, his voice rising an octave. James knew what would happen if she found out the real story, and it wouldn't be pretty. In fact, it would probably involve both Sirius and himself to lose their manhood. And, of course, in the most painful way possible.

It was actually Sirius's idea to fill the drawer with James's boxers. He thought it would fool Lily, at least for a little while.

"Trust me," he said, grabbing a handful of James's boxers and dumping them in the drawer. "As long as there's something in there she won't notice a thing."

"She's not going to buy it, Padfoot," James said frantically, debating on whether or not he should put them back.

"Well, if anything, it will cover the soap," Sirius replied with a shrug.

This is where James gave in. It _would_ hide the fact that there were four bars of soap in Lily's underwear drawer. Once again, that seemed like a good idea at the time as well.

But things that seem like good ideas at the time rarely ever are.

"And James?" she called for a third time. James looked to the top of the stairs where his wife was smiling knowingly. "Why are there bars of soap in my drawer?"

James's forehead sprouted drops of sweat. "I'm not sure, Lily. Maybe they were... in the wash," he said lamely.

"Oh, and James?" she asked sweetly. A danger sign for sure. "Why am I missing half a bottle of perfume?" She dangled the half empty glass bottle in front of her before tossing it lightly to James, who caught it with ease, but was still nervous out of his wits.

"Maybe it leaked... or something."

She knew. He knew she knew. And he knew that soon he wasn't going to be able to produce children once Lily was through with him. Lily always wanted children. She would probably leave him for a fertile bloke, as opposed to one who couldn't stop his wife from killing his manhood.

All of those thoughts ran through his head as he looked up at his wife in what he thought was an innocent manner.

"You and Sirius weren't... dressing up in my knickers, were you? And then trying to cover up the smell of man with my things... Were you?" Though she said this jokily, Lily did look worried. She wouldn't put it past her husband and his best mate to prance around in her knickers while she was off with Alice Longbottom shopping.

"Of course not," James said, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Huh..." she said curiously. "You weren't, by chance, selling them? Or using my bras as sling shots, were you?"

Okay, so maybe they did that once- once. It wasn't something they would ever do again. Particularly because when sixteen year old Lily Evans found them flinging various fruits across the Common Room with one of her bras (how they obtained that, she never found out, but she had an inkling that Peter Pettigrew somehow helped because they would always nudge him in the side and throw winks in his direction) she charmed Sirius's lips together (a deed that was frowned upon by various girls throughout the room) and James's glasses to his nose. Of course, charming the glasses to his nose was rather mediocre, so she added greatly enlarged front teeth to the mixture.

Both teenage boys had to spend the night in the hospital wing, listening to Madam Pomfrey rant and rave about dueling in school.

"Nope," James answered, proud that he could finally respond honestly to one of her questions. "No sales or slingshots." He grinned as the fireplace went ablaze.

"Hello, Prongsie!" Sirius called, prancing out of the fireplace. Obviously he did not see Lily at the top of the stairs holding another pair of James's boxers and a bar of soap.

"Sirius!" James exclaimed. He went to usher Sirius back into the fireplace before he could risk Sirius losing his manhood as well.

"Yes, yes, greetings all around." He grinned happily to his mate, still oblivious to the intrigued redhead at the top of the stairs. "Did Lily find out about the dungbombs?" he asked, pulling out his wand and accio-ing a butterbeer to come his way.

"_Dungbombs_?!" Lily shouted, enraged.

James flinched as his wife flew down the stairs, dropping the boxers and soap on the way.

"What does he _mean_ by dungbombs?" she asked quietly, but fiercely.

Sirius, realizing the trouble he caused, decided to explain the situation. "Really Lily, love. It was my fault. I was trying to keep the dungbombs away from James."

"And you figured the best place was in my _knicker drawer_?"

"Well... yes."

"Lily. Honey. Listen. It was an accident. We can buy you more."

"What do you _mean_ buy me more?" she asked, furious.

"Well... after they exploded- the dungbombs, I mean- your knickers turned rather... _ashy_. And I don't think you'd want ashy knickers," Sirius said.

"You... _blew up _my knickers...?" she asked in disbelief.

"It was an accident, Lily, I _swear_!" James said, trying to redeem himself. It wasn't quite working out that well.

"You blew up my knickers with a _dungbomb_?"

"It's not that bad, Lily, really," Sirius added, trying to comfort the raging redhead. "Look at it this way. You going commando for a while will certainly make James a much happier lad."

"Sirius Black," Lily said calmly at first before turning mad. "I'm going to _kill_ you!"

She lunged at Sirius but James caught her around the waist.

"Run, Padfoot! I'll floo you later!" James called, restraining his thrashing wife.

Sirius dashed to the fireplace, grabbed some floo powder, and flung himself into the fireplace. In a flash of green flames, he was gone.

"You _blew up my _knickers!" Lily shouted, seething.

"It was an accident, love, I swear," James said. His hands were out, palms facing Lily as he backed slowly away. It was best not to make quick movements or she might try to attack. Again.

"An_ accident_," she scoffed. "Why couldn't you ruin your boxers and not my knickers!"

"I- well, we were..." _Dead_, James thought. _She's going to murder me._

"You do realize," she began, "that you're going to have to take me shopping."

"I can live through that," James said, though he inwardly winced.

"Oh," she said dangerously. "But not just once. Oh no, you're going to have to come _every time I ask_."

"That seems... fair," he said, defeated. "But... can I bring Sirius?"

"NO YOU CANNOT BRING SIRIUS! Honestly! The two of you in a clothing store? The place would be in ashes in seconds!"

James winced. "Lily, love, I really am sorry."

"What on earth possessed you to put _dungbombs_ in my knicker drawer?"

"Old repressed teenage rebellion that was unleashed?" James asked innocently, trying to play the situation off as comical instead of what it really was, which was terrifying.

"I am_ never _leaving you here alone. Ever again. Especially with the chance that Sirius might come over."

James turned on the charm as he walked over to Lily. "It was better than the slingshot episode, wasn't it?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Not by much," she responded with a glare.

"Do you forgive me?" he asked nuzzling her neck. She glared harder but it didn't last. A smile spread across her face.

"Almost."

James took a step away.

"Almost?"

"I won't truly forgive you until I burn your boxers!" she said as she darted up the stairs.

James stood there dumbly for a second, quite glad that she had at least thrown him a pair earlier and also dropped another on the stairs.

But he still couldn't manage to not utter, "Damn," before chasing after her.


	27. Oneshot 26: No Such Thing as Blotting

No Such Thing as Blotting

No Such Thing as Blotting

Oneshot #26

By: siriusly klutzy

He stole my quill. My quill. He stole it. My favorite quill.

Granted, he didn't know that it was my quill because, as it appeared to everyone else, it was just a random quill dropped and forgotten in the hall way. What they didn't know was that it was mine. My special quill. That doesn't blot! It never blots! Not once in my entire life of writing with that quill (three weeks, sue me) has it ever blotted.

And I want it back.

"I know it was your favorite quill, Lily, but you're not going to get it back," Alice said, crushing my hopes and dreams after I told her about my quill tragedy.

Hear me out. I lend people quills all the time. And most times, I never get them back so you'd think I'd be use to this losing quills thing. Sometimes it irks me to see them writing with it when I know it's mine, but I don't say anything because I know that it's ridiculous and that I have at least seventeen more upstairs, under my bed.

"Alice, it was my favorite," I said. "It never blotted! Never! Do you know how rare that is?" I asked as I flopped on the bed face down.

Alice laughed. "You're stressing over a quill. Shouldn't you be worried about that test we have in Transfiguration tomorrow? You still haven't got the pronunciation right and if you fail then I'm going to have to hear about it for the next three months. At least. And it's not as if-"

"Did I mention that quill is lucky?" I asked. Okay, so it's a lie. Kind of. "I mean, I feel lucky when I use it."

"Well, now James is going to have your luck."

"I don't want Potter to have my luck!" Of all people, why was it Potter who decided that my quill would look lovely writing the answers for his homework? Why did he have to stop and pick it up? Why couldn't it have been Remus?

I wouldn't mind so much if Quill had been given a nice home.

"Alice," I said finally. She looked over at me. "We're going on an adventure." She raised her eyebrows at me and I grinned. "We've got to get the quill back. If we don't, I'll fail that test."

She just laughed. "We don't even know where James is, let alone where he keeps his quills."

"Who cares where Potter is?" I asked. "We just need his bag! I saw him slip the quill in there. Ugh, if it only blotted, I bet it would have gotten ink all over his things! Why did it have to be such a nice quill?" Alice opened her mouth to answer but I cut her off. "Never mind, lets go."

"Why do I have to come with you while you rescue your quill?" she grumbled as we were going down the stairs to the Common Room. Our best bet was that James's bag was in his dorm. So we'd just have to go up there and get it. Without being seen.

Hopefully the Marauders weren't in the Common Room.

There were a fair amount of people in there, but the majority were chatting and the others were doing their homework. Better yet, there weren't any Marauders in sight!

I motioned for Alice to follow me to the boys staircases. She rolled her eyes, but came along all the same. "Don't worry, Quill," I muttered. "I'm coming to get you!"

"You really have gone loony, Lily," Alice said with a snicker as two second years walked passed us, one of them eyeing Alice. I was about to start off on a lecture about respecting women when I remembered my true mission was to save my quill, not preach to the runts.

We reached the six years boys dorms without running into anyone else. Imagine if the Marauders were on their way back upstairs? That would have been bad.

I started pushing open the door slowly, causing Alice to erupt into fits of laughter. "It's not a detective novel, Lils. You're getting your quill. Open the damn door like a normal person!"

I rolled my eyes, but obeyed and walked into the room.

Only to be met by all four Marauders in their pajamas. Well, except for Peter, who I could hear singing in the bathroom.

"Oh Merlin," I said lowly, mentally smacking myself for completely ignoring that fact that they just might be in their dorm.

"What?" Alice asked, poking her head around me and laughing out loud when she saw what was just so 'Oh Merlin' worthy.

The three boys were staring at Alice and I in their doorway. "Evans? Is that you?" Potter asked. He reached over to the table by what I could only assume to be his bed and grabbed his glasses.

"Lily? What are you doing up here?" Remus asked, but I could see a small smile playing at his lips.

Sirius laughed loudly. "And all these years you thought that Evans didn't even want to be near you, Prongs! Now she's meeting you for bed."

Trying to ignore Sirius's comment, Alice's laughter, and Remus's inquiring looks, I let my eyes drift to James. He looked completely confused (as he should be, because it takes a lot to get me even near the boys dorms. Sometimes they let off some odor... I don't even want to know what it is. Boys.)

Standing up as straight as possible, I put my left hand out, palm up. "I would like my quill back, Potter."

Remus cocked his head to the side and Sirius's eyebrow shot up and away into his hair.

"Your... quill?" he asked as I elbowed Alice in the ribs for her to shut up. Which didn't work but it was worth a try.

"Yes. You picked up my quill today in the hall and I'd really like it back."

He looked even more confused for a moment, but his eyes lit up and he walked over to his back. He reached in, dug around for a minute, and pulled out my quill!

I ran over and snatched it out of his hand.

"Thanks!"

"Now that you two are reunited, can we get out of here?" Alice called from Frank's bed. When she went there, I don't know. "It smells funny."

All stares were directed towards Sirius who said, "What? I just washed my socks. The only ones left are Peters."

"Thank you very much for my quill," I said happily, motioning for Alice to come.

"Any... um, time," James said, still kind of in shock as to what the hell we were doing there.

A door opened on the other side of the room, directing everyone's attention there.

"Sorry guys, I just used up all of the hot water," came Peter's voice from the other side of the room.

And that is the reason Alice and I will never ever be able to look at Peter Pettigrew the same way again for he will always be wearing that awkward yellow shower cap.


	28. Oneshot 27: Mistakes of a Married Woman

Mistakes of a Married Woman

Oneshot #27

By: siriusly klutzy

I knew from the start that allowing James to cook dinner was a bad idea. Once the scent of burning _something _reached my nostrils, I knew I should have just waltzed in there and said, "James, _please _hand over the baking pan and let me do this. I love you dearly, but you look much better without singed eyebrows."

To which he probably would have replied, "Lily, dear, I look sexy no matter now crispy my eyebrows are." And then I would have shaken my head and left the room.

But instead, I called, "James?" cautiously, trying to convince myself that the smoke seeping under the doorway was a figment of my imagination. It wasn't.

He coughed in response. "Yes?" More coughing. "Everything's under control! Don't move. I've got it all- oh, _bloody hell!_"

"James?" I called, this time more urgently.

There was a stream of profanities before, "It's alright. I've got it all under control. No need to worry!"

"James Potter, you aren't hurting yourself, are you?" I stepped closer to the door and put my ear against it.

"Of course not! This chicken was just a bit rowdy! I'm fine. The chicken's fine. The strawberries are fine. We're all fine!" More coughing. Great, my fiancé was suffocating and he didn't want my help.

"Did you say strawberries?" I asked curiously, taking a step back.

"What? No! Go away! It's a surprise!" he cried. "Ouch! Damnit!"

"I'm coming in there," I warned, pushing the door open.

"Oh, no you're not!" I heard some scrambling and then a thud as the door slammed shut. "Stay out! This is supposed to be _our special dinner_!"

"It's not going to be special if you're _dead_,you nitwit!" I said, pushing against the door. "Let me in, you stubborn toe rag!"

"Toe rag? Really, Evans? That's all you've got after all these years?"

I jumped. "Merlin, Black," I said, abandoning my attempts at breaking into my own smoking kitchen to go hug James's best mate. "What are you doing here?"

"Just thought I'd drop in and give James my magazine." He dropped a dripping copy of some quidditch magazine on my side table. He sniffed the air and grinned. "What's cooking?"

I grimaced at the door. "Nothing edible, I'm sure."

"Why?" He marched into the kitchen and started coughing up a storm. "Prongs, what the _hell_ are you doing?"

I followed behind quietly, not wanting to get shut out again. It wasn't as if James could see me, anyway. There was one big cloud of smoke in there. I could just barely make out the outline of James, standing by the stove and waving smoke away with his hands. Sirius, dressed in darker colors, was more recognizable as he leaned, smirking complacently I'm sure, against the refrigerator.

"I'm cooking dinner for Lily!" he whispered, still trying to wave the smoke away.

"You call _that_ dinner?" Sirius asked. The smoke was starting to clear more quickly now. "Ever heard of a wand, mate?" He waved his wand and directed the smoke out the open window.

"Thanks," James said, quickly maneuvering himself so that he was in between the "food" and myself. "Now get out!" He started waving a spatula at us like a mad old lady, slightly resembling my mother around the holidays. "Out! I've got to finish."

"James, darling, really, I love you to Pluto and back, but I don't think I'd ever eat anything you cook. It really smells disgusting in here," I said in the most caring voice I possibly could.

"But-"

"Prongs! What the hell is on your ceiling?" Sirius asked, pointing to a mysterious red goop that was dripping in a slow beat from the ceiling onto the counter. _Plop. Plop. Plop._

James looked uncertainly up at the ceiling and ran a hand through his hair (consequentially getting the same red goop caught in his dark locks).

"Strawberries," James answered proudly. He was trying his best to ignore the, what he called strawberry, goop that was in his hair and all over his hands.

"I thought you were making chicken," I said, peering behind him at the scorched lumps of something (I'm assuming chicken) that never had the chance of being edible once it entered this kitchen and was placed in the eager, completely unculinarily trained, hands of James Potter.

"I was," James answered, confused as to why I was confused.

"But that's strawberries," I pointed out, putting my finger close to, but not quite touching, the goop on his arm.

"I know."

"But you made chicken."

"I know."

"_But that is strawberries!_"

This whole conversation was giving me a headache.

James, sweet, lovely, thoughtful, can't cook to save his life James, was staring at me like I was the most incompetent person in the world.

"Okay. _What_?" I finally asked, staring at him.

"I put the strawberries on the chicken. Before it burned. And before they exploded."

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "How the hell do you explode strawberries?"

"Well, the sto- Oi! Get out of here! Go ride your bike in the rain, dog!" James yelled, but he was grinning so there was no harm done. Sirius walked out of the kitchen, shaking his head.

"Alright," he called from the front entrance way. "But if your kitchen starts smoking, and you two dolts are too thick to remember you have a wand, I won't be here to save you!"

"Don't you want to stay for dinner?" I asked with a giggle. Sirius let out another bark of laughter and walked out the door. "Strawberries on chicken?" I asked once I heard the door shut and a motorbike roar to life.

"I was trying to be fancy," he answered with a sweet grin.

"That seriously has to be one of the grossest things I've ever even heard of," I said sweetly, stifling a giggle and stroking his cheek as the goop plopped down some more.

He grabbed my wrists and put them to my side. "Get out! I've got to finish!"

Astonished, I stared at the man. "James, you've burned, melted, or exploded anything edible in this kitchen! There's not much more that you can do!"

He just grinned and led me out of the room.

For the next forty five minutes I had to sit patiently in the living room, ignoring the yelps of pain, the random pops and explosions, and the burning smell that was all recognizable through the door. When he shouted a nice creation of swear words, mixed with foods, and pain in his hand, I wasn't able to go in and try to fix him. He told me to stay put.

"Okay! It's done!" he called happily from the kitchen. I stood to walk towards the door. "Oh- no wait!" There was a scrambling, the sink turned on and off quickly, a hesitation, and then James appeared in the door way, his arm out waiting for me to take it.

"No amount of charm will make up for the dinner I'm about to force myself to eat," I said with a grin, linking my arm in his.

"You'll like it." He sounded so sure of himself as we walked through the kitchen (which, somehow, was miraculously clean) and to the dining room.

"What'd you do to the kitchen? I know you have a house elf, but no one can clean that fast."

He just winked and guided me through the door. It looked nice. I had to give him credit for presentation. There were two lit candles on the table, and the plates, silverware, and napkins were all set up the way they should be.

"Oh, James," I said with a sigh. "It looks great." I pecked him on the cheek.

"See! I can do something right!" He walked me over to the table and pulled my chair out.

"Oh, I had complete faith in you," I said with mock seriousness as he turned around. I noticed a small chunk of the strawberry goop stuck in his hair, but thought against mentioning it. He was so proud.

"Before we start," he began, "there's something I've got to tell you." His voice was dead serious. It made me anxious. Since when was James serious? "Now, you may not know this, Lily, but I can't cook." I couldn't help but let out snort. He grinned. "So what you're about to see may or may not shock you." He waggled his eyebrows and snapped his fingers. What seemed to materialize on my plate _did _shock me.

"Galleons?" I asked, picking up the familiar currency.

"Yeah, we're going out to dinner!"

I grinned, surprised. I would have thought he would stuff that burnt chicken down my throat if it killed him. And me. "Oh, thank Merlin," I said, sighing with relief.

"You were really scared to eat my cooking?" he asked feigning hurt.

"You call that cooking?" He pouted. "I'm going to get my coat. Oh! You might want to shower. You've got some strawberries in your hair." I went to pluck them out. "Oh! Gross! They're _dried in there_!"

He made a comment about having to borrow some of Sirius's hair products and dashed off to the bathroom. I pocketed the galleons and waited for my lovely, unculinarily trained, and strawberry covered fiancé to clean himself up.


	29. Oneshot 28: Two and a Half Carats

Two and a Half Carats

Oneshot #28

By: Marauder Number Five

"Well today's the day, mates," James said, fingering a small satin blue box. "I'm going to ask her to marry me."

"Now James, don't you think that you should think about this some more. After all, you guys ha-" Remus was cut off by Sirius, who elbowed him off the bed.

"Aw, shut it Moony. You're ruining what's supposed to be the happiest day of his life. Now let me see that rock!"

James proudly opened the small blue box to reveal a single diamond set on a white gold band. On the inside was inscribed 'Prong's Girl.'

Sirius let out a low whistle. Remus just gaped. "What a rock!" Peter exclaimed.

"Two and a half carats," James boasted. "She'll love it. It's plain, yet extravagant. Simple, yet complex. Shiny, yet sparkly. Expensive, yet priceless. Beautiful, yet –d"

"James, I'm sure you have many more oxymorons prepared," Remus said warily. "But we have to get down to the Great Hall before we miss dinner."

"NOT DINNER!" Sirius cried. Grabbing Peter, he sprinted out the door, leaving James and Remus standing alone in the dorm.

"Well shall we Moony?" James asked as he headed towards the door.

"Yes, I think it's for the best. But please Prongs, I'm begging you to leave the ring here. It's rather ridiculous to ask her to marry you now, we're still in Hogwarts!" Remus tried one last time to reason with the rash teen.

"That we are Moony, but there's only two more weeks of school left! Not to mention those horrible tests are over. My flower spent all her time studying for them rather than snogging me!"

"Well James, those tests decide what we can do in life," Remus said reasonably. "If she failed them, she'd never be able to get a career."

"Lily doesn't need a job. Once we're married we're going to live in Godric's Hollow off of the gold that my parents left me. Now off to dinner we go!" Before Remus could try to talk James out of the proposal again, the boy had sprinted down the stairs to the Great Hall.

When Remus got to the Great Hall, he saw James sitting with Sirius and Peter, calmly eating his potatoes. Thankfully, the box was nowhere in sight. 'Maybe he actually listened to me!' Remus thought gleefully. Much more cheerful, he sat with his friends, enjoying the filet and asparagus.

All was going swimmingly until the dinner plates disappeared and the desserts began to materialize. James stood up in the middle of Peter's joke concerning a goblin, kneazle, and three trolls and walked a couple seats over where Lily was eating pie with Mary and Marlene. To Remus' dismay, there was the little blue box in his back pocket.

James tapped Lily on the shoulder, already attracting most of the Great Hall's attention. After all, when James Potter, captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, says or does something it must be important.

When Lily turned around, James was on one knee. "Lilianne Brianna Evans," he started. "I love everything about you. You're perfect to me. I can't stand that we could possibly be closer than we already are. I know that you always hate it when I ask you personal questions in public, but please pardon me one more time. Will you be my wife?" He pulled the box out of his pocket and opened it in front of Lily.

Her eyes widened, reflecting the gleam of the diamond. The Great Hall was silent, until one brave soul called out, "C'mon Evans say yes!" After that, the entire student body erupted into cheers, pleading Lily to accept.

"I think they want you to say yes," James whispered softly, smiling at her. "I do too. Please Lily, I love you with all my heart. Be my wife."

"James…the ring is gorgeous," she said quietly, staring at the glittering stone. "It must have cost you a fortune."

"Nothing is expensive enough for me to express my love for you," James whispered, his voice only carrying to her in the noisy hall.

Something changed in Lily's eyes as if she finally realized what was happening. It was as if she had just woken out of a trance caused by the shine of the diamond. "James I told you this last week by the lake," she said, her voice returning to normal volume.

The Great Hall fell silent with anticipation. James had a hopeful look on his face. Sirius had his fingers crossed while Remus looked scared. Even Dumbledore was on the edge of his chair.

"I'd rather go out with the giant squid than you. I hope that you can get a refund on that ring." The Fifth Year girl stood up and walked past the boy on his knee and out of the Great Hall.

"I told you not to ask her mate," Remus said, clapping a hand onto his shoulder. "Now come on, let's go see if we can get your money back on that ring."

"Nah, it's okay Moony." James said, taking it rather well for a bloke that just got rejected after he asked the girl of his dreams to marry him. "I'll save it for later."

**xXx**

Three years later, a very loud Three Broomsticks erupted into cheers. A messy haired man stood up and deeply kissed a small redhead who had a glittering two and a half carat diamond ring on her finger.

"Told you I'd save it for later Moony," he said as he wrapped his arms around his new fiancée.

"Never doubted you mate," the man replied with a small smile as he sipped his butterbeer.

"Never doubted him?" a man with dark black hair cried incredulously. "Who's the one that didn't want him to propose three years ago? 'We're still in Hogwarts. This is a bad idea. Go get your money back.' Sound familiar? Whereas I, on the other hand, fully supported him in his decision!"

"Whatever you say Sirius," Remus replied as Peter laughed. He looked around at his friends, Peter laughing, Sirius still going on about his loyalty, Lily and James gazing happily into each others' eyes. Nothing could ruin this.


	30. Oneshot 29: Biting Thumbs

Biting Thumbs

Oneshot #29

By: The Luna Complex

I hate him.

My name is Lily Evans and I hate James Potter.

Currently, I am standing in the Heads' Common Room; giving him an icy glare and James, well, he's being James.

"Come on, Evans," he sneers, "Go out with me! You know you want to."

I sigh an aggravated sigh and roll my eyes. When will this boy learn?

Now, usually, I would reply with something like, "Never in a million years, Potter," or "I'd rather go out with the giant squid!" But today, I have a transfiguration essay to complete, and that's my absolutely worst subject. I settle for a simple, "Fudge off, Potter."

A slow grin makes its way on his face, and I know he's planning something. It would probably be a good idea to leave now, before I sprout wings from my nose or something. I turn to do just that, but I am stopped when I feel a hand on my elbow. I turn back to him, but not without the infamous Lily Evans eye roll.

"What's wrong, Evans? Can't swear, can you?" he sneers, with that bloody smirk plastered on his face. Oh, how I long to slap it off him.

"Potter," I find myself saying, "I simply have no need to swear. Unlike you, I don't need to put on an act to be accepted."

That wiped the smirk off of his face. But only for a second. Still, I didn't miss it.

"I think prissy Miss Head Girl's afraid to swear," he drawled.

Brat.

"I'm not prissy!" I shout.

"Then prove it, he states calmly, that bloody smirk still plastered on his bloody face.

I can't think. I have to something, _anything_ to prove to James Potter that I am _not_ a prude. I _refuse_ to lose to James bloody Potter! I do the first thing that comes to my demented mind. I stick the tip of my thumb in my mouth and bite down.

James raises an eyebrow. "Sucking your thumb, Evans?"

Oh, jellybeans, he is so dense.

"No, Potter," I state matter-of-factly, my thumb still in my mouth, "I'm biting my thumb at you."

I laugh internally at his confused look. Even I have to admit, he is pretty cute. Especially with his brow furrowed and his head tilted slightly to the side.

"It's the Shakespearean middle-finger, James," I explain, removing my thumb.

Oh, snicker doodles. Did I just call him James?

"Did you just call me James?"

Great. I probably just boosted his ego by about ten points.

"No," I say, "You were imagining things."

Ha. Take that, Potter's ego!

"No, I'm pretty sure you just called me James."

Argh! That bloody smirk again!

"Whatever, Potter."

He looks at me with that confused look again and I feel myself start to melt. No, Lily, get a grip, girl! I'm busy chiding myself when I hear his voice. Then I realize I wasn't listening.

"Sorry," I state embarrassedly, "Come again?"

"I said, what does Shakespearean mean?"

I simply gape at him. I know he's a pureblood, but still! How do you _not_ know who Shakespeare is? He's only the greatest play writer of all time! I tell him as much.

I go into a rant about his plays and how wonderful they are. About halfway through, I realize he's staring at me with a dreamy expression on his face.

"Potter, are you listening to a word I say?"

He started. I'll take that as a no.

"You know, Evans," he stated, "You're really cute when you're ranting."

I open to mouth to emit a clever retort when I suddenly feel his lips on mine. A feeling of warmth washes over me and I begin to kiss back.

_What are you doing, Lily?! This is Potter you're kissing here!_

This thought finally makes it's way to my brain and I push him off.

"You're a hideous rump-fed pantaloon, Potter," I say without much malice.

I then walk to up the stairs to my room and pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow, leaving James Potter to stare at the spot I was just standing, a slow grin making it's way onto his face.

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	31. Oneshot 30: TITLE IN STORY

Lawn Mowing With An Overactive Imagination

Oneshot #30

By: ahrocks08

I just finished my 6th year at Hogwarts, and my parents are already putting me to work. How cruel is that?

Ok, so I finished last week, but still. I just spent the whole week visiting with relatives and lying outrageously about what I have been up to this whole year. I couldn't tell them what I have really been up to; they would probably commit me to a psych ward before my parents could stop them.

In case you didn't already guess, all my relatives are muggles. They don't know that I go to Hogwarts. They think that I go to some boarding school for really smart kids. That's fine with me. Makes me sound smart.

Anyway, back to my rant. They put me to work on my first free day. My parents, I mean, not my relatives, although if they had thought about it…

Not the point. The point is that I have a list of things to get done while my parents are out today. They didn't even tell me what they were doing, they just said that they wouldn't be back until late tonight and that "they would appreciate it if I would do some chores while they were away".

Humph. The moment I get back, they put me to work. Not nice. I was really looking forward to relaxing. I wanted to watch some movies that I hadn't seen in ages. Actually I was planning an all-out marathon with all my favorite actors, Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, and Audrey Hepburn. I hate that I can't watch movies at Hogwarts, I love movies. Then I was going to read my favorite books. Actually it's a series, The Anne of Green Gables series to be exact. This would have taken more than one day, but that was the plan. But no, I get stuck with a to-do list.

Here's what I have to do:

Sweep the kitchen

Dust the downstairs

Wash the dishes

Make brownies

Do the laundry

Mow the lawn

Mow the lawn! My parents are evil! I never have to mow the lawn. All the others I can easily do. Although I have no idea why my mum wants me to make brownies, but again, not complaining, I love brownies. I better get some.

Needless to say, I was dreading mowing the lawn. So I dragged my feet while I did the other chores, listening to the radio. Another thing I miss when I am at Hogwarts. I miss out so much on the current music.

Anyway, eventually it was time to go mow, so I put on some old clothes and headed outside. That's when I realized that if I were a couple months older, I would be seventeen and I would be able to magic all this stuff done. Well, that put me in a sourer mood. Ugh, two more months and I could be done with this stuff in like two minutes.

While I was grumbling, I began mowing the yard.

That's when I started daydreaming. I have a very wild imagination sometimes, so I wasn't too surprised at myself when I started imagining ways that I could get out of mowing the lawn. The first few were normal, more likely things that could happen.

For example, the mower could break. That would be excellent. Or it would start to rain. The only problem with that one being that there isn't a cloud in the sky. Of course, the weather is never on my side. The weather hates me. It's true. Ask Alice. It never goes the way I ask it. Like this one time I wanted it to rain so that Care of Magical Creatures class would be cancelled so that I could finish a Transfiguration essay. Wouldn't you know it was the nicest day of the whole school year?

Anyway, those were more rational ideas. When those didn't happen I wished for more drastic measures. Like twisting my ankle in a hole, or having an asthma attack. I don't even have asthma. That is how much I don't like mowing the lawn, and I have only done it once before. My father showed me how, "just in case I ever needed to mow". Humph, he just wanted someone else to do the dirty work for him.

And it is dirty. I know I am going to have grass everywhere when I get done with this. It's probably in my hair and even under my clothes. Ugh, my tennis shoes, that used to be white, mind you, are all covered in green. If I had wanted green tennis shoes, then I would have bought green tennis shoes. My parents owe me new tennis shoes after this.

Then, after it became apparent that I was going to have to finish mowing, I started imagining how nice it would be if someone would come and mow for me. And by someone, I mean some guy. I don't have a specific guy, for all I cared it could be that slightly creepy boy that lives next door who I _think_ that he is close to my age, but can never tell, or it could be some random stranger that is walking by and sees me struggling with the mower. It's embarrassing to admit it, but I couldn't help imagining how romantic it would be for a man to come up to me while I was mowing, smile at me, and ask me if I would like him to finish up for me. And he would, of course, think that I am beautiful even though I am wearing an old pair of jean shorts and a ratty t-shirt, with my hair pulled back in a messy bun and sweating profusely.

I sighed, that would just be the ultimate scene in a romance novel. You know, like the scene that the woman realizes that she is in love with the man and that she can't live without him. Hmm, I should really consider writing a romance novel. I should think I have read enough of them to know how to write one. If I ever do, I'm putting this whole experience in there. Oh! Maybe he could own a landscaping company, and she…well, I don't know, maybe she could be working for him out of desperation. I don't know, that sounds a little cheesy.

Anyway, that was completely off topic. Get back on track, Lily!

So, even though I know that my imaginations are not likely to come true, I can always imagine. I would be walking with my back to the house, and he would be coming around the side, and I would see him as I turned and started the next row. I would jump in surprise and stare at him with curiosity as he made his way over to me, then he would say…

"Hey Lily, would you like me to finish that up for you?"

To which I would say…

"Are you sure you want to?"

Then he would laugh and say that it would be no problem and that I should run inside and get something to drink. Which I would do, and I would also try to clean myself up, which is impossible to do without taking a shower. And I couldn't very well take a shower while he was out there mowing. That would be rude, so I would grab him a glass of water and take it to him outside, where he is almost finished. He would have done in 15 minutes what would have taken me 30.

After he got done we would sit in the yard and talk about random things such as the weather and school, and stuff like that. Then he would…

I didn't get any farther than that, because at that moment, I turned the mower around toward the house and jumped about ten feet in the air.

James Potter was sitting in a lawn chair on the deck.

He started walking toward me with a very cute grin on his face. I might as well admit it now that I might, possibly fancy him just a bit, despite what I say at school, but only Alice knows this, and she is sworn to secrecy. And I should also admit that I was secretly imagining James being the one to "rescue me" from the evil lawn mower, and not imagining my creepy neighbor or a complete stranger.

So now you can accurately imagine the surprise I felt and the panicky thoughts that were running through my head when I saw James start walking toward me.

"What are you doing here, James?" I asked, rather calmly, I must admit.

"I was just in the neighborhood," he said. But we both knew he was lying. And he knew that I knew, because he was wearing that adorable grin that he wore when he knew he was in trouble. "Lily, would you like me to finish this up for you?"

It took me a minute to realize that he had actually said that. It took me another minute to find my voice to ask him the question that I had already imagined saying.

"Are you sure you want to?"

Wouldn't you know that James laughed, and then proceeded to say: "Of course I do. Why don't you run inside and get something to drink. You look parched."

I nodded, then headed into the house in a daze. I gulped down a glass of water, because I really was parched. Then I practically ran to the bathroom to wash my red, sweat soaked face and pick the grass out of my hair. I glanced at the shower, but I already knew that it would be rude to take a shower (see above fantasies). So instead, I refilled my water glass and grabbed James one, then headed back outside.

James was almost done with the yard when I got back out there. One thing I didn't imagine was that James would take his shirt off. Boy, am I glad that he did though. James has a nice body. I think I stopped breathing for a few seconds when I first saw him. Then I had to keep reminding my self to breathe. Step, breathe, step, take a sip of water, breathe, step, breathe…

When James was done he took his glass and sat down next to me in the chair he occupied earlier when I first saw him.

"Why did you really come here today, James?" I asked, burning with curiosity.

He looked at me a moment, debating whether or not to tell me the truth, I guessed. Then he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I wanted to see and talk to you outside of school, plus, Alice owled me a few days ago and hinted that perhaps your feelings toward me had changed over the years. She made it sound like I might have a chance with you. It sounded too good to be true, and it took me until today to get up the courage to come see you."

Humph. I can't believe my best friend went behind my back to tell the guy that I fancy that I fancy him. How embarrassing.

"I can't believe she told you," I grumbled.

"I'm glad she did," James said softly.

I looked up to James at that moment. He was looking at me with a different expression than I had ever seen before. I couldn't read it at all.

Then he leaned over and kissed me. And I kissed him back, letting him know that whatever Alice had told him was true, that I did fancy him, and that I definitely mind that he was kissing me. When we broke apart, I had to ask him one thing before we did anything else.

"James, can you read my mind?"

"Er, no. Why do you ask?" James asked, looking slightly confused.

"Because you just made all my fantasies come true," I told him, then leaned over to kiss him again.

Note From "Author":

ONESHOT 30! YAY!

I'm getting there.

Thanks for the support from everyone, I have a million more ppl to ask this summer!


	32. Oneshot 31: TITLE IN STORY

Denial's not just a river in Egypt

Oneshot #31

By: clowns-scare-me

"And then the look on McGonagall's face was just priceless! Honestly whatever came over Potter-"

Lily's mind began to wander as her best friends Alice and Marlene chattered endlessly about the scene they had just witnessed in the Great Hall. Of course they didn't know the full story. But how was she supposed to tell them that she had been making bets and friendly conversation with her sworn enemy? The boy she loved to hate! The boy she told she'd rather go out with the giant squid then with him!

She didn't that's how.

Lily snapped her mind back into focus as they reached the portrait and said the password. As she stepped through into the common room behind her friends she noticed a rather rowdy group of boys sitting in the best chairs around the fire. With a bit of a smile she noticed that the squishiest arm chair was claimed by James Potter. He may have lost the bet to sit in it once but that obviously didn't stop him from sitting in it again.

"Lily what are you smiling at?" Marlene asked shooting a curious glance at her friend.

Lily snapped her eyes foreword at that all traces of the smile gone from her face. She feigned an innocent look as her friends examined her. "Nothing I wasn't smiling." Lily claimed, desperately hoping that her friends wouldn't look over in the Marauders direction.

But alas her hopes where not heeded as Alice shot a curious look where Lily had been smiling. "Oh!" she squealed shrilly, delighted. "Look Marlene look!"

Marlene looked quickly as Alice all but jumped up and down on the spot. Lily could feel her face beginning to heat up.

"_Potter?" _Marlene gasped surprised. Lily's face was so hot now she would be willing to bet that you could fry an egg on it. _What is with my sudden obsession with betting?_ Lily thought dryly before focusing her attention on her squealing friends, just as the rest of the common room was doing.

"Since when have you fancied Potter?" Marlene asked her arms crossed over her chest, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah how come we weren't told of this interesting development?" Alice asked mock angry.

"What development?!" Lily cried running her hands through her red hair. "I don't fancy him!"

Marlene snorted. "Uh huh. Then why were you just smiling over in his direction Lils?" she asked laughingly.

"You know come to think of it." Alice began "You have been acting very differently towards him this year Lily."

Marlene looked thoughtful. "She's right you have."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I have not! I've acted the same way around James this year as I have for the last six!"

Both Alice and Marlene looked at each other confidently. Lily looked at them both cautiously. What did they know that she didn't?

"No Lily you haven't." Alice said shaking her head smiling.

Confusion covered Lily's features. "Yes I have! Do you not pay attention or are we talking about different people?!"

"You haven't Lily because all year you guys have been civil not to mention nice to each other. Why I don't think you've cursed him once! Not to mention all those hours spent _alone_ together in the Head quarters." Alice said shaking her head at Lily's expression.

"Well maybe we just grew out of the mean, name calling, pranking, hexing phase did you ever think of that!" Lily cried out in her defense.

"Not to mention-" Marlene continued as though Lily had never even spoken. "You just called him James."

Lily stopped. She had no idea what to say to that. She supposed the easiest thing was that she could have just told them about the bet with James but for some reason she didn't want to. Mostly because that was something she wanted to keep to herself but also because she knew they would just tease her more if they knew about it.

"Ooo Marlene I do believe we've just rendered her speechless." Alice said with a giggle at Lily's face.

Lily scowled at her friends as they both giggled.

"Regardless of all of that I do not fancy the bloke." Lily said defiantly, placing her folded arms against her chest.

Marlene only giggled louder. "Lily come on, if you two don't fancy each other then Romeo and Juliet hated each other."

"Puts a whole new spin on the play then doesn't it?" Lily asked without missing a beat, her hands now on her hips.

Alice laughed. "You know Lils the Nile's not just a river in Egypt."

Lily looked at her puzzled. "What?"

"You know" Alice explained. "The Nile. Denial. It all makes perfect sense." She said waving her hand in the air as if brushing away the look on Lily's features.

Lily just looked at her two friends. "You two are crazy." She said finally.

"Are we?" Marlene asked her eyebrows raised.

"Yes, you are." Lily said wearily.

"Well…" Marlene began. "At least we don't fancy James Potter!" and with that her and Alice ran in a fit of giggles up to their dormitory leaving Lily alone in the common room.

Where, she just realized, the Marauders were sitting staring at Lily having hear everything.

Lily glanced at them out of the corner of her eye. Peter looked excited, Sirius looked rather smug and Remus looked shocked. And James well-

Lily stole a quick glance at James. His face was completely blank but Lily thought she saw a little glimmer of hope in his glass framed eyes.

Lily closed her own eyes. After six years of denying his advances after six years of loathing the very ground the boy walked on, the very air he _breathed_, she went and started to fancy him.

"Damn you Potter." She whispered aloud opening her eyes and turning to face him.

He looked up at her, his hazel eyes wide. "What did I do?" he asked confused as for once he hadn't done anything for her to get mad at him for.

Lily sighed and ran her hand through her hair again, reminding both James and herself of the habit he used to have that she had hated so much. Quickly she pulled her hand from her tresses and looked over in his direction with a sigh. Fixing her gaze on his she looked him square in the eye before saying….

"You made me have to find someone else to hate."

AN-the next shot will be more focused on James in case you were wondering. If you want one of what the Marauders were talking about before the girls came in and what James was thinking during the girls talk let me know, if not its gonna be something else.


	33. Oneshot 32: TITLE IN STORY

Jealousy can save a marriage

Oneshot #32

By: XxStephxX

James Potter was livid, he couldn't remember a time when he had been this mad before. Five minutes earlier he had just been sad and heartbroken, but now… now he was so incensed he could barely think straight.

It wasn't enough that his wife had stormed out after a fight _three days ago_, and he hadn't seen her since. But then Sirius had called him—he was working behind a bar in a restaurant—and told him that Lily was there with a guy. So James was livid because his wife was on a date, and in his opinion he had every right to be angry with her. She hadn't been home in three days and now she was with some guy. Had she been with him since she left? Or even before that?

Lily was sitting at a table with an Auror called Ben, she had met him the day before in Diagon Alley. He had asked her out and she saw it was the perfect opportunity to prove a point to James. So she had accepted the date and suggested they go to the restaurant she knew Sirius was working. They hadn't even been there five minutes when James arrived, as she knew he would.

She quietly excused herself to go the bathroom. She walked straight past James and Sirius. She didn't even make it to the bathroom door before she felt James' hand on her wrist and he twirled her round to face him. His handsome face was twisted in anger.

"Oh hello," said Lily casually, trying to ignore the look in eyes.

"Hello? Hello?" said James furiously. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Well I was on my way to the bathroom before you intervened," said Lily. She put her hand on her hips just to bring James' attention to her slinky black dress with a plunging neckline. And sure enough his eyes traveled down; it was impossible to miss the lust in his eyes. Her plan was working.

"Who the hell is that?" said James, trying to ignore how tight his trousers were starting to feel.

"Oh that," said Lily looking out at her date. "His name is Ben, he's an Auror too, maybe you know him."

"I don't care who the hell he is."

"Then why did you ask?" asked Lily, then she couldn't help but add. "You really shouldn't swear so much, this is a nice place."

"Cut the shit, what is going on? What are you doing here with _him_?" said James, who could almost literally feel his blood pressure rising. Lily always did have a way of infuriating him more than anyone else could.

"Well he asked me out, and I couldn't of a reason to say no," said Lily, slightly afraid of what James' reaction would be.

"You… you couldn't…" spluttered James, looking like he was about to explode. He grabbed her left hand then he saw that her wedding and engagement rings weren't on her finger. "I guess I don't count as a reason. Four years together don't count as a reason… three days was all it took for you to find my replacement. Was it even three days? Did you even wait until you left? Merlin only knows what you were doing while I was at work…"

SLAP!! Lily's hand connected with James' cheek.

"You're right, you wouldn't know what I was doing because you were always at work! I could have dyed my hair blue and you wouldn't have noticed!"

"I would so… I love your hair," James argued.

"Well I think I left a hairbrush behind, I hope the two of you will be very happy together!"

"You're being ridiculous."

"No I'm not… now if you don't mind I have a date to get back to," said Lily, trying to brush past James but he reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"You're _my_ wife, do you think I'm just going to let you go back out there to him?" hissed James.

"What are you going to do James?" she whispered as if she was challenging him. "Drag me out kicking and screaming?"

"Do I have to?" he whispered into her ear, then he nibbled softly on it.

"Goodbye James. You'll be hearing from my attorney in the next few days," said Lily. She hated that James knew her weak spots so well, he always knew how to calm her down and make her give in. But she couldn't give in, not this time. He wasn't going to win so easily.

"You are my wife…"

"So you've said, but that won't be an issue for much longer."

"You are my wife. I love you and I won't let you go without one hell of a fight."

"Don't start a fight you can't win," said Lily, pulling her wrist out of James' grasp and walking back to her date, feeling James' eyes on her the entire time.

--

An hour later after Lily and Ben had finished dinner and paid the bill, and they left together. On the way out Lily asked Ben about his new flat, he was describing the living room when they walked past James, just to make sure he thought that Lily was going home with Ben. James watched as they left and then turned back to the bar.

"Fire whiskey," barked James. Sirius poured him a drink. "Just leave the bottle, mate."

"You sure?" asked Sirius, knowing that James would just spend the night drowning his sorrows, throw up and then have to be carried home.

"Lily is screwing some guy… so my choices are either kill him or get wasted," said James miserably.

"Alright just take it easy, mate," said Sirius, leaving the bottle next to James.

"I'm not making any promises," said James downing his first drink in one big gulp.

"You might want to hold off on that, and turn around," said Sirius.

James turned round and there was Lily standing a few feet away from him, glaring at him.

"Alright the jealous possessive husband act worked this time, but if you try and pull that again I will screw the guy and make sure you watch," said Lily angrily, pointing at him. But James just smiled like an idiot at her.

"You came back, I knew you couldn't do it."

"Shut up," said Lily furiously.

"I was an idiot and I'm sorry, I got caught up with work and took you for granted. I won't do it again," said James, still grinning as he stood in front of her.

"You better not."

"I won't, you made your point with this little stunt."

"Good," smiled Lily.

Suddenly without warning James picked her up and twirled her round.

"I think it's time to get you home Mrs. Potter, the place hasn't been the same without you," said James.

Lily Potter spend the rest of that night in the arms of her jealous, possessive, thoughtless, selfish husband that loved her with all his heart.


	34. Oneshot 33: A First Date

A First Date

Oneshot #33

By: Zayz

It was the question of the day-Lily Evans; will you go out with me?

Ugh, how I loathe that question; I especially loathe the person who asks it five million times a day, every day. But today-Valentine's Day (the absolute _worst_ holiday of the year, by the way)-_every single stupid boy in our year has asked me out._ I turned them all down obviously, each rejection progressively snappier, until James Potter came to me for his turn.

"Lil, do you want to go out for a bit of coffee today?" he asked, his tone much more mature than usual. I looked curiously at him, contemplating how he had gotten such a pleasing attitude adjustment so quickly.

"Um…" How was I supposed to respond to that when my guard had been knocked down so unfairly?

"You can always say yes," he hinted, grinning, as though he had read my mind. "It's not a word you've used much today, I've noticed."

What the heck; I decided that this was the politest offer I'd gotten all day, so I'd accept it.

"If you go with me as a friend and not as an irritating jerk euphoric of his fantastic date…then all right," I agreed against my better judgment.

James's mouth dropped open. "You're seriously going to spend time alone with me? Willingly?"

"I can't believe the words are coming out of my mouth, but yes," I said grudgingly. "You presented the most gracious proposition I'd gotten today."

His expression of dumbfounded surprise changed to elation as I told him this. "Do you want to go right now?"

I checked my watch; it was noon.

"Oh, all right," I said.

He beamed. "Then let's go!"

I laughed. "Okay." There was a certain satisfaction to making him so happy, so I allowed him to take my hand and lead me out to Hogsmeade village.

We reached Madam Puddifoot's after a few minutes, and like a gentleman, James opened the door for me. I couldn't really explain how I felt at that moment, but it _couldn't _be affection; it was not possible to go from absolute detestation to affection in five minutes. Not only was it impracticable, it wasn't even logical; James Potter can _not_ win his way into my heart so easily. I wouldn't let him.

We took a seat at a tiny pink table, and I attempted to find my original guard; somehow, it had fallen, and I was determined to rebuild it. I was softening already; this was very, _very_ bad. He smiled at me then, but neither of us could find anything to say that would bridge the awkward silence appropriately.

Eventually, I sighed and said, "Well, you have me here, like you've always wanted, so say something."

"Okay then; let's make this a bit more interesting, shall we?" He looked at me with almost mischievous interest. "Let's play a game of truth. I'll ask you a question, and you have to give me an honest answer, all right?"

"So long as the question is socially acceptable and won't get on my nerves or cause me any discomfort, then yes, I will play," I said.

"Fine; I'll start," James said. "How about…what's your favorite color?"

"What kind of a question is that?"

"I've always wondered; just answer it."

"Mmmm…lavender." I thought for a moment and asked, "For mine, what's your favorite color?"

"Auburn," he resolved after a second, touching my hair. "This color auburn." He smiled. "What is your favorite food?"

"Chocolate," I said. "My turn; has your favorite color always been auburn, or is it only because you're trying to suck up to me?"

"A bit of both," he said, laughing. "Now for the question that I've wanted to ask for quite some time…do you like me, or is this a pity date?"

I considered. "This is a game of truth, but I can't really answer that one honestly."

"That's not fair," he complained. "Just tell me what you're thinking; I won't get upset or anything."

"Well…I do sort of like you, but not really. This was a pity date, but I was genuinely curious how things would work out."

He nodded. "Thank you for being honest."

I nodded as well. "And for my question…have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Yes," James answered. "Twice. But I never felt anything, so I usually answer that I haven't kissed a girl before. For you…have you ever kissed a boy?"

"Yes," I replied, blushing. "Once."

"Who was it?"

"Hush; it's still my turn," I said. "Um…which girls did _you_ kiss?"

"Emma Bailey and Morgan York," he replied. "Now who did _you_ kiss?"

"I really don't want to tell you," I said, turning pink.

"It's a game of truth, Lily; you're under an obligation to tell me."

"Oh, all right; it was Remus."

James nearly fell out of his chair. "You kissed _Remus_?"

"Yes, I did, and I liked it, so hush," I told him, steadily going towards the scarlet shade.

"Um…well, I'm sorry if this crosses any boundaries, but did you ever really love him?" he asked. "You always did seem to get on a little too well."

"I did love Remus," I admitted. "But we never went out, if that's what you're after. I kissed him that once, but that was all."

"Okay," he said, looking relieved. "Your turn."

"All right…you've never mentioned them, so that's why I'm asking, but do you have any siblings?"

"No," he said. "I guess you could consider Sirius my brother, but I don't have any blood-siblings."

"I see."

"Yeah." James smiled. "Do you have any pets? Other than your sister, I mean?"

I laughed. "I have a dog, and her name is Brianna, after my favorite cousin. She's a Golden Retriever, and she's two years old."

"That's cool," he said. "Maybe I should meet Brianna some time; I love dogs."

"I hope not, because then you'd have to be over at my house."

"Oh yes, Lily; that's very nice," he said sarcastically. "Now it's your turn."

"Okay. So…I heard a rumor the other day that you have had thirty eight girlfriends throughout your five years here. Is that true?" I was burning to know if that was false or not; thirty eight?!

James snorted. "Of course it's not true. I've gone out with about thirty eight, but I've only ever gone steady with eight of them."

"Really?" This was surprising; I would have thought that someone like James would have gone steady with more than just eight in five years.

"Well, yes," he said. "Is that so difficult to believe?"

I made a face. "You know as well as I do that it's a different number than people have in mind when they look at you."

He pretended to look offended. "If you were any other girl, you would have a Jelly-Legs Jinx on you by now. But as it is…"

I rolled my eyes. "Suck up. But I am curious…while we're on the subject of women you've loved, have you ever told any of them that you loved them and really meant it?"

"I've said it twelve dozen times or so, but only to one girl."

"Whose name is…?"

"Lily Evans," he informed me, grinning.

I rolled my eyes again, but smiled back at him. "Had it come from anyone other than you, that would have been quite becoming. Your turn again."

"Hmmmm…do you mind it if I ask you why you never gave me a chance before now?" he inquired, his eyes right on mine.

I blushed. "Well, you were always this arrogant, flirty guy who happened to be a phenomenal Quidditch player; you were irksome and way out of my league. I thought that I knew your type, but I discovered today that I don't, and it was purely by accident."

"I see…well, it's your turn again." He was obviously dissecting my response in his head, and was lost in his own thoughts as I came up with my question.

"I've always been curious as to why you chose _me_ to be you're your crush," I said. "Why me? Why not someone else?"

"I'm not quite sure," he said slowly. "I guess it was because you were always different. You were beautiful, but you were intuitive and clever too. You didn't like me, which presented a challenge. You were sweet though; you were very sweet, and tried to be kind to everyone…besides the Marauders and me, of course." He smiled. "In short, you are simply amazing in every way, and that is why I chose you."

I did my easy blush again. "Really? Well, it's your turn now."

"Now that I told you why I like you, however, I want to know how _you_ feel about _me_," he countered.

I sighed. "I can honestly say I don't know, James."

"Can you try?"

I bit my lip. "I…I think I like you too. You're kind of cute when you don't look like a tornado survivor, I suppose, and when you act like a human being, the way you are now, I guess I enjoy being in your company."

I was almost talking to the table rather than to him, but when I looked into his face, I saw that there was a red on his cheeks that I had never seen before.

"James Potter, are you _blushing_?" I asked, pretending to look shocked.

"Maybe." He coughed.

"No, that was my question; are you blushing? Why?" I had to know; I had _never_ seen James blush before. It was a good, modest thing to do; of course I had never seen it happen.

"I was blushing because I was…flattered, like anyone would be to such a strange compliment," he said, still a healthy pink.

"Fine, whatever," I dismissed. "Now ask me something."

"Very well," he said. "How about…if I tried to kiss you right now, would you let me?"

"I'd like to say no, but I'm not entirely sure anymore," I confessed.

"It's Valentine's Day, Lils; anything can happen."

"I'll admit that you've softened me today, but that doesn't mean that I will let you try anything."

"I guess." He looked a bit sorrier about this fact that he ought to, though.

"I mean it."

"I know."

"Seriously!"

"I know," he repeated.

"Don't try anything; I swear I'll hurt you."

"Okay."

"I'm warning you…"

"I heard you."

A moment of hostile silence.

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

Then he kissed my cheek.

I put my hand where his lips had touched me, unsure of how to react. Should I giggle, or just hit him? I settled for blushing scarlet and staying where I was. James grinned at me for reasons I couldn't imagine until he began to speak.

"What, no famous Lily Evans tantrum?" he teased. "Aren't you going to freak out, call me names, and run out on me?"

"If you'd rather I did that, I can arrange that," I said.

"No, no, it's fine," he amended. "I'm just teasing you, Lil."

I looked at him with deep contemplation, watching his eyes very carefully. "James, my question to you now is why the hell you still care about me."

His eyes were genuinely perplexed. "Excuse me?"

"I'm horrible to you!" I burst our. "I lie to you, I torture you, I reject you, I insult you; why do you still care for me?"

"There will never be a day when I don't care about you, Lily," he promised me. "But I feel I should know…when have you lied to me?"

"Never mind that," I said, waving the matter aside impatiently. "Just please stop caring about me; I can't take it."

"That's one of the very few things I can't do for you," James said. "I apologize."

I bit my lip and turned away, ready to burst into tears. One date had done all this to me! There was a reason why I didn't hang around with him on a daily basis, and this was it.

"I believe that it is now my turn in our little game, and I want to ask you why you're afraid of me," his quiet voice told me.

"I'm not afraid of you; merely annoyed," I retorted. "Who wouldn't be? You've destroyed me after just one date."

"I haven't destroyed you, Lily; your own feelings have," James said wisely. "You're letting on too much, and that's probably why you think that it's _me_ who's ruining everything."

"You know what?" I said, standing up. "I don't need to listen to this. I've had a marvelous time playing Truth with you, and this date has been a pleasure, James Potter, but I am going to abscond at this moment in time."

For some reason, he was amused, and made no move to stop me. "All right," he said placidly. "Good-bye."

"I'm going now," I informed him.

"Okay. Thank you for granting me an hour of your valuable time."

"You're welcome."

"I'm leaving."

"Sure."

"Good-bye."

"Bye."

"I'm _really_ going to go now."

"I know."

I sighed, beyond infuriated. "Shake my hand."

He shook it.

"Well, I'll see you later."

"Okay."

"Bye."

He smiled as though enjoying a private joke and waved.

I nodded and flounced out of the shop, feeling horrid. After I was out though, I couldn't help myself; I went to the window and peered into it, trying to see James. He was sitting there as though he was expecting my reaction, and he waved to me again from his spot; he looked close to laughter.

Taking care to make quite a lot of noise, I stomped back to the tea shop.

"I hate you," I grumbled.

He beamed, but didn't bother responding.

"Okay, well, I guess I like you a little bit," I confessed.

"I know."

"You are so pompous!"

"Again, I know."

I made a face at him. "Fine then; I won't do it."

"You were going to kiss me?"

Damn it, how did he always know?"

"Yes," I said determinedly.

"Where would you have kissed me?"

"The cheek."

"Not on the lips?"

"Never."

James shrugged. "I got a date, and I'm grateful for it; the kiss will come in its own time."

The anticipation was too much; I was too curious, he was too cute, and the opportunity was too perfect. I leaned forward and kissed him once on his lips, just briefly.

He was too stunned to say anything coherent, and I was too. "Thank you," he said eventually in a tone of wonderment.

I hated myself for it, but I hugged him for a split second. "You're welcome."

I sat with him in a dignified silence for a little while, but when I got up to leave for real that time, James called out to me.

"Lily?"

I turned around almost too eagerly to see him grin at me for the millionth time that afternoon.

"Happy Valentine's Day."


	35. Oneshot 34: Crazy Muggle Holidays

Crazy Muggle Holidays

Oneshot # 24

By: Marauder Number Five

Lily Evans was dumbfounded, shocked, and just plain confused. Standing below her were the Marauders. In her town. On her street. In her backyard. Lounging in her pool. And no, she most certainly did not let them back there.

But of course the Marauders weren't dressed as normal Muggles. In fact they weren't even dressed as normal wizards! No, that would make Lily's life much too easy. But because the gods wanted her to suffer, the Marauders had appeared in her backyard and were hanging out in her pool on giant rafts dressed in what appeared to be clothes from many centuries ago.

Lily hadn't done anything wrong at all. She had just woken up and brushed her hair as she normally did. She then put on some Muggle clothes, as per her daily routine. Just as she was ready to go downstairs to fix herself some breakfast in her empty house, both her parents worked and her sister had moved out two years ago after she got married, she heard what sounded like a distinct splash. She moved to her window and pulled open the shades. Lo and behold, there were the Marauders!.

What was even stranger was that it was only ten o'clock in the morning. For all her years at Hogwarts, she had known only Sirius Black to be awake before noon during their breaks. For some reason the boy seemed to be able to function perfectly well on a minimum of five hours of sleep. The other three were normally dead to the world until lunch though.

Potter, who had been perched on an orca and staring rather intently at the back door, looked up at the sound of Lily's window opening. Shouting to the others as he rocked the whale to the edge of the pool, "Guys positions! Evs is up!"

Leaping up out of the pool, Sirius and Peter, both dressed in red, walked over to the far end of the pool by the steps leading to the shallow end. Remus had appeared to have fallen asleep in a giant purple blow-up chair. "OI MOONY!" screeched Sirius. "IT'S TIME!"

Shocked by the noise of his rambunctious friend, Remus jerked awake, successfully tipping his chair backwards, plummeting into the water. With his friends guffawing and Lily still gaping, he clumsily swam over by the diving board and hauled himself out of the water. He then positioned himself next to James and straightened his three corner hat.

Finding her voice, Lily called down to them, "What the hell are you guys doing?"

"Just watch Evs!" James called up merrily. "Ready guys? One, two, three, GO!"

To Lily's amusement, they began to skip around her pool, humming a little tune. Sirius and James both had an extra spring to their step and Peter looked as if he was trying very hard not to fall into the pool. A soaked Remus seemed to drag himself along. And then they sang. **(James,** _Sirius_, Remus, _Peter,_ _**Everyone)**_

_**Happy Fourth of July, Fourth of July, Fourth of July! Happy Fourth of July to Lily Evans today!**_

**Welcome my dear Evans, who is greater than the heavens! Welcome my dear Evans, to our celebration today!**

_**Happy Fourth of July, Fourth of July, Fourth of July! Happy Fourth of July to Lily Evans today!**_

**I am here to bring you some cheer!**

_I came to support that deer!_

_When agreeing I was drunk on beer!_

They threatened to tell people I'm queer.

_**Happy Fourth of July, Fourth of July, Fourth of July! Happy Fourth of July to Lily Evans today!**_

_Lily Marie Evs, I have something important to says! Today is the Fourth of July and Prongs asked for help so I complied!_

_He just wanted you to know, that appreciation for Muggles he can show!_

I'd like to apologize for the behavior of us guys. They forced me to write these stupid poems otherwise I'd be beat with jeroboams. Not all of the grammar makes sense, for these buffoons are rather dense. I tried to explain that it's celebrated in the States, but they ignored me and opened your gates. It's a holidays for all Muggles they said, she'll love us all till she's dead! I pleaded and I begged, but they threatened that I would be egged. So here we are dressed like retards, I'd much rather be playing cards.

**Ignore Moony, he's a wee bit loony; We all look dashing, like super models we sure are smashing! What that silly boy was supposed to say is that if you date me you'll always have your way!**

_**Happy Fourth of July, Fourth of July, Fourth of July! Happy Fourth of July to Lily Evans today!**_

"…" Was the sound of Lily's reaction.

James then stepped forward and announced, "And now, a reenactment of a battle between the American Militia and the Redcoats."

For the next fifteen minutes Lily watched James and Remus, who were dressed in tattered navy clothes, hide behind her bushes and trees, launching guerilla warfare attacks at Peter and Sirius. They even had fake rifles. Sirius found it highly amusing to poke Peter with the pointy end of his, even though they were supposed to be on the same side. All throughout the battle, Sirius and Peter cried out in random Spanish phrases. The sad part was that their Spanish vocabulary didn't go past 'AY CARAMBA!' or 'DOS CERVEZAS POR FAVOR!'

At the very end, James successfully tied Peter and Sirius together and sent them floating on a large raft in the middle of Lily's pool. "Watch me drink tea in Boston now! Just watch" he cried insanely at them

Sighing, Remus took off his hat. "Can we please stop this insanity now?"

"AHA!" James cried out, flinging a finger into Remus's face. "A traitor in my midst! You shall meet the same fate as my enemies!"

"Wait, what?" Remus asked, looking around to see if James had more rope with him. But James was short on rope and floaties so he decided to improvise.

SPLASH!

"JAMES!" Remus screamed. "I WAS JUST BEGINNING TO DRY OFF!"

"That's what happens to traitors," he shrugged. "So Lily!" he beamed up at her. "Did you like our show? We did lots of research on the Revolving War and I know that Muggles celebrate the day that all of the bald guys with the freaky wigs sent an owl to Queen Isabella of Spain, demanding that they change the uniforms to red before they fought a war between the Incas so that way their uniforms would be easier to see! Queen Izzy obviously wasn't happy about that so she sent her newly uniformed soldiers to destroy the Americans who attacked them with gorillas! Now all the Muggles are free to drink tea in Boston!"

On a more thoughtful note, he added, "You know, Muggles back then were rather weird. Still are, come to think of it. Celebrating sending an owl...Crazy Muggle Holidays!"

"Potter, Remus was right. The Revolutionary War was fought between the Americans and the British so they could become a country of their own. It's celebrated by Americans and only Americans. Even American wizards." Lily giggled from her window. It was quite adorable, seeing him standing in front of the pool in oversized rags with the hat slipping down several inches.

James's face fell. "Oh…but they still used gorillas right?"

"No Potter."

"Oh…do you still want to see the fireworks?"

"Sure, Potter."

"Peter hit the button!"

Peter reached inside his pocket and pressed what was obviously the button that James had mentioned. From somewhere behind the shed, fireworks exploded and depicted the exact battle that the Marauders had just shown. Except this time it involved gorillas attacking Sirius and Peter and Remus did not prove himself to be a traitor.

By the end, Lily was a giggling heap of laughter. The boys were so insane, it was just…wild.

"SHIT!" she heard Sirius scream. "PRONGS, IT'S HALF PAST ELEVEN! WE'RE LATE!"

"Shit!" James hollered. "Evs, we gotta go, my dad's birthday party started a half hour ago!"

With a loud crack, the Marauders were gone. Lily's stomach growled at her, reminding her that she had neglected her breakfast in all of the insanity. As she went downstairs to prepare herself some eggs, she wasn't sure of her feelings towards James or the boys' mental health. One thing that she did know for sure was that Seventh Year was not going to be boring with James as Head Boy.


	36. Oneshot 35: And Then My Child Exploded

And Then My Child Exploded

Oneshot #35

By: Siriusly Klutzy

"Erm, Prongs?"

Oh no.

"Yeah, Padfoot?"

Silence.

Damnit.

I _knew _letting Sirius handle Harry for just five minutes was a bad idea. I could only be grateful that there wasn't an explosion. Yet.

"I think I broke your son," he finally answered.

I jumped up from my bed and dashed over to Harry's room to find Sirius sitting on the floor with Harry in his lap, toy trains and fake wands lying all over the place. Along with a plastic gnome I don't remember buying, but I didn't question that.

"What," I asked, panting and mentally cursing myself for being out of shape from not playing Quidditch in a while, "did you do?"

"I don't know!" he exclaimed, panicked. Death Eaters? No problem, Sirius would blast them out of their shoes. Whomping Willows? No scarier than the Easter Bunny. But a potentially broken baby had him shaking in his boots. Of course, I was panicked, too. What did Sirius do to Harry? How had he broken my son?

"What do you mean you don't know?" I asked quickly, my words stringing together. I sat down next to the two and looked Harry over. No bumps, bruises, or visible bleeding. He was breathing. Everything _seemed _okay. "He looks fine to me," I said, visibly relaxing.

"Look at his face! It's all scrunched up! What's wrong with him?"

Harry's face _was _scrunched up. "He looks like he's going to be sick? Is he groaning? Padfoot! What did you do to Harry?" I jumped up and pointed a finger accusingly at him.

He stood up as well, but more slowly as not to make Harry any sicker than he actually was.

"I didn't do anything! He just got all scrunchy like that and started making funny noises! Should we bring him to Saint Mungo's?"

"I don't know."

"You're a dad! _Think _like one! What's wrong with him?"

Needless to say, both of us were back to panicking, Sirius pacing around the room with Harry and his scrunched up face, me standing still trying to remember if anything like this had happened before.

"Oh!" I said, finally remembering what was going on. It was so simple, really. And the Stupidest Father of the Year Award goes to… "Sirius!" I chuckled at the simplicity of the solution. Really, it was obvious. "I figured it out! He just needs to-"

Remember that explosion I was worried about? About what might happen if I left Sirius and Harry alone? This wasn't even close.

Harry exploded. Not literally, of course, Lily would have killed me. But it was pretty damn close.

"Sweet _Merlin_, Prongs!" Sirius shouted, now holding Harry at arms length. "Take him! For the love of Merlin, that's disgusting! Prongs, I think that's worse than Peter's! Take your repulsive son!"

Fatherly responsibilities kicking in, along with a mixture of pity for my mate, I took Harry grudgingly, but, like Sirius, held him at arms length.

Harry, whose face was no longer scrunched up like he was thinking extremely hard, or in this case willing himself to go, let out a giggle and started kicking in my arms, wafting the smell in every direction. When Sirius and I let out more groans of disgust, he giggled even more.

"He stinks, Prongs," Sirius noted. He was on the other side of the room now, with his nose pinched and facing the window waiting for a fresh breeze. I was envious.

"What do we do?" I called, turning my head away from the stinky and giggling baby. He must have inherited this from Lily's side of the family. Mum never complained about me being smelly as a child. Except when I got a little too close to Uncle Someone-who's-distantly-related's horse.

"We?" Sirius scoffed. "There is no '_we'_ here, mate, you're on your own."

"What?! If you don't stick around, I'm going to throw his nappy at you!" I threatened. Sirius spun around slowly.

"You wo- that is _disgusting_!" Sirius said.

"Help!"

"What do you expect me to do?" he shouted back but took a couple steps closer. It's very nice knowing that your mates will deal with a stench worse than death if you threaten and beg enough.

I thought for a moment about how to do this. "Okay," I said finally. "Hold him under the arms and I'll attack the bottom. That way we have less of a chance of getting something on the carpet." I wasn't at the top of my year for nothing.

"How do we get his clothes off?" Sirius asked before taking my repulsive son, who I, of course, loved dearly. But he smelled ridiculously foul.

"Use your wand?" I suggested, still holding Harry out at arms length. Sirius grinned and pulled his wand out of his pocket. "Careful," I warned, "I think there's something _on _them."

He crinkled his nose and flicked the wand. Harry's clothes vanished, leaving only a disgustingly poop-covered child in my arms.

"Where'd you send them?" I asked, extremely grateful that not all of my Quidditch fitness had worn off; my arms were hardly tired.

He grinned mischievously and it brought back many pranking memories. "Dear old Mum."

We both stopped to think of the possibilities for a moment, but Harry broke our moment of reminiscing by letting out a very loud, inappropriate noise which, consequently, added even more to the mess at hand.

"Oh, gross."

"Prongs, that reeks. It's got to be the foulest thing I've ever smelled."

"We've got to get it off. And then burn it."

Sirius nodded. "Where's Lily again?"

"She went some place with Alice or something. I don't remember. Okay, here, hold him under the arms and I'll… pull the nappy off or something."

"Haven't you done this before?" Sirius asked. He took Harry and kept him a good ways away from his nose. Smart move.

It's true that Lily handled most of the nappies, but I hadn't _never _done it before. I've done it almost as much as Lily has. She just loves me too much to make me have to deal with it, thank Merlin for that. I've never had one _this _bad though.

"Of course I have!"

"Okay, then go!"

I made my way over to the toxic baby. Slowly. No sudden movements. Who knew what was in there now? We might have given it too much time to sit, it could have developed limbs, or a brain, or other things that would be equally terrifying for it to have.

Harry, my ignorant son who apparently had a deficient nose, was still giggling happily. How he couldn't smell that was beyond me. It was… _urgh._

In one swift motion, the nappy was off and hovering over the bin. I flicked my wand a bit and, without splattering a drop of brown… _ick_, rolled it so it was in a nice, tight, nasty, but not nearly as nasty as before, ball. And with that, I dropped it into the bin with a breath of relief.

"Don't smile so soon, Prongs. Harry's still covered," Sirius called, bringing my attention to the new task at hand.

Cleaning Harry.

"What do we do?" Sirius asked.

"Wipe him off?" I suggested.

"With what?"

"Very good question, mate."

We sat there pondering on what to do with Harry (it was much easier now that the smell wasn't as strong and I didn't have the urge to toss him and his smelly galore out the window) for a good three minutes, Sirius still holding Harry at arms length but I could see that he was slowly getting lower and lower.

"We could put him in the tub?" Sirius offered as he tried to prop Harry up some more.

So that's what we did. Sirius carried naked, filthy Harry downstairs to the bathroom and held him over to the tub while I filled it with water. Once it was a reasonable amount, Harry went in and the poo started coming off.

Kind of.

"What do we do about the bits that aren't coming off?" I asked Sirius as I dumped loads of _Nanny Zelda's Ultra Soap_ in the tub. It started bubbling the moment it went in, causing Harry to start about with his happy giggling again. I don't see how he could be happy. He was sitting around in his own waste. His own wet waste. Sirius and I were only witnessing it and we were disgusted.

My son was truly mad, another trait he must have acquired from dearest Lily.

"Here," I said, tossing Sirius a wash cloth. "Scrub him with this."

Sirius looked shocked. "Prongs, when we signed up for this baby thing, I did not agree to do bath time."

"I have to go find more clothes," I countered.

"Why can't I do that?" he protested.

"Because someone needs to make sure he won't drown."

"Why can't _you _do that?"

"Because you would come back with purple pants and a bright green shirt."

Sirius stayed quiet for a few seconds before, "Your son owns purple pants?"

I walked out of the room to find some decent clothes.

When I got back, bubbles were flooding out the door. Sirius and Harry were both covered in the sudsy bubbles when I walked in. I only found them because Harry was still giggling. I had to take out my wand and literally vanish the bubbles from the bathroom.

"Thanks, mate," Sirius said with a sigh of relief. "Harry got a little excited and kicked my wand out of my hand." He grinned and reached down to pick it up from its place next to the bin.

"Is he clean?" I asked hopefully

"Kind of."

I gave him a questioning look. "Kind of?"

"Well, I don't _see _anything. Maybe we should just wait until Li-"

"_WHY _are there _bubbles _in my kitchen?"

"-ly gets home… nevermind."

Right, this was much scarier than Death Eaters, the Whomping Willow, and a dirty nappy combined. This was my furious wife.

"Lily, darling!" I called, cursing myself for not noticing the apparent soap in our kitchen. _Why _wasn't I more observant?

I ran to the kitchen to see that, thankfully, there weren't nearly as many suds in here as there were in the bathroom. These only came up to out knees.

"_James_! What did you do?" she screeched. Alice was behind her with three bags and laughing hysterically. I feared that if she laughed any harder she would fall over and be lost in the meadow of soap suds.

"Exploded the cleaning closet by the looks of it," Alice said in between laughs. Lily and I both gave her our best 'Not helping' looks but she just continued laughing.

"Well, Harry, erm… made a mess," I said just as Sirius and Harry came out of the bathroom, still covered in soap.

"_Harry _made the mess?" Lily asked with a raised eye brow.

"In his pants," I confirmed.

"Oh. Harry made the mess. But, James, darling, that _doesn't _explain why there is _soap _in my kitchen!"

"Hello, Alice," Sirius said. "How's Frank? And Neville?"

She took a moment to catch her breath and to stop laughing. "Lovely, they're doing fine." Snort. "And yourself?"

"Just dandy," Sirius said with a grin. He shook his head so soap flew off and, well, onto more soap.

"Well, it was a _big _mess, Lily," I explained, backing towards the door. "It-"

"By 'it' do you mean poo?" Alice asked.

"Yes."

"Okay, just making sure."

We all rolled our eyes. "It was all over him. We didn't know what to… how to clean him!"

"So you fill my house with _soap suds_?"

"Well, _no_. We put him in the tub and… I guess I _might _have put in a bit too much."

"A _bit_? A BIT?" She seethed for a moment. "James, how did you not know how to do this? You've done it at least a hundred times before!"

"It was a _big_ mess," I defended. "And… it was Sirius's idea to put him in the tub!"

Lily turned to face Sirius. He held Harry up to show that the only way she could hurt him would be to go through Harry first. With one flick of her wand, he was standing in his underwear.

Lily and Alice both grinned.

"Where'd you send them?" I asked cautiously.

"Marlene's." Sirius visibly paled. "We were just curious as to what her new bloke will think about them." Marlene's new bloke had arms the size of _me_.

A/N:

I know this is by Siriusly Klutzy, but she is brilliant, so I keep on putting her in.

If you have any oneshots to submit, I would be delighted to read them. I would like to put as many up as I can before October, because then I'm going to India for six weeks (hehe) and probably won't have as much internet access, even though I'm at a rich school.


	37. Oneshot 36: Birthday Surprises

Birthday Surprises

Oneshot #36

By: B.C. Daily

"They're not closed."

"They are closed!"

"You're such a liar. I can see you peeking. Now close your bloody eyes!"

Lily let out an annoyed huff, squeezing her eyelids closed dramatically and choosing to ignore the fact that he was right, that she had indeed been peeking through her squinted eyelids as he shifted about in front of her. She sighed heavily, her thoughts rambling about in the darkness, waiting for him to get on with it.

She didn't do surprises. Not even birthday surprises.

"Are they closed?" James asked again, still suspicious. Lily thought he might be waving his hand in front of her face. She scowled, cracking open an eye.

"You have a minute," she warned. "Then it's no-more-eye-closing, got it?"

James grumbled as she closed her eyes once more.

"You're about the grouchiest birthday girl I know," he said. "Missing seventeen already?"

"Seventeen was a good year," Lily replied, sniffing. She leaned back into the couch he had forced her down upon after accosting her as she exited her bedroom on her way to breakfast this morning. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd seen him awake this early. "I have a feeling eighteen is going to be a bit sour," she added flatly.

"Not possible," James answered instantly.

Lily lifted an eyebrow. "How do you figure?"

She could practically hear the snarky grin in his voice.

"Well, you've got _me_ around now, haven't you?"

Lily snorted, shaking her head as a small laugh slipped from her lips. She didn't want to say it—didn't think his already over-sized head could handle it—but he was one of the main reasons that her seventeenth year had closed on such a high note. She tried not to think too much about it—knew that doing so would force her to accept a few things that her heart and her head weren't quite ready to accept just yet—but Lily had to acknowledge that the past three months being James Potter's girlfriend had certainly been...a lovely adventure.

Though this eye-closing bit was certainly rather testing.

"We'll see," she muttered in response, ignoring the tingling shivers that ran up and down her spine at his throaty chuckle. She sat up on the couch once more. "Can I open my eyes now?"

James clicked his tongue. "Patience is a virtue, love."

"Thirty seconds, James."

"And counting. I know. I get it."

"Twenty-six, twenty-_five_..."

"All right, you bloody spoil sport." She could hear him moving around. "You can open your ruddy eyes now."

"You know, you're not making this...oh."

Lily shut her mouth. She reeled back, her recently opened eyes blinking rapidly.

Oh.

_Oh_.

"Happy birthday, Lil," James said, grinning down at her. In his hands, thrust proudly out to her, he held a glass serving platter that was presently straining under the weight of a giant, pink cake.

He'd gotten her a cake.

A cake for her birthday.

"I know it's before 9 A.M.," he went on, sitting down on the couch next to her, placing the cake on the coffee table in front of them. She leaned over to get a better look. "But I figure the only reason people don't eat these things in the morning is because they're not _available_, see. So I figured I'd make one available. Pretty brill way to start off eighteen, yeah?"

"You got me a cake," was all Lily could get out, unable to take her eyes away from the pink dessert. "You got me a cake for my birthday."

James laughed.

"Well, yeah," he said. She could feel him staring at her. "It's tradition—you know, birthday cake, blow out the candles? People do it all the time. Granted, not usually before breakfast, but you've heard my theory on that. Oh," he suddenly said, leaning over a bit, as well, "and I know it rather _looks_ like it says 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY L-L-L-Y', but that's an 'I'. Those cake charms are bloody murderous. That first 'L' was originally looking a bit like an upside-down 'T', as well, but—"

Lily was finally able to tear her eyes away from the cake, her gaze snapping over to her boyfriend. "Wait," she said. "You...you _made_ this? You didn't buy it or anything?"

James threw her a questioning look. "Of course I made it," he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I mean, I had _help_—those house elves are dead useful, let me tell you—but it's mostly my handiwork. Impressed?"

Lily hummed a response, dragging her gaze away from James and back down to her birthday cake. Something inside her chest jumped as she stared at the large, square confection, the pink frosting, and the—albeit, yes—slightly odd-looking spelling of her name. Now that she really looked at it, she could see the cake was clearly homemade. Aside from the scrambled writing, the icing was bunched and smeared at certain places, and there was a slightly off-kilter look to it, as if, with a bit more of a shove, the whole top could go tumbling over.

It was the most beautiful cake she'd ever seen.

"I know it's a bit stupid," James said uneasily, obviously growing nervous at Lily's prolonged silence. She glanced over just in time to see him running a hand through his hair. "It's not my present or anything," he was quick to add, making that point clear. "I've got an actual gift, I swear, but I just thought...I don't know. I know you don't like surprises, but I thought you might—"

"No," Lily interrupted, shaking her head. James suddenly looked even more anxious. Lily couldn't help it then. She let the huge smile that had been bursting to come out crawl up onto her face. She practically shined at him. "I love it," she said. "I absolutely love it. The best birthday cake I've ever seen."

James laughed, sounding relieved. "You don't have to lie," he told her. "I mean, I haven't even spelled your name properly. And it's on a bit of an angle."

"It's lovely," Lily insisted. She leaned over the cake once more and felt a rush of giddiness seep through her. "Just wonderful."

James grinned, cocking an eyebrow her. "Almost wonderful enough to be worth a bit of eye-closing?" he asked

Lily laughed, unable to stop herself from reaching up to drop an enthusiastic kiss upon his lips. When she pulled away, her eyes were sparkling.

"Almost," she agreed.


	38. Oneshot 37: Sweet Sixteen

Sweet Sixteen

Oneshot #37

By: Marauder Number Five

Seventh Year Lily Evan sighed. It was 4:00 on December 16th, 1977. In exactly sixteen minutes and sixteen seconds Potter would come and ask her out. For the 84th time in the past seven years. She just couldn't wait.

If you missed that sarcasm…it was sarcasm.

James Potter had become quite infatuated with her during late November of First Year. One day he had come up to her, told her that he loved her, and simply walked away. Lily had been thoroughly baffled.

What confused her even more was when James came up to her again two days later. "What's your favorite number?" he had asked her.

"Sweet sixteen," she immediately replied. "Why?" But the messy haired boy had not heard her ask the question. As soon as she answered his inquiry, he sprinted down the hall to meet up with his friends.

For the next three weeks James did not regard Lily in any romantic way. She thought that he had gotten over his little crush on her until December 16th, 1971. He had swaggered up to her after Charms, their last class of the day, and asked her out. She promptly refused, seeing that it would not be fit to lead someone on that she did not like.

Crushed that he was rejected, James slunk away. He turned back at her one time and said, "Happy 4:16 Lily." Lily looked down at her watch and sure enough it was 4:16. At the time, she did not realize this significance and thought that the boy was mental.

Exactly one month later, James came up to Lily on a Saturday and asked her out again. Lily still refused. "Check your watch," James told her as he turned to leave. It was 4:16.

The next time James asked Lily out it was February 16th, 1972. The two were still First Years, although the year was quickly coming to an end. "Lovely Sunday isn't it Evans?" James had asked her. "Care to go out with me on a stroll?" "No thank you Potter." "It's okay, I'm used to it by now. Great time, isn't it?" A confused Lily checked her watch to see that it was 4:16.

A similar scenario continued all throughout First Year. Once a month James would ask out Lily, get rejected, and tell her to check the time. It was always 4:16.

Lily thought that she had escaped her pursuer over the summer holidays. But alas, one day in July a great big eagle owl flew into her window. It carried a letter that read.

_Hullo Lily! July 16th, 1972_

_Happy 4:16. This is Clarinet, my pet owl. If you could so kindly send your answer to the following question back to my house with him it would be very nice. Especially since I'd like my owl back. (I've given him strict orders not to come back unless he has a reply!) Would you like to meet me at Diagon Alley to join me for some ice cream next Saturday? (My treat of course.) Please reply as soon as possible._

_James_

Lily had written a simple one word reply on a small piece of parchment and sent Clarinet on his way. Her last thought was that James had named his owl rather oddly and that he would hopefully no longer disturb her holiday.

Exactly one month later Clarinet returned with another letter, asking Lily to meet his owner at Diagon Alley again. This time there was a small postscript that read _PS – Have you noticed a pattern? Cheers to a wonderful 4:16!_

Extremely confused, Lily sent the same reply back with Clarinet. As soon as he had flown out the window, Lily's eyes widened in realization. James asked her out once a month. At the same time.

James always asked her out on the sixteenth day of the month at 4:16…The sixteenth minute of the sixteenth hour of the sixteenth day of each and every month. Although Lily was not positive, she was sure that if she counted the seconds he would start to ask her out on the sixteenth. Her favorite number.

Incredibly flattered that someone paid that much attention to her and her favorite number, Lily decided that when 4:16 of September sixteenth rolled around she would agree to go out with James.

After Potions on September sixteenth Potter strutted up to Lily. "Evans, looking hot. I'm going to do you a favor and ask you out. Lucky you." Appalled by his attitude change, Lily rejected him quite rudely on the spot. This had not been the same sweet boy that wrote to her over the summer. He was arrogant and cocky, just another big headed jock. As Lily walked out of the Potions Dungeons, the clock changed to 4:17. Despite being a bigot, Potter had been right on time.

And that's how it went at Hogwarts. Every sixteenth second (Lily once counted) of the sixteenth minute of the sixteenth hour of the sixteenth day Potter would ask Lily out. Sometimes it was loud and public, like that one time by the lake during Fifth Year, or others it was quiet and private like last March in the library. No matter how it was done, it always ended the same – with James getting rejected.

The odd part was that no matter where Lily was, Potter made sure that he was there to ask her. Even when Lily didn't see him coming, he just literally popped out of nowhere. She would describe it as magic, but seeing as she goes to a school for magic in a castle that likes to rearrange itself for fun, this would not have the same affect as it would in the Muggle world.

One time Lily hid in the loo during Third Year to avoid the dreaded 4:16. Potter went in and asked. June of Fourth Year she was swimming in the lake. Potter comes up from the bottom with a snorkel and asks. Last month she had been in her dormitory with Alice and Mary. Potter flew up to the window and asked. No matter where she went he was there and asked. Lily had given up on hiding from the boy, finding it much less embarrassing to be caught in a public place, like this corridor by the Ancient Runes class.

And it was now December 16th again, exactly seven years after Potter first asked her out. Lily glanced at her watch which was set to Potter Standard Time. It had just turned 4:16.

Sixteen more seconds of a stress free day…

Ten seconds to go. Any minute now Potter would be rounding the corner.

Five…four…three…two…one. POTTER!

Lily glanced up the hallway, but it was the same as it was sixteen seconds before – empty. She looked behind her, expecting him to be there wearing his lop-sided grin. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Bewildered and hurt, Lily walked confusedly down the hall. Potter was the most obsessively punctual person she knew. Everything had to be perfect all the time. So why hadn't he come and asked?

Potter was the one thing in her life that always remained the same. No matter what her grades were, if she was in a fight with Alice or Mary, or was having a bad hair day Potter was always the same. Merlin, she had even set her watch by the boy!

Extremely upset, Lily stopped at what seemed to be a comfortable spot (but was actually as cold and hard as the rest of the castle) and sat down. To her uttermost dismay, she began to cry. Over Potter. It wasn't full out sobbing and weeping, mind you, but the tears were definitely rolling down her face all because James Potter did not show up at precisely 4:16:16.

While Lily sat crying, she heard heavy footsteps that were all too familiar. She slowly looked up and there was James standing with his lop-sided grin. She glanced at her watch. 4:17:07. "You're late," she sniffled quietly,

"I know," he answered crouching down to her level. "Why are you crying?"

"Because you're supposed to be the one thing that stays the same in my life!" Lily sobbed, her emotions flowing loosely now that Potter was actually there. "A-a-a-and you were late! You don't love me, you lied to me all these years!"

"Lily, I love you. Go out with me?" James asked her, staring deeply into her eyes.

Lily took a deep breath and searched his dark hazel eyes. She looked at his full face and…

**xXx**

"Dammit!" a sandy haired boy swore, glancing at his watch and back to a piece of old parchment. "When I told him to be late this month I did not mean by fifty-one seconds!"

"He's got OCD Moony, it's not his fault," Sirius replied lazily next to him. "Everything in James Potter's life must be perfectly set on schedule or in the correct spot at all times. All you have to do is have some fun with it." He walked over to James's dresser and pulled open his sock drawer, which were alphabetized by the material they were made out of. He took out two identical looking pairs – the only difference was that one was cotton and the others were nylon. He switched the pairs, shut the drawer, and walked happily back to his fellow Marauder.

"See Moony wasn't that fun? He'll realize that something's wrong, but won't be able to figure it out for a while! It'll drive him mad!" Torturing his neat freak of a best friend was one of Sirius's favorite pastimes.

"Shut it I'm trying to watch," Remus said the little dot labeled James Potter moved closer to Lily. "I think he's asking her now."

"What d'you think she'll say since he's late? If you were right, she's probably really upset," Sirius pondered.

"I dunno Padfoot," Remus answered, his eyes never leaving the parchment. "I'm hoping that the shock of his being late will sway her into saying – WHOA BABY!"

Both teens were stunned as Lily Evans moved closer to James Potter. The dot seemed to pause for a second until it moved right over the other dot so it was covering the other, the names blurred together underneath making them possible to read.

"Mischief managed!" Sirius said quickly. The parchment cleared itself as the two teens looked at each other with very pink, shocked faces.

"So erm…kitchens?" Remus asked awkwardly.

"Kitchens! Kitchens are good!" Sirius agreed hurriedly. As the two raced out the door, he added, "Let's not go by the Runes Corridor Moony!"

**It has been a while.**

**Two years.**

**I know.**


End file.
